Hiding the pipes in devoted Christian household?

[warren]

My apologies. It appears that you are maturing into a caring and concerned adult. Good luck!
ocpsdan: The parents may accept it but, they'll not get over what they will see as a failure on their part. They may never speak of it but, they will not "get over it" as you so blithely put it.

 

[dochudson]

Absolutely agree with your decision to leave them home.. but if months turn into a couple years feel your parent out on the possibility of occasionally going to a park or such and enjoying a smoke. I unless things have changed I think a large percentage of Koreans smoke.

 

[moriarty]

Warren, I don't think smoking a pipe is such a terrible crime. If my parents had ever sought to control a choice like this in my life I'm afraid we would have had to agree to disagree about smoking. I will not be dishonest with my parents - that is the respect I owe them, not capitulating to their personal opinions. It just isn't right to impose your opinions on another human being - even if they are your child. Fortunately my parents were always supportive of my choices in life and made it clear that they loved me whatever I chose to do and whether I followed their advice or not. That's my idea of a healthy family environment. In the scenario we are discussing, about avoiding smoking because a parent will not be accepting, I wonder who is the one acting selfishly - the father or the son?

 

[lasttango]

My pop is a pastor... I'm smoking one of his gorgeous vintage Celius roots now

You should see my pop's collection of pipes, single malt scotch and fly rods.
But this has everything to do with parents and you being college aged....
Parents really don't need to know who you sleep with, what you smoke or what time you really got up in the morning.
So, give your pipes to a trusted friend... In the states... Iif you get the urge to have a bowl por two in korea... Just buy a corn cob or their equivalent....
I get it though... I'm in my 40's now... If my high school lacrosse coach saw me smoking a pipe... I'd flinch inside

 

[ocpsdan]

@warren: 'get over it' may have been bold on my end. See @moriarty 's last post. He said it much better than I could have, and couldn't agree with him more.

 

[warren]

Some of you only read what and interpret what you wish to see. I did not say to lie or hide the fact. I never suggested that smoking is a criminal act. I suggested that a confrontational approach is simply unnecessary. The "in your face" approach rarely results in a civil exchange and causes long lasting wounds. I did not suggest that one shouldn't smoke as an adult even if the parents do not approve.
Neither did I suggest that one's parents would cease to love a child for smoking. I did say that, in so many words, "their house, their rules."
Disappointing one's parents is part and parcel of being the child, as is striving to make them proud. Most parent's love is unconditional and most hide their disappointment when an adult child makes a poor decision.
I respected my parents enough not to smoke in the home or on the grounds. Nor did I smoke in social situations when they were in attendance. Too much respect for their feelings I suppose. Why be confrontational?
I did not force them to voice their disappointment but, I knew that I had let them down. Smoking is probably one of the dumbest choices I ever made, just from an economics view. Still, I like it and made a choice which I did not flaunt. A selfish choice I admit. I've watched thousands of dollars waft away as I enjoyed my pipes, cigars and cigarettes.
I simply can't believe moriarty went through life and never once disappointed his parents or was disciplined for making a poor choice. Can't believe that for one moment. That would be the oddest childhood I ever heard of. Still, maybe as I wasn't there I really can't argue. Just find that hard to believe.

 

[gloucesterman]

Imposing American values on Korean culture isn't something that is likely to play out well. Honesty is the best policy. If you must smoke then be open about it but keep in mind the impacts of your actions as perceived by your parents. Is hurting them worth what you gain? But deception would be a big mistake. If you think for a moment you can walk into the house after smoking a bowl of tobacco and have it go undetected you're kidding yourself, especially if they are non-smokers. Deceiving your parents is far worse than confronting them about your pipe smoking. In the end, given the overall gains and losses, you have to make a decision about what matters most to you.

 

[moriarty]

You're right, Warren, I've disappointed my parents plenty of times. I agree with you that causing unnecessary confrontation is immature, although I also think it is important for a child to learn to think independently - it is just how you do it that is a measure of maturity.
I just bristled at the idea of parents exercising unreasonable control over their adult children, or causing their sons and daughters to feel forced to respect nonsensical rules, and this kind of parental behaviour being accepted. We probably all know people like this. I see people who carry a lot of baggage into later life because they are dominated by overbearing parents, desperate for the praise and approval that never comes, and in these cases they would have been better off to take a stand. I think moderate pipe smoking is not a poor choice in life and there is no evidence that it is unhealthy. It is unreasonable for a parent with a prejudice against it to make it an issue. Cigarettes may be a different matter.
Regarding the original poster, the best comment here, I felt, was lasttango's point that this all depends on the relationship with the parent and the poster's age. It isn't really possible to give the right advice without knowing the people involved.

 

[puffndave]

Tell them that you are now an atheist, and you don't believe in "sin"! :twisted:
As John Steinbeck put it through his character John Casey,

"There is no sin, and there is no virtue...there's just stuff people do!"
Yes, I believe this. Good and evil do exist, but they are defined by the consensus of conscientious humanity, not the arbitrary ramblings of prophets who never really saw the world which we live in today. When you have the intelligence to know what's best for you, you should go with it, and nobody else should have the right to say otherwise, so long as you aren't causing yourself and others actual harm. When they do decide what's best for others, that's where the actual harm is committed.
"Sin" truly is the most evil word in any language.
Now onto the question of whether or not to smoke while staying with your parents: you need to weigh what's more important to you. If spending quality, strife-free time with them is important to you, then maybe you don't need the pipes so much, and that depends on whether you believe you can get through the duration of your stay without them. On the other hand, your parents may be so difficult that you need the pipes just to cope with them at all, and in that case guess they'll just have to live with your smoking. Trust me, I've been there!

 

[seacaptain]

When you have the intelligence to know what's best for you, you should go with it, and nobody else should have the right to say otherwise, so long as you aren't causing yourself and others actual harm.

Proverbs 14:12

 

[Tito_Berto]

When you are with your parents, just enjoy their company. And as much as possible avoid doing things that will make them sad.
When you are elsewhere, enjoy your pipe.
The difference between your parents and your pipes is that your parents grow old, and will eventually pass away - as all of us will - but your pipes will be with you as long as you like.
I think, one does not need to be a Christian in order to realize the ethics of pipe smoking. There are other people who do not understand the hobby, not just your parents. But you do not have to convince them to change their minds regarding pipe smoking (or even smoking, for that matter) just to suit your liking. You respect them and if they do not like you smoking in their presence you smoke elsewhere. Same principle must apply to your parents.
Maybe that is the reason why we have a community of pipe smokers - even if it is just online - so that we can enjoy one another's company while smoking our favorite tobacco.
Again, when you are with your parents enjoy their company, when you are elsewhere, enjoy your pipe.
And when you are with someone who smoke a pipe, enjoy his or her company as well as your pipe.
God bless the leaves!

 

[ssjones]

I'm in the "respect your parents" camp and I was raised in a similarly Christian home (awesome parents, who don't drink or smoke). After you've graduated and gone out on your own, you'll find a time and place to share your hobby.
At 54, my parents (96 & 88) know I smoke pipes but I don't smoke in front of them. Why give them something else to un-necessarly worry about?
It is impossible to change the beliefs of certain Christian churches, don't beat your head up against that wall.

 

[puffndave]

Seacaptain: "Proverbs 14:12" There is a way which appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.
All ways lead to death. Every second that I spend here leads to death, every puff I take leads to death, every breath I take brings me closer to the end. So it is the truth with everyone. Some habits may kill you faster than life without them, but you just cannot really know that you won't get killed by an out-of-control truck tomorrow. Therefore, the best choice is always what makes you happy, unless you could not be happy and make those you care about unhappy at the same time. Which is why I tend to favor avoiding conflict with parents when it doesn't stress you to do so, but then it would hardly be too much for parents to accept that their little baby has grown up, is making his own decisions. and is happy. Parents should be happy when their children are happy, not bound within the prison of safety.

 

[peckinpahhombre]

I would hide them in the same place you keep your booze stash and party pack of condoms.

 

[woodsroad]

First, introduce them to your boyfriend, then tell them about the pipe. It won't seem so bad that way.

 

[seacaptain]

Every second that I spend here leads to death, every puff I take leads to death, every breath I take brings me closer to the end. So it is the truth with everyone. Some habits may kill you faster than life without them, but you just cannot really know that you won't get killed by an out-of-control truck tomorrow.

Hebrews 9:27

 

[warren]

And we are back. Somebody picked at a fairly fresh scab I see.

 

[puffndave]

Seacaptain, if you want to argue using bible verses, all of which have nothing to do with tobacco, then I'd be happy to shred your delusions of moral superiority elsewhere - here is not the place for that! Also, if you are going to post nothing but names and numbers and expect that to mean something to those who read other sources for their wisdom, then you'll need to post the full quote. Which would likely cross the line into proselytizing - oh well!
Enough of this thread is what I've had - I will not allow myself to be made the patsy in hijacking it off course for this poor young man!