Thanks everyone. Some good ideas, but nothing that quite fits all parts of the brief, yet (except a commission, in respect of which: first, I wouldn't know where to start; and, secondly, sounds expensive).
I doubt any artisan would make a meerschaum lined pipe, that's pretty rare among handmades. What make you seek a meerschaum lining? (there are a lot of GBD and Peterson estate pipes with Meerschaum linings, from the 70's I guess when they were more popular)
I read this post because because from the title I thought you were trapped on a desert island with WiFi and you had no other friends or family except pipe smokers.