Hello All! Least Desirable Smoking Experience?

[JSPiper71]

A terrible pipe smoking experience was lighting up a fairly expensive (to me) briar at my cabin and then going to the beach while in Belize. When I got to the beach, the wind was so strong that my pipe got incredibly hot almost immediately, to the point I was pretty sure I was headed for burnout city. With no shirt on and only a pair of board shorts, there was no place to put it and let it cool down so I had to roast my palm over the bowl until it went out. Saved the pipe but burned my hand. I stuck with cigars after that.

I'll think about pipe/tobacco combos that may have been terrible and post if I remember any.

Haha. That’s a good one. Best laid plans….. Wind sucks for smoking. I even hate smoking cigars in the wind. It’s like the wind gets more enjoyment out of the cigar than I do.

 

[JSPiper71]

My worst experience thus far in my novice pipe smoking life was because I didn‘t know what the hell I was doing. I splurged and bought some Sutliff Cringle Flake. My first bowl was absolutely heaven. A true life changing experience. Pretty sure angels were dancing around me that night. A couple days later I couldn‘t wait for a repeat of that same experience. I even pulled out my precious Great Grandfarher’s Meerschaum pipe for the occasion, grabbed the dog and headed into the bush for some solitude and what was sure to be the perfect bowl. For what ever reason I packed it way too tight, especially because the Cringle is pretty wet out of the tin. I was hauling and hauling on the thing wondering what the hell was wrong. Flavour was gone, kept going out, etc. By the time I figured what I had done, it was and un-savable, sloppy mess. Pipe was gurgling, tobacco ruined and I was so disappointed. I’ve learned a lot in a very short period of time thanks to this forum and generous community.

Welcome from Toronto.

 

[jpmcwjr]

Haha. That’s a good one. Best laid plans….. Wind sucks for smoking. I even hate smoking cigars in the wind. It’s like the wind gets more enjoyment out of the cigar than I do.

I love smoking when it's windy- but not gales! A pipe is easy to shield from excessive air movement; cigars are not. When it's over about 10 knots, it's time to set the pipe down in a shielded area.

 

[kcghost]

Smoke some Black XXX rope that was terrible. All I got from it was the terrible taste of ash and a lot of it.

 

[STP]

Welcome, Ian. No real bad experiences here, except for a few burn holes in my clothes.

 

[troutface]

Taste is too subjective. There's going to be blends that you hear many crowing hymns of adoration that you will have an immediate aversion to while the exact opposite is also possible.

Exactly. What does make for a mediocre smoke is packing too tightly or trying to smoke tobacco that is too wet. Even after all these years I still commit those sins occasionally.

 

[cigrmaster]

The worst blend I ever tasted was SG Fiiredance Flake. It was horrible, tasted like I puked in my mouth. The other worst experience was trying to smoke GH Ennerdale Flake . That tasted like the hockey pucks you see in men's urinals.

I stock tons of SG Flakes but all mine are from 2012 and earlier. I have no idea what they have done to the company now. I hear tales of SG products being tainted by GH machines.

 

[rmpeeps]

Outside of an aversion to Germain's version of Balkan Sobranie, a blend that tastes and smells like gasoline infused puppy farts to me, one that I have accepted as unsmokeable, the only really bad experience I've had goes back to my initial days of pipe smoking.

Where now there is a broad pink swath of bald head there once was a super thick head of luxuriant long black hair. I was in my dorm room at UCLA with a new meerschaum, one of my first pipes, and I was trying to light up a bowl of "whatsis" that I had packed way too tightly.

As I sat hunched over the pipe puffing mightily, lighter in hand, a lock of said luxuriant black hair flipped forward into the path of the roaring flame and ignited. In a flash, the flame ran up, thoroughly singing and charring the defenseless lock, filling the room with the stench of burning hair. Instant buzz cut. No serious damage done, except to my hair and my ego.

Bless your heart…
My most undesirable blend of all time is/was Dunhill Nightcap.
Just hideous stuff, tossed 1/2 pound over the fence after multiple attempts over a 15 year period.

 

[hauntedmyst]

If you would, could you tell me a "less than satisfactory" pipe smoking experience you may have had in the past?

Once I loaded up a bowl of Esoterica Penzance in a new Dunhill and went out in the garage. I got my Kindle set up, arranged my coffee, pulled out a plastic lawn chair, opened the garage door and sat down to light my pipe. Damn! Forgot my lighter! So I grabbed some matches off my workbench, lit my pipe and flicked the matches over my shoulder. Ahh, Penzance, that wonderful unicorn! Smoky, creamy, unique and delicious. About five minutes later, the explosion happened. I was launched out of the garage and landed against the garage across the alley. Apparently I got knocked out because when I came to, the fire department was there with me on a gurney. Did I mention my brand new Mercedes was in the garage? What was left of it anyways. As they wheeled me away, I realized I still had the Dunhill in my hand. Well, the bowl was in my hand. The stem was in the burned out alley. I had tossed the matches near a gas can, next to some propane tanks. To recap, I burned down my garage, destroyed my new car, busted a brand new pipe and there was nothing left in the burned out tin of Penzance. So yeah, I'd say that was a pretty unsatisfactory pipe smoking experience.

 

[JSPiper71]

Once I loaded up a bowl of Esoterica Penzance in a new Dunhill and went out in the garage. I got my Kindle set up, arranged my coffee, pulled out a plastic lawn chair, opened the garage door and sat down to light my pipe. Damn! Forgot my lighter! So I grabbed some matches off my workbench, lit my pipe and flicked the matches over my shoulder. Ahh, Penzance, that wonderful unicorn! Smoky, creamy, unique and delicious. About five minutes later, the explosion happened. I was launched out of the garage and landed against the garage across the alley. Apparently I got knocked out because when I came to, the fire department was there with me on a gurney. Did I mention my brand new Mercedes was in the garage? What was left of it anyways. As they wheeled me away, I realized I still had the Dunhill in my hand. Well, the bowl was in my hand. The stem was in the burned out alley. I had tossed the matches near a gas can, next to some propane tanks. To recap, I burned down my garage, destroyed my new car, busted a brand new pipe and there was nothing left in the burned out tin of Penzance. So yeah, I'd say that was a pretty unsatisfactory pipe smoking experience.

Ok then…..we have a winner! No one will top this so I guess the monitors can shut this thread down!

 

[scout19d3]

Least desirable...
View attachment 121373

I feel this way fairly often ensconced in my full-face motorcycle helmet! No piping available while riding is a bummer

Oh, BTW @IllegitimationStation - Welcome, from Katy, TX, USA

 

[LotusEater]

Smoking anything when it’s windy usually sucks and I detest Exotic Passion although I know some/many here enjoy it.

 

[jpmcwjr]

Once I loaded up a bowl of Esoterica Penzance in a new Dunhill and went out in the garage. I got my Kindle set up, arranged my coffee, pulled out a plastic lawn chair, opened the garage door and sat down to light my pipe. Damn! Forgot my lighter! So I grabbed some matches off my workbench, lit my pipe and flicked the matches over my shoulder. Ahh, Penzance, that wonderful unicorn! Smoky, creamy, unique and delicious. About five minutes later, the explosion happened. I was launched out of the garage and landed against the garage across the alley. Apparently I got knocked out because when I came to, the fire department was there with me on a gurney. Did I mention my brand new Mercedes was in the garage? What was left of it anyways. As they wheeled me away, I realized I still had the Dunhill in my hand. Well, the bowl was in my hand. The stem was in the burned out alley. I had tossed the matches near a gas can, next to some propane tanks. To recap, I burned down my garage, destroyed my new car, busted a brand new pipe and there was nothing left in the burned out tin of Penzance. So yeah, I'd say that was a pretty unsatisfactory pipe smoking experience.

Sounds like you didn't get tongue bite, though!

This one has to be the winner. OMG!!

 

[monty55]

As a lot of others have stated, it's really too subjective unless there were extenuating circumstances involved. I could tell of a blend which I hate, but that would offend others. So, I really don't have a truly bad experience to share. But welcome from Texas! Glad to have you onboard.

 

[Simmerdown☕️]

Once I loaded up a bowl of Esoterica Penzance in a new Dunhill and went out in the garage. I got my Kindle set up, arranged my coffee, pulled out a plastic lawn chair, opened the garage door and sat down to light my pipe. Damn! Forgot my lighter! So I grabbed some matches off my workbench, lit my pipe and flicked the matches over my shoulder. Ahh, Penzance, that wonderful unicorn! Smoky, creamy, unique and delicious. About five minutes later, the explosion happened. I was launched out of the garage and landed against the garage across the alley. Apparently I got knocked out because when I came to, the fire department was there with me on a gurney. Did I mention my brand new Mercedes was in the garage? What was left of it anyways. As they wheeled me away, I realized I still had the Dunhill in my hand. Well, the bowl was in my hand. The stem was in the burned out alley. I had tossed the matches near a gas can, next to some propane tanks. To recap, I burned down my garage, destroyed my new car, busted a brand new pipe and there was nothing left in the burned out tin of Penzance. So yeah, I'd say that was a pretty unsatisfactory pipe smoking experience.

 

[IllegitimationStation]

Once I loaded up a bowl of Esoterica Penzance in a new Dunhill and went out in the garage. I got my Kindle set up, arranged my coffee, pulled out a plastic lawn chair, opened the garage door and sat down to light my pipe. Damn! Forgot my lighter! So I grabbed some matches off my workbench, lit my pipe and flicked the matches over my shoulder. Ahh, Penzance, that wonderful unicorn! Smoky, creamy, unique and delicious. About five minutes later, the explosion happened. I was launched out of the garage and landed against the garage across the alley. Apparently I got knocked out because when I came to, the fire department was there with me on a gurney. Did I mention my brand new Mercedes was in the garage? What was left of it anyways. As they wheeled me away, I realized I still had the Dunhill in my hand. Well, the bowl was in my hand. The stem was in the burned out alley. I had tossed the matches near a gas can, next to some propane tanks. To recap, I burned down my garage, destroyed my new car, busted a brand new pipe and there was nothing left in the burned out tin of Penzance. So yeah, I'd say that was a pretty unsatisfactory pipe smoking experience.

Holy crap. Wow.

 

[huckleberry]

Some of the tobacco I smoked when I was in the Far East, (Viet Nam.Japan, and Philippines) was some of the most "unusual" tasting tobacco I've experienced. I'm not talking about the tobacco sold at the Px to Americans, but the stuff sold by the indigenous peoples. It was something worse than anything I've smoked since.

 

[Simmerdown☕️]

How’s bout my 1st month or 2 of smoking a pipe. I burnt ? myself to high heaven because I’m rhythmically deficient. I had to finally put my tongue out of commission for a couple weeks to recover. Then like most folks who continue to touch a hot stove we learn what not to do. ?

Still it’s no where a crazy a tale as was that @hauntedmyst story…I mean Damn!?️