Hat Etiquette for Men

[johnnyreb]

All this talk of hat racks, but would anyone really leave an expensive hat on a rack next to a restaurant door? No way I'd do that in today's world.

I agree. The last time I parked my hat on a hat rack in a restaurant while I dined I returned to find a couple of pre teens dancing like Michael Jackson with my hat. When I retrieved it from them they said they thought someone had left it there. They obviously had no manners & didn't know what a hat rack was for.
In lmost chain restaurants today the male waitstaff wear ball caps. I figure I'll remove my hat as a sign of respect when they remove their caps upon serving me. But in all honesty I'd rather they wear their ball caps than a hair net, or worse yet I should find a hair in my food. And as someone has already pointed out I find ear gauges, piercings & tattoos among waitstaff & other patrons much more offensive than I do hats or caps being worn.

 

[robwoodall]

I love it when people wear their hats indoors, because that tells me everything I need to know about them.
The one exception, though, is wait staff at restaurants. I worked in the "restaurant industry," during college (OK, I was a fry cook, but restaurant industry sounds fancier) and a lot of places have weird rules about head gear because of hair. I don't really see a baseball cap as an effective hair-in-the-food preventer, but it is often a requirement for the job.

 

[jkrug]

Great post MSO. Not sure where I learned it but I follow the proper hat etiquette most of the time. I usually have a ball cap on but also wear a nice brimmed hat when the wife and I go out. The exceptions to removing my hat indoors would be as others have mentioned when I need my hands free for something. I might have gotten away with wearing a hat in the house as a youth but to wear one at the dinner table would surely get me a "cuff" upside the head. ::

 

[tbradsim1]

A long time ago at a class reunion I decked a man I went to school with when he grabbed my Steston and attempted to put it on his head. Big NoNo, you don't touch another mans hat. Hat comes off inside, don't put it on the table, when in restaurants its on its own chair, not on the table. You take it off during the National Anthem, never showing the lining or inside.of the hat. Things have changed, unfortunately, not much respect for anything anymore, Athletes chewing gum, looking around during the National Anthem, grabassing.no wonder this country is in the Shit Chute.

 

[johnnyreb]

If you're really offended or feel disrespected by someone wearing their hat in a restaurant then you obviously haven't shopped at Walmart in a while:
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/page/5/

 

[elbert]

I work in a deli, and so wear a hat indoors all day long. Of course that's the only non-winter hat that I wear. I'm too young to "pull it off", as they say--these days a young man wearing a fine hat and observing the old ways would be labeled a hipster.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

-these days a young man wearing a fine hat and observing the old ways would be labeled a hipster.

That's a damned shame. I am not sure which I think is more sad, hating hipsters, hipsters themselves, or being afraid of looking like a hipster.

 

[pipestud]

First, I don't think there's a restaurant in business down here in Texas that does not allow a gentleman to wear his hit while dining. If someone wants to wear his Stetson while enjoying dinner at a 5-star restaurant, so what? Of course, if he chooses to wear an old grease stained John Deere ball cap while eating at a 5-star restaurant, he probably would get a few disdainful looks. Hat etiquette has changed greatly since the 1950s, '60s, etc, that is for sure. But, so has etiquette for a lot of other things.
Personally, I don't wear my hat in a church. I will wear a hat in a movie theater or indoor sporting event only if it's a ball cap. Common sense dictates that hats should not be worn in the shower.

 

[freakiefrog]

I grew up it a house with cowboys, the real kind that tip their hats to ladies, took them off inside and never set them upside down. Wearing hat indoors, at the table or even in a car is something that makes me itch. I really want to walk over and knock baseball caps off of kids indoors..

 

[pipestud]

I grew up it a house with cowboys, the real kind that tip their hats to ladies, took them off inside and never set them upside down. - freakiefrog

I hate to be contrary, freakie, but actually, real cowboys will ALWAYS set their hats down upside down (brim up, as we say). Nothing gets a well steamed hat brim out of shape quicker than placing them brim down. So, when we take off our coats and hats at church, we "rack 'em and stack 'em" in the appropriate locations.
Pipestud

 

[elbert]

That's a damned shame. I am not sure which I think is more sad, hating hipsters, hipsters themselves, or being afraid of looking like a hipster.

Ain't that the truth. To be fair, it's not as though I have a deep-seated desire to wear a nice hat, but the prevailing men's fashion of 'forced casual' is a little stifling. This summer I bought a nice linen shirt for days outside--perhaps next summer I'll pick up a well-made straw hat to complement.

 

[freakiefrog]

I hate to be contrary, freakie, but actually, real cowboys will ALWAYS set their hats down upside down (brim up, as we say). Nothing gets a well steamed hat brim out of shape quicker than placing them brim down. So, when we take off our coats and hats at church, we "rack 'em and stack 'em" in the appropriate locations.

That's what I meant by upside down brim up as it were. I was told it was so you don't pour the luck out on the table. LOL

 

[mso489]

bigpond, anachronism, but only maybe. John F. Kennedy stopped wearing hats ending an entire epoch of hat-wearing where crowds of men were frequently photographed entirely hat-wearing, whether fedoras or newsboy caps or whatever, but a hat on every one. Now mens' hats have eased back into culture, for style, and for protection from uv rays, and other reasons. So the question is, are we fine with no rules? Is wearing a non-religious hat in a place of worship fine? I was corrected when I absentmindedly failed to remove my hat entering a cathedral in London, which I then quickly and gladly removed. I see that a restaurant in Texas might happily include mostly Stetson wearing men, but in other regions, maybe the no-hat policy is equally good -- we're not in Texas anymore. A local cafeteria near where I live provides hooks under the table for women's purses and men's hats, which seems really intelligent. They don't enforce the hat rule, just provide an alternative to wearing it. So I don't think we're just talking ancient strictures here. All etiquette is not bad. Much of it serves a purpose. Don't sit down next to people in public and conduct a loud cell phone conversation ... might be a good ethic if not a rule. This stuff is often negotiable, but worth thinking about.

 

[jpmcwjr]

Always hat off indoors.

 

[buroak]

I will readily confess to routinely violating the hat etiquette of bygone days. I admire the old norms, but I have been conditioned by a variety of factors to just put a baseball cap on in the morning and leave it on all day. In the winter once I have pulled on my wool watch cap, I consciously leave it on unless I have returned home for the day. The lines that cap leaves imprinted on my forehead would certainly be more visually disruptive than the hat itself. Context does sometimes alter my behavior. My hat always comes off as I cross the threshold into a church. If I am wearing a brimmed hat, that hat comes off as soon as I go indoors.
mso489, Thanks for starting this conversation. It may make me a more responsible hat owner.

 

[sablebrush52]

Have you considered that hat etiquette is an anachronism best left to the days of starched collars and wool britches? Rather than breech, etiquette has bent to the spirit of the times just like it has on the past. It's natural, I suspect, to malign this in one's dotage and rally for it in youth.

A hat is an opportunity to express one's character in a way that few other items of clothing allow. Doffing one's hat when being introduced is a public act of respect that is easily understood and appreciated. Doffing one's trousers is for more private moments.
Regarding hat racks, there are alternatives to the rack by the door. One of my favorite Italian restaurants features high backed booths that afford their patrons some privacy from the other monkeys, and these booths are equipped with hooks, suitable for hats, coats, etc. And there used to be this place called a hat check where one could turn over one's hat and coat to the care of the establishment. Any restaurant that considers itself a "fine dining" establishment should be able to handle such needs. If they can't, they're BS.
As for the "backwards baseball cap" sartorial statement, I don't care if someone wants to look like a douche as long as they don't act like a douche.

 

[warren]

Proper or right behavior is never passe. If the younger folk wish to ignore it well, it is their choice. But, to many they are making a negative statement with regards to their respect for others and what they did or didn't learn from their parents. A bit of rebellion to be sure. Still, good manners are good manners at any age.
Some will argue this of course. I can only speak for myself, if a young man doesn't take off his hat, respecting my age, my respect for him is diminished. Not important to the impertinent youngster I'm sure, unless he is seeking a job or other favor. He'll no doubt have no clue as to why he was refused.

 

[dochudson]

In the military of yore, you only saluted when "covered," and you were only covered outdoors.
Unless you were armed then you remain 'covered' inside.

 

[voorhees]

I like to wear flat caps. Not during the work week as I end up with terrible hat hair with any hat. I really don't like to remove it during the time I wear one. No disrespect intended, but my hair will look ridiculous. I usually try and think what I'll be doing that entire day before donning one. If there is a nice sit down meal, I won't wear a hat that day. But if I am running about and get some wings at Hooter's, the hat stays. More thought goes into it than you'd think and that's respect enough.

 

[captainprophesy]

My question is... why get OFFENDED? that seems so silly to go around getting offended by peoples questionable fashion actions. If someone wants to have tattoos or piercing or wear a ball cap or hat indoors... so be it. I know I have manners as do my children, outside of that... I really don't care.
Now! I'm not dogging on this thread as I find it fascinating on what others habits are, or what they like to do... I'm just saying, why get your panties in a wad is all.