Groaners

[hmhaines]

We've got a thread like this on my favorite cigar forum. Share your groaners here!




What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator.

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The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery

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The key to a good clock joke is the timing

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The key to a good lock joke is the key

 

[ashdigger]

why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you'll get Jurasskicked
__
If you adjust your posture ...... do you stand corrected?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

There's an active cigar forum?

 

[agnosticpipe]

Definition of the word "horrible" - capable of becoming a whore.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

The mountains are not only funny, but they are hill areas.

 

[aldecaker]

My girlfriend had a lazy eye. She was always seeing someone on the side.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

When my buddy, William, joined the army he quickly learned to dislike the phrase, "fire at will."

 

[cosmicfolklore]

My bike doesn't stand on its own, because it's two-tired.

 

[huntertrw]

How do you make antifreeze?
Hide her nightgown.

 

[huntertrw]

Why is a cat's tail like a long journey?
Because it's fur to the end.

 

[stickframer]

What do you call a cow who is always eating grass from the neighbours side of the fence?
A mooocher.

 

[huntertrw]

Is assimilation the act of setting one's own posterior on fire?

 

[pagan]

Corny :rofl:

 

[jvnshr]

Heard this one in Two and a Half Men:
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with only one leg work at? Ihop.

 

[orobusto]

I didn't like her apartment, so I knocked her flat.
I got a weak back. I got it about a week back.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

A buddy of mine was hit by a piece of falling glass that cut off his entire left side. He's alright now.

 

[agnosticpipe]

Definition of pathology - the science of backpacking.
A bagpipe is a loose container in which pipes are kept.

 

[hmhaines]

So I says to my one legged wife, "Peg," I says, "you oughta cut the other one off and go on the bum."

Utah Phillips had plenty of these painfully silly one liners...
You guys are doing great, keep 'em coming!

 

[darthcider]

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur?

A doyouthinkhesaurus.
And the name of his dog? Doyouthinkhesaurus rex

 

[prairiedruid]

What do you call a cow that had an abortion?
Decalfinated