Welcome aboard! Flake tobaccos can be intimidating at first, but then so can anything else. And, just like languages, it gets easier the more time you spend speaking it.
For starters, I'd just rub the flake apart in your hands. End result you're looking for is the flake broken down into as many individual ribbons as you reasonably can. If you have to ask, you're probably good enough.
After that, load it up. Sprinkle it in the bowl until full. Then give it a couple gentle taps on the side to settle it. Top it off and give it one more round of gentle taps. There should be a little bit rounded above the top of the bowl. GENTLY press that down until its even with the bowl.
At this point, you'll want to test the draw. You should feel breathing through the pipe, but not uncomfortably so. Noticeable, but in the background.
As far as lighting goes, if you can light a birthday candle with it without hurting the candle, it'll work. You absolutely do not need a specialty lighter. I use a cheap disposable Bic 90% of the time with no ill effects. While I'm here, you absolutely don't need a tamper. You need something to tamp with, sure. But a roofing nail, golf tee, shell casing, finger, or even stick you found on the ground can all tamp very well. Those gorgeous lighters and tampers are beautiful, I won't lie. And there is nothing like the snap of a Zippo or ping of a Nimrod, just like there's nothing quite like riding a perfectly tuned Ducati on the track. But that is no knock on my old beat up Yamaha SV.
As you get time, check out the stickied threads in the Tobacco Discussion sub. Those threads will answer questions you didn't know you had.
