Disinterested wife?

[scloyd]

My wife has no interest in my pipes, tobacco, bicycles or German HO trains. I have no interest in her 1960's wooden doll house she is renovating, her fancy coloring books or essential oils. When any of these subjects come up in conversation we listen to each other and act interested. We do have common interests...travel, food, walking/hiking, camping and a few others.
As for how much we spend on our hobbies...since our kids are all grown and out of the house we spend what we want on whatever we want within reason. I can spend $300 on a HO engine no problem. If I come home with a $600 HO engine...there will be a discussion.

 

[npod]

My gal is awesome. I’m going on my second marriage. The first would not speak to me for days if she found tobacco. She was not only disinterested, but she was highly judgemental and spiteful about it. I made the mistake of hiding it and lying about it, that was definitely wrong. My current fiancée could care less about pipes and tobacco, she actually doesn’t like it at all, she is a fitness buff and can’t understand the attraction one bit. She especially laughs out loud when she sees me watching blogs about pipes when they are described, she says it’s like a Saturday Night skit. But she never judges. In fact, she now tells me to go smoke a pipe and relax when needed. I make sure to take a shower after each smoke and make sure to always spend time with her and support her interests. As long as I balance the hobby with our life it works out splendidly. I’m blessed.

 

[jaytex1969]

I like to play a game in my head where I answer one post's title with another . . . . All I can say is: disinterested wife? The stinger. Good luck.

I composed a poem a while ago based on title threads.
Suffer through it HERE.

 

[willisk]

Jay that is hilarious!!

 

[piper64]

Haven't spoke to the wife in 8 weeks, too scared to interrupt her

 

[workman]

It's the economy. As long as there is enough money and time spent on the household, kids and togetherness (Barry White softly playing in the background), it is fine. If my soon-to-be wife complains about pipe smoking, It's cause she thinks I'm freewheeling our relationship. Then I try not to freewheel.

 

[daveinlax]

I don't know if mrslax has any idea what I've spent on the collection but I know she seems to enjoy that I enjoy it. We have pipe friendly homes and she's been to quiet a few shows over the years and helped me host a few pipe club parties at our place years ago. 8O

 

[willisk]

Daveinlax that is awesome!! We have little ones in the home so no beuno indoors but I do have a closed in back porch that will see a lot of use this winter !!

 

[tuold]

Being as my wife and I are retired, I think it would fatal if we shared the same interests. As it is, we both have varied hobbies and move around in different circles. That gives us more to talk about when we are together. I know she has about as much interest in pipes, Early Music, and aviation as I do in quilts, icon making and clog dancing. I am interested to the extent I want to hear about the things that make her happy without actually taking part in them. That comes from years of history knowing that anything we try to do together soon becomes a competition to see who can do it better =)
Being hostile or condescending is a different matter. I'd want to find out the reason for that. Could be a concern about money or health. Hopefully it's not jealousy or envy that you have something that brings you pleasure outside your relationship.

 

[seacaptain]

My wife is generally not interested in my hobbies and I'm not interested in hers. But, she does go shooting with me and we're supportive of each others interests.

 

[peckinpahhombre]

My wife doesn't really care about what tobacco I purchase or how many pipes I have. She has no idea what I spend.

 

[skeeter456]

A happy wife is a happy life... eh screw it she cant see this!

 

[weezell]

Someone needs a spanking.

YEA! Bad girl, bad girl.Or is it bad boy,bad boy??? :mrgreen: ...

 

[lasttango]

I show interest in her interests. While I strongly dislike like reality tv shows or puzzles, it makes me feel good to see her get excited, happy, enthused etc. It's good manners and when I was "courting" her I found things she enjoyed interesting because I found her interesting. It takes effort, patience and love to sit through an hour of a reality tv show.
She's pretty good about returning the interest until she starts feeling neglected.
At the moment, she considering letting me smoke inside if I stick to aros. I ordered some gentleman's caller and a couple others for this test.

 

[madox07]

Tobacco and alcohol are far more enjoyable plus there's always other women.

Amen to that. Any woman that thinks she can manipulate/control her husband by sex deprivation is on a certain road to perdition. Funny thing is that these type of women are the ones to scream "bloody murder" when they get cheated on, as a result of their sex deprivation strategy backfiring.

 

[workman]

I like where this thread is going :puffpipe:

 

[Chasing Embers]

@madox07
:clap:

 

[jjmitchem]

I wasn't going to post but I just got done counseling one of my Soldiers who just found out his wife wants a divorce (she couldn't wait two more months until he got home from Afghanistan...)
First - I have been married 27 years, most of it while on Active duty (had a break in service in the middle) Do we share the same hobbies and likes - of course not. But over the years with all the deployments we have both come to appreciate the things the other likes to do. I will sit through her Hallmark channel movies and when she is in her sewing room working on some project Ill do my best to sit in there with her to talk or read or something. When I sit out back to smoke she will join me in a glass of wine, beer or something stronger. With all the deployments and training exercises we value our time together - this comes with time and not from being told to do so (and that's from my experience as a marriage counselor). Over the years we have found things that we both like - riding the motorcycle, enjoying music..
What I do tell couples who are going through the growing pains of marriage is to just appreciate each other and respect each other's likes. Spend time with the other in their interests, but also expect the same from them.
The Golden Rule in a marriage is NOT "do unto other as you would have done unto yourself" but is "Do unto your spouse as they need being done unto".
In other terms - if she puts you 100% ahead of herself and you put her 100% in ahead of yours then both of your needs and likes and being met and it feels a whole lot better to have someone who has your back rather than you having to take care of yourself. Of course this HAS to be mutual or it wont work.
It doesn't matter if a marriage is on the door of divorce - marriage counseling always helps, it doesn't have to be about the negative, it can be about "how can we do this better", "we are happy but we want more"....

 

[jaytex1969]

Over the years we have found things that we both like - riding the motorcycle...

As the old saying goes, you never see a motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrist's office!
Thanks, Jim.

 

[jvnshr]

Then it’s why didn’t you discuss this with me ( anything over $100 rule )!

Keep it below $100. Problem solved.