Describe Yourself As A Pipe

[lochinvar]

A big Rhodesian, bulging out in a few places, but proportioned and attractive (maybe...sorta....moving on). I smoke cool but can be puffed to bite, but generally smoke to the bottom with no trouble. Smooth, with a few dents and scrapes. Oh, and I'm stamped Rattray's of Perth because if its not Scottish it's crap.

 

[foggymountain]

This is a most amusing writing exercise. Foggy is a twisted bent bulldog with the bowl out of line with the shank.He makes strange noises when you smoke him and doesn't let all the smoke through. I believe he keeps a lot of it for himself (the rascal)! He has bristly hair growing all over him, especially around the snout, which makes it messy when you have to stuff some tobacco inside. His stem is chewed up with pieces missing And he tends to catch fire when lit. He is said to not smell all that good, though some women love the smell, and often could use a good cleaning. He dislikes being referred to as "estate." If he doesn't want to be smoked, he will constantly extinguish the flame and/or burn your mouth.

 

[anthonyrosenthal74]

I'm a half bent dublin in need of a good polishing, beginning to look a little dull. I have a few nicks and dents and a little bit of rim darkening... I am pushing 40 after all. But all in all I'm still in pretty descent shape, and reliable and smoke like a dream. :D

 

[tbradsim1]

I am a Stubby, Chubby Rusticated Gone Bad Contray Billard, If Im not in the mood for a Smoke, I won't use the excuse ( I Have A Headache ) I just won't let you pack your pipe right. At first draw I will constrict my shank like holding a big fart and make you puff and puff, to tease I will let you have 3 or 4 Devine puffs and relax you, then constriction again leaving you to wonder what the hell is wrong with that pipe. Frusticated you will lay me down half full and walk away swearing that SOB smoked good last week, with you gone I will lazily curl and sigh and slowly smoke down to ash. I am a Stubby, Chubby, Rusticated Gone Bad Contray Billard.

 

[mso489]

...love that word "contray!" I think that's Cajun for contrary, but it brings the region with it and means

much more!

 

[plateauguy]

Great description, Bradley!

 

[saint007]

A Blowfish with a really really short stem.

 

[taerin]

I'm a churchwarden, elegant, runs hot, and can easily kill you if your not paying attention

 

[mso489]

A slightly bent blasted author with a fishtail and no cake. Hand-carved in the U.S.

Ghosted, restored, retorted, exported, repatriated, unappreciated, excoriated,

celebrated and recreated. A few fills, thrills, chills and spills. Chatter, foreign matter,

dottle, and twaddle. An upstanding pipe is I. I will burn aromatic in the attic,

Balkan while you're walkin', and etc.

 

[shutterbugg]

Long, thick, straight and hard. Oh you meant a smoking pipe?

 

[blueeyedogre]

A big, ugly, beat up sitter with a stem held on with duct tape and a tenancy to smoke hot.

 

[tuold]

Smoked hard, put away wet. Good for parts.