Dealing With the Naysayers

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uberam3rica

Lifer
Sep 7, 2011
4,015
9
Capac, Michigan
My dad never hassled me about my smoking, even when I was smoking ciggs. He would just say "It's your body, I can't stop you". Now my mom used to give me a hard time, but she doesn't anymore. She just tell me I stink after I smoke. But when she did hassle me, I just told her to leave me alone, that the pipe is healthier then cigs, and that I'm an adult who can make my own decisions. Eventually, they will probably leave you alone. People hassling about my smoking is one of the things that irritates me most.

 

sparroa

Lifer
Dec 8, 2010
1,466
4
PR, there are plenty of risks that go along with pipe smoking but I would wager that genetics and factors such as heavy drinking and certain viral infections magnify the risks many times over for select individuals while others may smoke without harm for decades. I won't sugarcoat tobacco use for you - perhaps you are one of the ones who are susceptible to smoking cancers. These are the risks you take when you light up. That's not being a fearmonger, that's just speaking the truth. We can never know for sure the effects our actions are going to have until it is too late. Statistics are cold comfort when you are the outlier...
Anyway, there are a few questions you have to ask for yourself; do I like smoking a pipe? How much do I like smoking a pipe, and what does it offer me? Is it worth the risk? I think you will be better off if you can convince yourself that smoking a pipe is okay, because if you were sure you wouldn't ask us...
For an enjoyable life, moderation in all things - including moderation - is probably the best medicine.
For the healthiest and/or life - there is probably a lot of good situations where abstinence is best but I'll be damned if that is the most desirable choice for most of us...
Best of luck.

 

jah76

Lifer
Jun 27, 2012
1,611
35
First off. Good for your parents and their looking out for you. No matter what they're just worried about their baby boy.
Second off. Good for you for being a man and deciding what is right for you.
I don't deal with naysayers in general. I have other areas of my life that I can spend that (often pointless) energy. I find my kids ask me about it more then anyone else and I just try to teach them lessons about moderation and honesty. The garbage food additives we put in our bodies without blinking an eye are likely 10x worse then my 10 bowl a week pipe habit.
Enjoy the journey!

 

cavendish

Part of the Furniture Now
Jan 22, 2013
806
1
The way I see it. People will give opinions on your health b/c they care about you, it's human nature. However, it's your life, your body and you choose to enjoy it anyway you like. That's the joy of living in 'free' country.

 

numbersix

Lifer
Jul 27, 2012
5,449
61
IMO, it is safe to say that the avg “naysayer” is at much higher risk of serious disease, including cancer, from their own diets and lack of nutrition than anyone is from tobacco use...especially from pipe smoking, which has a very low risk factor.
+1
Hard to believe it, but the majority of the country's drinking supply is tainted with everything from rocket fuel to flouride (a known poison). Pipe smoking is the least of your worries.
Well I'm stealin the list Kashmir. One of the best posts I've read in years.
+1
Thanks Kasmir for that list - great post indeed!

 

shaintiques

Lifer
Jul 13, 2011
3,616
235
Georgia
My folks were not too excited when I started either now they buy me pipes and tobacco. My dad helped me get many of the tools I was lacking for my pipe shop too. When people care about you they often tend to get passionate about the things you are passionate about. Give it some time.

 

easterntraveler

Part of the Furniture Now
Dec 29, 2012
805
11
To begin with your 18 and in college. Your parents no longer have the ability to "protect" you from the outside world. It probably is not even the pipe smoking that is the major issue. Just the fact that your going to be influenced from alot of different people that you normally would not have, scares the hell out of them. Stop with the statistics and what is better. It's not going to work. First acknowledge there concearn and thank them for it. Then Explain to them that not every decision you make they are going to agree with but yet again it is your decision. Also let them know your intention was not to be judged or be looked down upon but to keep them involved in the changes in your life. Your parents are not some ultra liberal trying to stop the world from smoking they are just concerned parents and need to be treated as such. Also if you no longer live at home periodically send them pictures of you and slip in one or two with your pipe studying or having a good time. Relate something that they determine negative with something positive. Sooner or later the pipe will appear more as an accessory than some object out of the norm.

 

erichbaumer

Part of the Furniture Now
Dec 4, 2012
738
6
Illinois
Great advice all.

I'm not one of the experienced wise ones, just another college student- my roommate introduced me to smoking first semester last year. It's a little easier here because I'm on a heavy smoking campus, in terms of both cigarettes and pipes/cigars, but I had the parental disapproval from my dad. He eventually accepted it, and this past summer even suggested I grab a cigar to smoke when we drink scotch together on the porch (the only thing that could have possibly been better was asking for one!). This Christmas I actually got away with a pipe inside. It took a while for the condescending looks to stop though. Just stick with it, and I'm sure they'll understand that it's something you enjoy and value.

 

tslex

Lifer
Jun 23, 2011
1,482
15
Tobacco is bad for you. As is alcohol, red meat, dairy, and a host of other things. When you boil it down, life itself is terminal. That being said, a life devoid of these things is pretty hollow, IMO. Indulgence, tempered with restraint, is the name of the game.
Damn-well said.

 

uberam3rica

Lifer
Sep 7, 2011
4,015
9
Capac, Michigan
Another thing, sometimes when my moms sees me with my pipe about to go outside, she will say "Oh good, you can get the news paper". She also told me I should try to get a job in the industry, since I am so passionate about pipes and tobacco. I don;t know where her change of heart came from, but I like it.

 

joshwolftree

Part of the Furniture Now
Just for reference I'm 30. My dad absolutely hated that I smoked cigs, I've since given them up (mostly) for my pipes. when I visited with the cigs and went out to light one he would tell me to air out before I came back in because because I stank of cigarette smoke. My grandfather (his dad) smoked a pipe his whole life. When I go out to smoke now(I still can't smoke in their house) he grabs the leash and me and him take the dog for a walk. We're also planning on spending some time cleaning out his garage so we can A: find his old tools and B: have some workspace so we can C: take some old lumber he's had laying around to make a pipe rack or two.

Now granted around my dad I only smoke tobaccos with a decent or even pleasant room note rather than my "blow out the sinuses" English and Balkan blends.

I think smoking a pipe actually helped give me and my dad more to do together. And mom wants me to come up more often because the only time he bothers to take a walk with the dog,instead of just letting it out back, is when he and I are walking together. So all in all it's better for me than the cigs and, it's better for him because it gives us an excuse to get up from the tv and go outside.

Just don't tell mom I don't use filters :lol:

 

gray4lines

Part of the Furniture Now
Nov 6, 2012
679
2
KY
bobpnm I recently went to my first appointment for my first ever physical.... [The Dr.] asked me if I had tried Frog Morten Cellar? Told him I love it! He asked me where I found it? He as been wanting to try it.
That is phenominal!
Also, Josh your comment reminded me... My dad used to always tell me, "If you ever smoke I'll whoop your ass!" He was referring to cigarettes mostly, and he was so adament about it because I was born premature and could not breathe on my own (so I am told).
20 years later...My dad bought me a box of Arturo Fuente Hemmingways for a wedding/bachelor's present and he laughed about his always saying he whoop me, but now he's supplying the smokes! We have occasionally smoked a cigar together. He does not like them like I do, but we have still bonded over them, and they have absolutely provided us more opportunities to just sit around and talk.
On another note, I have had dad's old cherrywood poker sitting around in my room for the past 15 years. He apparently tried smoking a pipe, but thought that it made his tongue feel like a "brillo pad" lol! I know that feeling... I need to go back home and get that pipe to clean up and use!

 

yazamitaz

Lifer
Mar 1, 2013
1,757
1
Great list Kashmir, I am also going to use that.
Rookie - At least it sounds like you have a great relationship with your parents and this isn't a "my way or the highway" kind of ultimatum. There is mutual respect and love, and that is VERY healthy. As young adults we do things that our parents may not endorse because in their mind it may harm you. You are blessed that they notice and care. Stand your ground but be respectful. Who knows, perhaps on graduation day you may have a beautiful piece of briar waiting for you at the house.
Good luck

 
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