Take a cigar and completely flatten it between two boards and use a screw jack or bottle jack and press those boards together against some immovable object until you can't press it anymore. You could make a kind of gantry too. Make sure the boards are really sturdy timbers. Let it sit six weeks. After that time use a razor sharp knife and cut it with using a chiffonade technique and width wise. Then trim up anything too long then load the pipe and smoke it.