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timpiper

Starting to Get Obsessed
May 31, 2013
101
111
Australia
Here's a funny review for five brothers -
My Father-in-Law smoked this stuff, so I think he was trying to get rid of me when he gave me a pouch to try. I usually smoke Prince Albert, and E.A. Carey's blends.
When I opened the pouch, the aroma took over the environment. My cat hissed and arched her back (they really can detect evil....). All the house plants died...even the plastic ones. The room note was classic peat bog.
As I took a deep breath and filled my pipe, it was squirming in my hand, trying to get away. I should've stopped right there. It lit easily, unfortunately. After my first puff, my whole life flashed in front of my eyes...it was very depressing.... Have you ever smelled the peat that nightcrawlers are in when you buy a carton of them at a bait store? That was what this tasted and smelled like, with a little burly thrown in for camouflage. I experienced major vertigo, so it was a good thing I was sitting down. After the second puff...just before I passed out, I had visions of guys in Environmental suits placing my pipe, and this tobacco in ziplock bags, and decontaminating the house.
Seriously, this is the absolute worst...whatever it is, I have ever tried to smoke. It really does taste like worm-dirt, with some cow-chips mixed in, and smells even worse. It is strong enough to floor a Water Buffalo. I really did have to throw the pipe away, carefully....I could never get the smell or taste out of my DIplomat, even after repeated cleanings with pipe sweetener.
I could only manage a few puffs of this before putting it out. I couldn't smoke it long enough to tell if it burned hot, or not.
You should have to have a license from the EPA to even sell this stuff. I would definitely advise anyone to avoid this 'blend' at all costs, unless you are on some kind of macho-trip, or really into self-mutilation. I smoke for pleasure, and I have nothing to prove.
Cheers
Tim

 
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timpiper

Starting to Get Obsessed
May 31, 2013
101
111
Australia
Another fun review for five brothers -
Looking for that "drugstore" blend? A blast from the past? A bit of nostalgia? Need an ass kicking? These boys will open a six pack of whoop ass like you haven't experienced in a good long while. Made up the road in Loovul, KY.
I remember the old geezers smoking this stuff when it came in a paper pouch. Just the smell put me on one knee. When I first smoked it, it put me on both knees. They had to rock my head back and forth to get my lips unstuck from the bathroom tiles. Crikey!
This is some serious stuff, especially if you're a twelve year old boy.
Forty years later and it still hasn't learned any manners. How you can tell if it's fresh or not escapes me.
"Mind if I smoke?"
"Not at all. Mind if I puke?"
Made when men were men, and sheep were terrified.
Cheers -Tim

 
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timpiper

Starting to Get Obsessed
May 31, 2013
101
111
Australia
From a Pipestud review of 30 year old Yachtsman plug.
"Although not certain, I think I may have managed a full bowl before sliding off the couch onto the floor. My oldest son (twice my size) said he then carted me off to my bedroom after wiping sweat off my forehead and drool from my mouth."
Cheers -Tim

 
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Jan 8, 2013
7,493
736
Here's a good one for Captain Black Cherry
"This blend is infamously terrible. Here's why: It burns too damn hot, and it doesn't taste like any cherry I've ever tasted. Then again, I've never had cherries dipped in Antifreeze. This blend is extremely shaggy cut ribbons of brown paper doused in what I'm pretty sure is brake fluid, with a little cherry extract. Smokes hotter than the Devil's dong, and tastes absolutely horrid on its own. Mix a little bit of this with some black Cavendish though, and you have yourself a marginally tolerable sweet, (but still acrid) smoking tobacco. If you can't stand someone's cooking and are too embarrassed to tell them, smoke a few miserable bowls of this crap. You could take a bite out of a tire (wire mesh and all) and not give a God damn after just one volcano bowl of this "Tobacco," and I am being VERY generous calling it "Tobacco." I'd be better off smoking the bag it came in. However, with as much disdain as I have for this blend, I will give credit where it's due. I can say this: It smells absolutely wonderful, burning or not. This would make an excellent potpourri or incense. Very strong, noticeable cherry scent. It's as if a cherry tree raped you in the nose. Good for just sitting in a big room and making it smell nice, but not much else."
:rofl:

 
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uperepik

(Oldtown)
Mar 8, 2017
533
15
This is for Peterson 3P on luxurytobaccoreviews.com
Not for me!
I'm sure there are many that love this plug. Taste is a very subjective thing and to each his own. I do not love this plug. I found the taste to be most foul. My best description of this tobacco would be to ask the smoker to imagine what lawn clippings and chopped up rubber bands would taste like smoked in a pipe. I've smoked for thirty five years and this is one of the few tins of tobacco I've tossed in the trash. A two dollar plug of Day's Work chewing tobacco prepaired for the pipe would surely provide a tastier smoke.

 
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bigpond

Lifer
Oct 14, 2014
2,019
14
only after I fell off my horse, she dropped a meadow muffin on me then kicked me a few times for good measure.
I know the feeling. This happened to me one year at summer camp when I mistook the name of the horse nobody wanted to ride for Satin...of course this fella had two A's, and not an A. and an I

 
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jvnshr

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 4, 2015
4,617
3,896
Baku, Azerbaijan
OK I know this is a really long review ... but it still stands as the most hilarious one I've ever read so I'm posting it in it's entirety:
Tinsel I read that review while smoking the EMP for the first time, whenever I smoke EMP, automatically I remember that particular review.

 
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