Best Blend of 2023: An Elimination Game

[Servant King]

I vote to deduct one point from each leading Stokkebye.

Living:
Anomalous - Sutliff - 15
Brown Twist #4 - SG - 8
Luxury Navy Flake - Peter Stokkebye - 23
Squadron Leader - SG - 8
Golden Sliced - Orlik - 11
Red Virginia - Robert McConnell - 11
Dockworker - HU - 13
Oriental Silk - C&D - 13
Rouxgaroux - WCC - 14
Ennerdale - GH - 22
1989 - Erik Stokkebye - 24
Full Virginia Flake - SG - 19
Rich Dark Honeydew - GH - 15
Bob's Chocolate Flake - GH - 14
Black - Sillem's - 17
American Cut Plug - Watch City - 9
Skiff Mixture - SG - 15
Flake - Peterson (Dunhill) - 12
Lancer Slices - F&K - 10
Wintertime Flake - SG - 13
Dark Bird's Eye - GH - 20

Deceased:
Grape - Captain Black
Match 20 - Sutliff
Hogshead - Seattle Pipe Club
Royal - Captain Black
Royal Yacht - Peterson
Exclusive - C&D
Stratfordshire - C&D
Mixture #79 - Sutliff
Aged Burley Flake - Solani
From Beyond - C&D
Pegasus - C&D
Holly's Non Plus Ultra - Dan
Dorchester - Esoterica
No. 69 - Peter Henrichs
Maple Shadows - Sutliff

Dorchester finally took its dramatic exit, narrowly surviving day after day just to be picked off almost anti-climactically, as though it was the subject of a Martin Scorsese flick. No. 69, it seems, was a mere victim of circumstance, an expendable and easy target. Maple Shadows, however, must've insulted somebody's mama because this blend was straight jumped. After being stabbed repeatedly until it breathed its last, @rsshreck32 stabbed him again anyhow.

The Stokkebye blends, alongside Ennerdale, now present quite the dilemma. They're delicious, but they represent what Bernie Sanders might call the "one pah-zent!" and they're likely to catch animosity for their very existence at the top of the food chain. This may not be an eat-the-rick kind of thread, but we're likely to smoke 'em.

[Originally, I was going to make a Jeffrey Epstein island joke about how these blends may appear untouchable for the moment but there's bound to be some unwanted touching on the horizon. However, the joke seemed insensitive if not offensive and I decided against employing it.]

The joke is both good and relevant. It'd have been a shame to have never let it see the light of day, even demoted as it was to a sidebar. The mention of Bernie Sanders' name (who was probably an island guest himself) is far more offensive.

I don't understand the Stokkebye hate, quite frankly. I'm inclined to think that the burley snobs are just programmed to lash out at anything that doesn't taste like Miracle-Gro mix. What surprised me is how quickly Hogshead got fed to the hogs. I would imagine there will be several more surprises before this game concludes itself.

@rsshreck32 that knife is for breaking up plugs, not for stabbing dying blends. Have some class!

 

[Leomania]

Squadron Leader -2

 

[cshubhra]

PS Luxury Navy Flake -2

 

[andrew]

Captain black grape +1

 

[rsshreck32]

The joke is both good and relevant. It'd have been a shame to have never let it see the light of day, even demoted as it was to a sidebar. The mention of Bernie Sanders' name (who was probably an island guest himself) is far more offensive.

I don't understand the Stokkebye hate, quite frankly. I'm inclined to think that the burley snobs are just programmed to lash out at anything that doesn't taste like Miracle-Gro mix. What surprised me is how quickly Hogshead got fed to the hogs. I would imagine there will be several more surprises before this game concludes itself.

@rsshreck32 that knife is for breaking up plugs, not for stabbing dying blends. Have some class!

I thought I saw it twitch...

 

[rsshreck32]

And if Maple Shadows was already dead...I'll go PSLNF -2

 

[jbfrady]

And if Maple Shadows was already dead...I'll go PSLNF -2

you killed it with one and had one to spare

 

[Winnipeger]

I vote to deduct one point from each leading Stokkebye.

Living:
Anomalous - Sutliff - 15
Brown Twist #4 - SG - 8
Luxury Navy Flake - Peter Stokkebye - 23
Squadron Leader - SG - 8
Golden Sliced - Orlik - 11
Red Virginia - Robert McConnell - 11
Dockworker - HU - 13
Oriental Silk - C&D - 13
Rouxgaroux - WCC - 14
Ennerdale - GH - 22
1989 - Erik Stokkebye - 24
Full Virginia Flake - SG - 19
Rich Dark Honeydew - GH - 15
Bob's Chocolate Flake - GH - 14
Black - Sillem's - 17
American Cut Plug - Watch City - 9
Skiff Mixture - SG - 15
Flake - Peterson (Dunhill) - 12
Lancer Slices - F&K - 10
Wintertime Flake - SG - 13
Dark Bird's Eye - GH - 20

Deceased:
Grape - Captain Black
Match 20 - Sutliff
Hogshead - Seattle Pipe Club
Royal - Captain Black
Royal Yacht - Peterson
Exclusive - C&D
Stratfordshire - C&D
Mixture #79 - Sutliff
Aged Burley Flake - Solani
From Beyond - C&D
Pegasus - C&D
Holly's Non Plus Ultra - Dan
Dorchester - Esoterica
No. 69 - Peter Henrichs
Maple Shadows - Sutliff

Dorchester finally took its dramatic exit, narrowly surviving day after day just to be picked off almost anti-climactically, as though it was the subject of a Martin Scorsese flick. No. 69, it seems, was a mere victim of circumstance, an expendable and easy target. Maple Shadows, however, must've insulted somebody's mama because this blend was straight jumped. After being stabbed repeatedly until it breathed its last, @rsshreck32 stabbed him again anyhow.

The Stokkebye blends, alongside Ennerdale, now present quite the dilemma. They're delicious, but they represent what Bernie Sanders might call the "one pah-zent!" and they're likely to catch animosity for their very existence at the top of the food chain. This may not be an eat-the-rick kind of thread, but we're likely to smoke 'em.

[Originally, I was going to make a Jeffrey Epstein island joke about how these blends may appear untouchable for the moment but there's bound to be some unwanted touching on the horizon. However, the joke seemed insensitive if not offensive and I decided against employing it.]

 

[Winnipeger]

the burley snobs are just programmed to lash out at anything that doesn't taste like Miracle-Gro mix

Bingo.

 

[Servant King]

I thought I saw it twitch...

You could've just cube-cut a corner to verify if it was playing dead or not.

This is why we can't have nice things...

 

[seanv]

Silems black -2

 

[sablebrush52]

[Originally, I was going to make a Jeffrey Epstein island joke about how these blends may appear untouchable for the moment but there's bound to be some unwanted touching on the horizon. However, the joke seemed insensitive if not offensive and I decided against employing it.]

I admire your restraint.

 

[Duck]

PSLNF -2

 

[AcesAndEights]

Brown twist -2

 

[Bbailey324]

Sillems Black -2

 

[Jbrewer2002]

Squadron Leader -2

 

[rick3wood]

American Cut Plug - Watch City -2

 

[Servant King]

PSLNF +2

 

[mingc]

Ennerdale +
Brown No. 4 -

 

[Winnipeger]

the burley snobs are just programmed to lash out at anything that doesn't taste like Miracle-Gro mix.

Oh yeah...

PSLNF -2