You have transcended.
Being a Codger is Hard
- Thread starter cosmicfolklore
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I am not old by any metric other than my own yet, so I can't claim any hardship related to age. Well, these gray hairs are alarming, but anyway. I do look forward to the days when I can wax poetical about the inexorable march of time like ol' Cosmic.
But that don't mean I can't plan ahead! I've already got a gun for porch sits! Now I just need a bird dog, some half and half and one of those corn cob pipes the kids are so crazy about these days. And, say by the looks of Cosmic's avatar I'd reckon about another sixty years of hard livin'!
Now get off my lawn...
But that don't mean I can't plan ahead! I've already got a gun for porch sits! Now I just need a bird dog, some half and half and one of those corn cob pipes the kids are so crazy about these days. And, say by the looks of Cosmic's avatar I'd reckon about another sixty years of hard livin'!
Now get off my lawn...
I first started noticing it with my stepdad, then my grandfather. The frequent talk of the weather, whether the forecasts were wrong (usually, in their opinions!) and what their backyard weather stations were measuring. The thing is, I find those weather stations kind of cool now, and I am starting to get more interested in meteorology. Hopefully the condition doesn't progress to the point where I am complaining about the weather while living in the place that has among the nicest and mildest weather on the entire planet, or start talking about how the meteorologists on TV don't know anything. ?
I swear my Granddad checked his rain gauge multiple times a day... even when the sky was clear. I always thought I might prank him, but I never did.
Hell, I can tell the weather in every bone I’ve broken over the years. If I pop and crackle, it’s a 50% chance of rain. If the get in my get-a-long starts waiverin’ then get the dogs in the small hall bathroom. 
My pipes tend to have dirty rims. This is classic codger since our close vision deteriorates and we aren't really sure if the match is over the tobacco or not.
On the bright side of codger........ I no longer have road-rage. I can drive and just shake my head hoping they don't kill anyone and feeling sorry for the passenger. Quite the change from pulling over and realizing "THAT GUY IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN ME 
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That's a good enough reason to be driving an International Harvester Commercial Pickup Truck. Even the guys threatening other drivers with their hummers are nothing but a bump under your wheels.On the bright side of codger........ I no longer have road-rage. I can drive and just shake my head hoping they don't kill anyone and feeling sorry for the passenger. Quite the change from pulling over and realizing "THAT GUY IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN ME
Speaking of clothing...
When I was much younger I used to be one of those Metal Snobs. Basically if you hadn't heard whatever ancient NWOBHM band I had chosen to embarrass you with, you were nothing. Less than nothing. If you didn't listen to Immortal or Mayhem or Carpathian Forest you were a discarded condom in a back alley in a shady part of town. I used to have hair down to my ass, big spiked bracelets, rings. You name it. And I used to look down my nose at branded fashion.
Now that I listen to Alabama and Diamond Rio, I've come to realize I was just as much a fashionista as the guys in their polo shirts and plaited slacks. I still love me some Dimmu Borgir and I still own a few Iron Maiden shirts, but well... I am perfectly okay sharing pics of my dinosaurs in Santa hats pants. I'll wear them Crocs. They look comfy. I wear a vest now for pockets, not patches.
When I was much younger I used to be one of those Metal Snobs. Basically if you hadn't heard whatever ancient NWOBHM band I had chosen to embarrass you with, you were nothing. Less than nothing. If you didn't listen to Immortal or Mayhem or Carpathian Forest you were a discarded condom in a back alley in a shady part of town. I used to have hair down to my ass, big spiked bracelets, rings. You name it. And I used to look down my nose at branded fashion.
Now that I listen to Alabama and Diamond Rio, I've come to realize I was just as much a fashionista as the guys in their polo shirts and plaited slacks. I still love me some Dimmu Borgir and I still own a few Iron Maiden shirts, but well... I am perfectly okay sharing pics of my dinosaurs in Santa hats pants. I'll wear them Crocs. They look comfy. I wear a vest now for pockets, not patches.
My wife was recently telling me crocs are bad... I never knew. Hell, I thought they were stylish.
The best part of age is learning that the race everyone told you was important to win was nonsense and discovering you have already won the only race worth winning.
One thing I've noticed after too many years of doing routine chores, I've developed "a certain way" of doing things that seems important, but I know it isn't. Like loading the trash cart. Put trash in, push cart to curb. But I want the heavy stuff (cat litter bags) in the bottom to push out the lighter stuff, so it empties completely and doesn't dump light stuff on the ground. I won't go into more detail, though there's more detail. My wife's that way about packing the refrigerator and freezer. I'll never get it right. Over time, you just learn too much about small tasks until they rise to the complexity of a nuclear reactor. Then there's feeding the cats. You don't want to know about the details of feeding the cats.
Sex? What's that? Sitting on front porch smoking pipe doesn't require so much joint movements. Lately noticed, along with falling asleep on front porch with lit pipe, I'm starting to drool. I wake myself up by sense of something crawling on my chin and it wasn't a bug.
My head is full of rap and metal and electronic noise.
I realized that some measure of maturity had caught up when I had to begrudgingly recognize that Neil Diamond IS a great American singer songwriter.
I realized that some measure of maturity had caught up when I had to begrudgingly recognize that Neil Diamond IS a great American singer songwriter.
I had to look up the lyrics (that's a sign of something).
I've watched the summer evenings pass by
I've heard the rattle in my bronchi
That choked me up.
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