An erudite thread!
Dry, dry, dry! That the heel is wet is one clue that the tobacco is too moist.
Chasing has it right: draw the flame to NEAR- not on- the tobacco. The superheated air off the tip is plenty hot enough to ignite the tobacco.
I've never had a problem with removing the stem, be it hot, cold or in-between. Then again, I don't remove it unless necessary.