As a teenager I liked girls, but the only talent I had really was singing like Lefty Frizzell, which even then wasn’t popular with the Brady Bunch generation.
So I learned to roller skate, and I discovered it really wasn’t that hard to be the best boy on skates in the roller rink.
I bought a good pair of skates, and white bell bottom jeans, and whatever polyester shirts were the latest style, and learned to skate backwards.
After that, when there was a dance contest at the roller rink I could pick out a very pretty little girl who was a crackerjack good skater and she’d invariably want to skate with the best boy skater there.
There was a girl named Tina, an old grandma today but not then, who asked me to enter a dance contest with her and we won, and she sat with my mother, and they became buddies, and I suppose Tina was my first sort of girlfriend.
Then one of my friend’s sisters named Kim, decided to ask me to dance and she was just as good as Tina at skating and even more friendly and my mother liked Kim even better.
As Kim and I would skate past Tina, I could see Tina crying and I was sorry for her, until another girl who was a friend of Tina’s skated up to me, and she slapped me really hard and knocked my glasses off.
She said that’s from Tina,
And me too, you %#*^{* because you never asked me to dance!
At which point Kim came out to fight the girl that slapped me, and the referee came over and kicked me out of the rink for the evening, because I was causing all the trouble.
I sat there with my mother, and watched the girl that slapped me come around, and she’d wink at me, and my mother said she’s really pretty isn’t she, and she surely was.
The reason the Bible is true, is that Adam no doubt would have taken a bite of that apple.
Women are our downfall.
Most of the time, I think they know that, you know?
Here’s to the girls at the roller rink, of long ago
Knock Three Times