A Pipe Smokers Story by PM.Com Members 12/22/2019

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tokerpipes

Preferred Member
Jan 16, 2012
1,994
531
41
Eatonville, WA
34’ ford 3 window coupe. It stopped right in front of him.
Jim slowly lowered the cob from his mouth slack jawed as the passenger door opened he saw...
 
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tokerpipes

Preferred Member
Jan 16, 2012
1,994
531
41
Eatonville, WA
Billy Gibbons, lead singer for ZZ Fucking Top, smoking an Al Pacia church warden. He turned the radio down (freaking opera music). He said , “is that mixture 79? “
Jim shook his head loosely awe struck.
“Got any more, I just ran out?” explained Billy.
Jim rumaged through his overalls and found the rest of the bag he had just bought.
“Thanks brother, need a ride?” Billy asked...
 

brian64

Preferred Member
Jan 31, 2011
6,150
2,579
Please excuse the momentary interruption...this is all quite fascinating...but just for the sake of clarity, as I attempt to follow all of this:

Why was he riding a 10 speed?

What in the hell are "Can’t Bust Ums"?

Immediately after suffering severe facial trauma he buys a cob?

Were either the B&M clerk or Billy Gibbons concerned about the condition of his face?

What happened to the Rouxgaroux?
 
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B.Fee

Member
Nov 28, 2019
150
1,333
Honolulu
Please excuse the momentary interruption...this is all quite fascinating...but just for the sake of clarity, as I attempt to follow all of this:

Why was he riding a 10 speed?

What in the hell are "Can’t Bust Ums"?

Immediately after suffering severe facial trauma he buys a cob?

Were either the B&M clerk or Billy Gibbons concerned about the condition of his face?

What happened to the Rouxgaroux?
And what about Naomi?
 

seanv

Preferred Member
Mar 22, 2018
1,434
1,398
Canada
Billy Gibbons, lead singer for ZZ Fucking Top, smoking an Al Pacia church warden. He turned the radio down (freaking opera music). He said , “is that mixture 79? “
Jim shook his head loosely awe struck.
“Got any more, I just ran out?” explained Billy.
Jim rumaged through his overalls and found the rest of the bag he had just bought.
“Thanks brother, need a ride?” Billy asked...
Od course I do jim replied.
Where are we headed Billy asked....
 
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timt

Preferred Member
Jul 19, 2018
1,196
1,173
"If it's alright with you, I'd like to head over to Walmart for a new Zippo, ten speed and some fresh duds, these are toast." But before Billy could answer, Jim saw something out of the corner of his one good eye. "Is that what I think it is? Is that really a .....?"
 
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peregrinus

Preferred Member
Aug 4, 2019
597
1,137
Seattle
an elf ?
Swearing softly under his breath, Billy quickly drew his new Colt, single action army, chambered in .45 long Colt and...
 
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rogers

Preferred Member
Mar 9, 2012
738
2,054
and Jim thought to himself, "Man, I really need to lay off that strong ass coffee, crap's got me seeing things."

"Ruff ruff!"

"Wait, don't shoot! That's my dog, Bastion!"

"Bastard?"

"No, Bastion! What's the matter, rock music makes you deaf?"

"What?"

"Never mind! How 'bout that ride to Walmart?"

Jim, Bastion and Billy .....
 

seanv

Preferred Member
Mar 22, 2018
1,434
1,398
Canada
and Jim thought to himself, "Man, I really need to lay off that strong ass coffee, crap's got me seeing things."

"Ruff ruff!"

"Wait, don't shoot! That's my dog, Bastion!"

"Bastard?"

"No, Bastion! What's the matter, rock music makes you deaf?"

"What?"

"Never mind! How 'bout that ride to Walmart?"

Jim, Bastion and Billy .....
Arrive at Walmart and see the fire dept has the area taped off. Someone set the local Walmart on fire. They turn the car and see....
 
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jaytex969

Preferred Member
Jun 6, 2017
5,435
6,928
Here
...a man in a Pipes Magazine t-shirt, covered in soot and accelerant, running from the man and clenching a gourd calabash. "I was only trying to light that damned Gawith flake!", his scream trailed off as he put distance behind him.

Walmart and a Zippo no longer an option, they.....


13224
 
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tokerpipes

Preferred Member
Jan 16, 2012
1,994
531
41
Eatonville, WA
Sat in the car miffed.

Finally Billy spoke and said, “Ever been to Reno? I got some credit at one of the casinos there we can get you some new duds.”

Jim thinks to himself (well this story couldn’t get much crazier) and said, “sure why not, but can we change the radio station first?”

Billy agreed and put a cd in the player. “Check out this demo me and the boys are working on.”
The little hot rod smoked it’s tires as the three of them put some miles between them and the firestorm that was now the Walmart.
 
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rogers

Preferred Member
Mar 9, 2012
738
2,054
Moments later, cruising down the highway and smoking the last bit of tobacco...
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..
"Crap, it's the cops," says Billy.
"What? Were you speeding?" asked Jm.
"I don't think so," says Billy as he pulls onto the shoulder and stops, the squad car pulling up behind them.
Billy rolls down the window as the officer approaches.....
 

timt

Preferred Member
Jul 19, 2018
1,196
1,173
.... Jim hears a loud thumping and yelling from the trunk. WTF thought Jim. Billy floors it and....
 
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tokerpipes

Preferred Member
Jan 16, 2012
1,994
531
41
Eatonville, WA
The cop pulls his revolver and squeezes off 3 rounds aiming at the tires, missing each time. He scrambles back to the cruiser and the pursuit is on.

“Billy what the hell did you get me involved in?”, screamed Jim.

Bastion started barking and growling at the noise coming from the trunk.
 
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timt

Preferred Member
Jul 19, 2018
1,196
1,173
Suddenly, Jim's blood ran cold as he remembered something. When Billy first arrived after his bike accident, he got out of the passenger door. So, who the hell was driving the car and where are they now? Jim demanded Billy tell him who was in the trunk. After a bit, Billy confessed, "it's pipesmagazine forum member ashdigger".

Oh shit! No wonder he hasn't been posting lately. He's been with Billy. During the chaos at Walmart, Billy had managed to bind ashdigger and throw him in the trunk. But why???
 

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