A Festivus For The Rest Of Us

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

UPDATE:

The administrators have decided that it would be too much hassle to send free stuff to Canada. Australians and Europeans will still be reciving free stuff.

Maybe next year if Canada has been granted it's statehood, we'll be able to include them.

Thank you for your attention to this matter, and Som Bish.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Enjoy a seasonal poem:


In lands of snow, where Mounties ride with pride,
A festive plea to leave the cold outside.
But Seinfeld's fete, with grievances to air,
Declared a ban on those with maple flair.
No poutine pies near the aluminum pole,
No "eh" allowed, no matter how the soul
Of Festivus demands a full display,
Until the 51st you're seen today.
The Airing starts, the Feats of Strength draw nigh,
While distant Canucks watch the low-bar fly.
A rigorous standard, arbitrary rule,
To keep the great white North outside the school.
So save your grievances 'til that distant date,
When Canada is deemed a proper state.
Until that time, your Festivus is mute,
A state of being banned from this pursuit.

 

[brian64]

Enjoy a seasonal poem:


In lands of snow, where Mounties ride with pride,
A festive plea to leave the cold outside.
But Seinfeld's fete, with grievances to air,
Declared a ban on those with maple flair.
No poutine pies near the aluminum pole,
No "eh" allowed, no matter how the soul
Of Festivus demands a full display,
Until the 51st you're seen today.
The Airing starts, the Feats of Strength draw nigh,
While distant Canucks watch the low-bar fly.
A rigorous standard, arbitrary rule,
To keep the great white North outside the school.
So save your grievances 'til that distant date,
When Canada is deemed a proper state.
Until that time, your Festivus is mute,
A state of being banned from this pursuit.

I actually teared up a little reading that. Surely it will be the high mark of this thread.

 

[timt]

Powerful stuff. May we all take time to reflect and fully take it in.

 

[brian64]

Powerful stuff. May we all take time to reflect and fully take it in.

Amen.

A true poem like that counts as a dozen feats of strength in the face of such unprovoked Canadian sarcasm.

How could anyone not take Festivus seriously after this?

 

[Brendan]

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Lloyd Braun is Canadian as well.

Well, as an Australian and non-Canadian person I'm eternally grateful for the free Waterpik coming my way.

Hoo.Chee.Mama

 

[Servant King]

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Lloyd Braun is Canadian as well.

Well, as an Australian and non-Canadian person I'm eternally grateful for the free Waterpik coming my way.

Hoo.Chee.Mama

Australian now...Canadian later!

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Lloyd Braun is Canadian as well.

Hoo.Chee.Mama

#1 Rule of Festivus:

Never let facts influence your world view.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

 

[Hillcrest]

 

[TN Jed]

If somebody sends me cargo socks I'm in.

 

[renfield]

How about a manzier?

 

[TN Jed]

I prefer the brah.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

 

[Servant King]

View attachment 437629

Come on, Funk! There are children perusing this thread!! Let's have a little holiday decency here...

Show the shot where Frank is facing forward, fer cryin' out loud!

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Come on, Funk! There are children perusing this thread!! Let's have a little holiday decency here...

Show the shot where Frank is facing forward, fer cryin' out loud!

To be honest, that whole episode makes me uncomfortable.

And that's supposed to be a gif of George and his mom walking in.

But it's not working on my screen.

 

[AcesAndEights]

 

[brian64]

I prefer the brah.

Bro...not brah...it's a BRO!

 

[brian64]

Well, page 4 sure has fallen a long way from the lofty, inspirational anti-Canadian poetry it started with.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]