Pipe Smokers Etiquette

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So, you are out and about in the wild, and you come upon another pipe smoker. Sure, your excited. "Look, another pipe smoker. Let me go bond."

Ok, these are based upon me out minding my own business over the years, smoking my pipe, and the stupid things grown assed men have walked up to me to say.

Do not...

...ask to hold another man's pipe. I have no idea why this is the most common thing another pipesmoker has asked me. The thought has NEVER run through my mind to ask another man if I could touch, much less hold his pipe. My first reaction to hearing this is to just punch the asshole in the face.

...ask, "What kinds of pipes do you like?" When asked this, I am not sure how to respond, except with "What do you mean?" Then they look more confused than me, probably because they are idiots.

...ask "Want to try my tobacco?" NO, I don't know you. Maybe you treat your tobaccos nasty, or mix drugs in with it. It is a little different if I am at a pipe show, but even then I have packed some nasty shit in my pipe at pipe shows. Like right as I am lighting the pipe, the guys goes... "I mixed Altoids into it." In which I just casually walk over to a garbage can and scrape my pipe out into it.
If you have just casually walked up onto me as I am out smoking, I DO NOT want to discard what I am currently smoking to try your Whatchamacallit.

...ask "Do you smoke here often?" It sounds like you are trying to pick me up. And, while I am flattered that you'd want to date me, the very idea disgusts me.

Most likely, these people I have encountered are just morons. I have met other pipesmokers that just casually set down and start smoking their own pipes. Maybe a slight nod of acknowledgement.

And, don't be surprised if you see another pipe smoker, and when they see you walking up quickly trying to light your own pipe like an amature or blowing big clouds of smoke, and they just turn and skirt off quickly. I've seen guys coming at me like a freight train, and my first thought is to just get the F away as quickly as possible.

Don't ask me questions. You are asking me to take my pipe out of my mouth, and that is the last thing I want to do. If you got something to tell me, fire away, but don't expect me to engage in the conversation.

Also, don't blow big clouds of smoke. If you want to look like you have no freaking idea what you are doing, just blow a big cloud. To me it is like hearing someone grinding gears. It shows that this is probably your first time to ever smoke a pipe.

What are some etiquette things you guys can think of... discuss...
 
I did have a guy who became adamant about buying the pipe I was smoking. I was setting on my tailgate smoking on a cool autumn day, while my wife was grocery shopping, and a guy walks up and starts in on "how much is that pipe worth?" He seemed otherwise a normal guy. But, then he started in on, "$100?" "Will you take "$75?"
I just knocked my pipe out and went to find my wife in the grocery store. "Honey, you won't believe what this idiot was asking me in the parking lot..."
I don't even know if this guy was a pipe smoker.
 
I’ll speak to pretty much anyone, when smoking or not. Happy to give them the time of day.
Alright, so if you see someone reading a newspaper, do you just walk up and interrupt him and start asking him questions? Or, if you see someone reading a book?
Smoking a pipe is the same way. You force the person to remove their pipe and engage you. It's sort of rude. If I want to talk, I'll remove my pipe and introduce myself. If I just want to smoke and enjoy my smoke, I'll avoid eye contact.
 
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