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What's The Manliest Pipe Shape?

(73 posts)
  • Started 3 years ago by fearsclave
  • Latest reply from warren
  1. fearsclave

    fearsclave

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    Got inspired by this thread to dial the discussion up to even less serious levels: http://pipesmagazine.com/forums/topic/matching-the-pipe-to-the-face

    What, in your opinion, is the manliest pipe shape? Discuss.

    I'd vote for the Bulldog, on the basis of name alone, with cobs as a runnerup, on the basis of simplicity and homeliness.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  2. mso489

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    I'll go with the bulldog, both for a sturdy no-nonsense look and very wide acceptability and popularity. Pots and pokers have a stolid, sturdy look, but as we have heard in recent threads, are not as widely loved.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  3. sdcowboy

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    I have to agree. I think the straight bulldog is the manliest looking pipe.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  4. newbroom

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    Let me see, now....manly. Manly.
    [url=http://punch.photoshelter.com/img/pixel.gif]manly[/url]

    Posted 3 years ago #
  5. jpmcwjr

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    Sure, bulldog, but it has to be beaten up, preferably with mountain lion claw marks.

    I know that you believe you understood what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
    Posted 3 years ago #
  6. mothernaturewilleatusallforbreakfast

    mothernature

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    I'd have to say the long-shanks; canadians, liverpoools, lumbermans, and lovats. I suppose I say this because these tend to be my favorite shapes and I can only imagine that most people think, "now there's a man", when they see me smoking a pipe.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  7. markthelad

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    Bulldogs, pokers, apples and billiards (in that order) are in my mind the manliest pipe shapes. I am also partial to bent pipes, I think it imparts a more gentlemanly (maybe sophisticated?) look. Claw marks definitely help, lol!

    "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
    Johnny Carson
    Posted 3 years ago #
  8. michaelmirza

    Michael Mirza

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    Considering that "manly" is a socially constructed adjective, the manliest shape is whatever pipe shape a person who happens to be a man is smoking.

    Sometimes I take pictures: http://instagram.com/michael_mirza
    Posted 3 years ago #
  9. mso489

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    Canadian shape and other long-shanked pipes are far and away the most stately shapes, but for macho, the dogs have it, for me.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  10. jpmcwjr

    jpmcwjr

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    Dogs with no pedigree, no chance at Westminster Kennel Show! Dogs with scruffy coats, torn dewclaws, a limp, and a few scars around the jowls. And a fearsome snarl.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  11. sablebrush52

    sablebrush52

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    Clearly, it's the ballerina shape.

    It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain

    It is pointless to argue with a fanatic since a dim bulb can't be converted into a searchlight. - Jesse Silver
    Posted 3 years ago #
  12. chasingembers

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    Rugged, sandblasted freehands with plateau crowns. Bulldogs just look too refined.

    I like coffee exceedingly.
    - H. P. Lovecraft
    Posted 3 years ago #
  13. freakiefrog

    freakiefrog

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    The Devil Anse or a good thick short poker.

    I have some friends, some honest friends, and honest friends are few; My pipe of briar, my open fire, A book that's not too new.
    Robert W. Service
    Posted 3 years ago #
  14. draco

    draco

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    I kind of like the rusticated Author for a manly pipe, also a good sized 3/4 bent rusticated can look good.

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    aldecaker

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    A thick, stubby bulldog.

    A man who serves his country is a patriot. A man who serves his government is an employee. The two are not always the same thing.
    Posted 3 years ago #
  16. edgreen

    edgreen

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    Long and thick, with a nice curve, then the poker.

    Tobacco's a musician.And in a pipe delighteth;It descends in a close,Through the organ of the nose, With a relish that inviteth.
    Barten Holiday
    Posted 3 years ago #
  17. cosmicfolklore

    Cosmic

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    This sissy crap again! I thought that we all agreed that only someone who is questioning themselves would worry about looking manly, because a real man wouldn't worry about such prissy priss stuff like "what they look like." A real man just grabs a pipe, when they want a pipe, and doesn't worry about whether they have exposed their inner fru fru sissy pants.
    The least many thing in the world is worrying about what is manly. A real man just "is."

    Michael
    Posted 3 years ago #
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    aldecaker

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    Still the bulldog.

    Posted 3 years ago #
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    shutterbugg

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    What, in your opinion, is the manliest pipe shape?

    I see some irony in asking what is the manliest-looking phallis we can put in our mouth and suck on for pleasure.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  20. samcoffeeman

    samcoffeeman

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    Bulldog only sounds manly. The manliest pipe shape is the standard billiard. All the manly pipe smokers smoked billiard shapes, it's the classic man pipe.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  21. lifesizehobbit

    lifesizehobbit

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    Anything with claw marks and skulls.

    Dave "Black Frigate Stowaway"
    Posted 3 years ago #
  22. cigrmaster

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    Bulldogs are half a bowl in height, short and stubby, and painfully ugly, which is why I have non in my collection.

    Manly pipes look like this.

    Harris
    Posted 3 years ago #
  23. fordm60

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    My favorite shape is a Peterson 68! But for true manly man pipe, it has to be a bent stem, with the bowl made from the skull of your enemy! Silver inlay for eye sockets and around the rim only a fool would smoke it without the silver inlay!! "What is best in life?" "To destroy your enemies see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women, and a skull pipe!" OR you could go with a Predator skull as a pipe, but to be manly you have to kill whatever predator with your bare hands after running in down on foot, or it is a pansy pipe.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  24. lifesizehobbit

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    Fordm60 - you just described Commander McBragg's pipe of choice.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  25. fishnbanjo

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    I'm going against the grain here and select a corn cob, doesn't matter what shape.
    banjo

    Posted 3 years ago #
  26. jpmcwjr

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    Cigar=phallic symbol, unless it's just a smoke.... Pipes, not so much. My GF agrees, but still doesn't care to suck on my pipe even when loaded with Penzance or Mixture 79.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  27. iamn8

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    This entire thread makes me uncomfortable.

    Nate @ Moody AL
    Posted 3 years ago #
  28. cosmicfolklore

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    +1 Nate, If you read certain posts without the pictures or the context of "smoking" pipes, then it reads a lot like a gay porn thread. Every thread that has the word "Manly" in it always ends up being a big leather clad sausage party, ha ha.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  29. iamn8

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    Yeah cosmic, I almost added "if you don't see why, try reading the posts out loud"... Not that there's anything wrong with that

    Posted 3 years ago #
  30. fordm60

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    I loved Commander McBragg's stories back in the day lol!! I do believe your correct lifesizehobbit it would fit him well!!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  31. drwatson

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    Long and thick, with a nice curve

    I'm scared!!!

    But in the spirit of the thread, I will second corncob.

    John
    Posted 3 years ago #
  32. lifesizehobbit

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    I loved Commander McBragg's stories back in the day lol!! I do believe your correct lifesizehobbit it would fit him well!!

    Indubitably my good man. Indubitably.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  33. disinformatique

    The Pipe Monk

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    A man makes the pipes manly, not the other way around.

    Chris

    Albert Einstein was once quoted as saying, “I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs.” One of the reasons behind this statement is that pipe smoking is meant to be a slow leisurely activity. It takes patience to smoke a pipe. Unlike cigarettes and cigars, there is a certain amount of technique to smoking a pipe. Where cigars and cigarettes can just be picked up, lit and puffed on, pipes require the development of a technique in order to get the best smoking experience.
    Posted 3 years ago #
  34. fishingandpipes

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    http://www.boswellpipes.com/magnumxx21116.html

    Obviously.

    In other news, that sucker is marked as SOLD. Yeee-ikes.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  35. edgreen

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    +1 Nate, If you read certain posts without the pictures or the context of "smoking" pipes, then it reads a lot like a gay porn thread. Every thread that has the word "Manly" in it always ends up being a big leather clad sausage party, ha ha.

    It is called a poker and not a pokim.
    I think I'll stop now before I get this thread closed.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  36. andrew

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    Bulldog only sounds manly. The manliest pipe shape is the standard billiard. All the manly pipe smokers smoked billiard shapes, it's the classic man pipe.

    I have to agree. If I were going to smoke a pipe in a business meeting, it would definitely be a billiard.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  37. agnosticpipe

    Orley

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    It's the man that makes the pipe, not the pipe that makes the man.

    The pipe smoker formerly know as agnostic pipe
    "Fried food, hard liquor, and tobacco, that's the holy trinity!"- Stacy Keach
    Posted 3 years ago #
  38. stickframer

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    It's the man that makes the pipe, not the pipe that makes the man.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  39. jpmcwjr

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    Of course it is. But some pipes are more effeminate than others.

    So, what is the least "manly" pipe? One with sequins?

    Posted 3 years ago #
  40. seacaptain

    seacaptain

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    Poker

    Posted 3 years ago #
  41. ssavarimuthu

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    Sounds like a lot of people like the bulldog... Suppose I need to get one!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  42. anthonyrosenthal74

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    I can agree that perhaps certain shapes offer a more masculine shape than others. The Xl90 Peterson for example is quite masculine, in my opinion. Or as Chasingembers above said... freehands. A big freehand (smooth or rusticated) with a platea top has a masculine look to it. I don't see most bings or long shanked pipes as being very masculine. But that being said. In many cases it's the man smoking that pipe that makes it look masculine or not. Not the pipe itself. Put a pink little long shanked pipe with flowers painted on it in Chuck Norris's jaw.... he's gonna make that pipe look deadly. Just sayin.

    Arrrrr, shiver me timbers! International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September the 19th!!!
    Brothers Of The Black Frigate
    Posted 3 years ago #
  43. judcole

    Jud

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    Oh, FFS. This stuff again?

    Considering that "manly" is a socially constructed adjective, the manliest shape is whatever pipe shape a person who happens to be a man is smoking.

    BINGO! Cosmic nails it.

    Thought in the early morning, solace in time of woes,
    Peace in the hush of the twilight, balm ere my eyelids close
    Rudyard Kipling
    Posted 3 years ago #
  44. User has not uploaded an avatar

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    For me, it has nothing to do with manliness. I don't find a pipe shape "manlier" than the others.
    I don't smoke a pipe to display, or give the impression, of manliness, but to be able to relax, choose one of my pipes to pack, enjoy a good quality tobacco and forget about my problems for a while.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  45. cossackjack

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    The Cossack pipe, of course (unfortunately misnamed Oom Paul or Hungarian shape):

    Maybe the pipe does not speak manliness, but the mustache certainly does! (Never seen a woman with one like this)

    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
    Specialization is for insects!" - Robert Heinlein
    Posted 3 years ago #
  46. judcole

    Jud

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    Well said, guyrox.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  47. User has not uploaded an avatar

    frozenchurchwarden

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    http://corncobpipe.com/macarthur-5-star-corn-cob-pipe.html The Corn Cob that represents triumph over global tyranny.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  48. briarfanatic

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    Whatever this guy is smoking

    https://youtu.be/VGznFkAWa1Y

    cat
    Posted 3 years ago #
  49. michaelmirza

    Michael Mirza

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    Briarfanatic, at first I thought your post was referencing the .gif in your signature, and I was delighted. The link you posted was still good too though.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  50. mayfair70

    mayfair70

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    @briarfanatic

    I was never a big fan of The Village People, but I LOVE the cat with the top hat and pipe. Very Cool !!

    I don't know about manliest, but I really like my straight bulldog. Stamped Mayfair over Custombilt. Top pic is next to my Kaywoodie Flame Grain medium billiard.






    The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. -Groucho Marx
    Mouse-catcher on The Black Frigate
    Posted 3 years ago #
  51. anthonyrosenthal74

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    Briarfanatic, that video made me spew coffee out of my nose. I couldn't help but laugh at that guy.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  52. danielplainview

    dave g

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    Make aromatics great again.
    Posted 3 years ago #
  53. mayfair70

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    @ dave g,

    Are those real functioning smoking pipes?? Who makes them?

    Those are amazing, I want one !! I can smoke two blends of tobacco without mixing... awesome !!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  54. jeepnewbie

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    Briarfanatic that made my day.

    I think any pipe I pipe up is manly, even my smallest pipe. If I had to pick one that brings the thought of manliness it would have to be the classic cob. When I'm doing yard work, chopping wood, or fishing I have a trusty cob. All those things can end badly for a pipe, plus a cob wouldn't be a major loss if something did happen.

    "Keep it Classy"
    Posted 3 years ago #
  55. jvnshr

    jvnshr

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    Briarfanatic, that made me laugh really so hard. And Dave, are those real?

    Javan
    Posted 3 years ago #
  56. delkhouri

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    I am pretty sure Todd Johnson made a pipe, on a dare, that was shaped like male genitalia. I didn't want to google it because I don't know what kind of images I would see.

    "I believe that many who find that 'nothing happens' when they sit down, or kneel down, to a book of devotion, would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand"
    ~ C.S. Lewis
    Posted 3 years ago #
  57. pitchfork

    pitchfork

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    For the manliest shape, at least some consideration has to go to the Exceptional Jumbo Ball:


    http://www.boswellpipes.com/excjumboball.html

    Posted 3 years ago #
  58. misterlowercase

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    I don't always smoke balls,
    but when I do,
    I want jumbo!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  59. smokeyweb

    smokeyweb

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    Posted 3 years ago #
  60. shawnofthedead

    Shawn

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    Bulldog's design is still too sophisticated, you want a big fat poker to show that you don't give a damn.

    Life would go on as it had always gone on - that is, badly.
    Posted 3 years ago #
  61. mso489

    mso489

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    For basic, a pot comes close. For total macho, I guess cigars get the ribbon.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  62. deathmetal

    deathmetal

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    "My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey." -- William Faulkner

    The Metal Mixtures
    Posted 3 years ago #
  63. draco

    draco

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    Whatever pipe is currently clenched in my teeth with hearty smoke emanating from it;-)

    Posted 3 years ago #
  64. aristokles

    aristokles

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    Manliest shape? I've no idea but bulldogs and billiards could work for me. Now to skew the question a tad, the manliest pipe...just about any Custombilt.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  65. ophiuchus

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    When I first glanced at that double-barreled Fat Bastard display in dave g's post, I thought they were some crazy binoculars or ergonomic opera glasses before I remembered that this was a pipe thread.

    Then I looked at the picture for a moment or two, and from a perspective, the manliness of the form of these pipes became more evident. Like finally getting a joke after everyone else has already laughed.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  66. ophiuchus

    ophiuchus

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    (Notes to Self: Address original topic and avoid double-posting.)

    For manliest pipe, my vote is split between the straight pot (not otherwise specified) and the Peterson Premier System Rusticated 307 (with wear and tear from age and heavy use).

    Posted 3 years ago #
  67. disinformatique

    The Pipe Monk

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    Any pipe I am smoking is the manliest pipe. It's the "MAN" who makes the pipe, not the other way around.

    Chris

    Posted 3 years ago #
  68. andy

    andy

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    Definitely a thick stubby poker - basically anything from Joe Case!!!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  69. jefff

    jefff

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    Any pipe I stick in my mouth is pretty damn manly!

    But if push came to shove, I'd have to say Vulcano.... it's just hard for me to picture a woman smoking one.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  70. beefeater33

    beefeater33

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    My City Deluxe Gold Star is quite MANLY! Yes, manly indeed.......

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."
    Willy Wonka
    Posted 3 years ago #

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