Like gravity, tax day and everyone's ultimate demise there are certain truths of the universe that are simply absolute. No arguments. No flexibility. They simply are.
The same is apparently true in the world of tobaccoreviews.com.
Here are some I've learned.
1) Every bowl that everyone but me smokes results in a "fine gray ash". Weird. Mine usually end with some brown stuff. If it was a good bowl the brown stuff is fairly dry.
2) It is impossible to review a McClellan blend without the use of the word ketchup.
4) It is equally impossible to discuss blends form either Gawith house without using the term "soapy".
5) Aromatics are always "cloying" and "goopy", unless you're a fan of aromatics in which case you apologetically admit to liking things that taste good.
6)Apparently when others open a tin they are always "greeted" in some way. Never happens to me. But it would be nice sometime. "Hey Jonesing! How are ya man? It's me a ribbon cut blend that smells like latakia!"
7) There is simply nothing even approaching an equivalent to a blend produced by Arthur Dunhill. Really everything else is just rubbish. Rumor has it Mr. Dunhill's bowel movements smelled of lilac and heather.
Everyone and I mean everyone, is on a first name basis with Greg Pease, and Craig Tarler.
