Well me great auld grandda fecked off to London,or derryLondon as I like to call it back in de rare ol’ times with only half a crown and a baby bottle of powers in his back pocket. He did have a spare pair of jocks in his Gladstone bag all the same but. Lucky for him he’d been well fed de noight beforehand when he dropped in on Mrs Wilde for an aul bowl of coddle. And who comes in only de bould Oscar himself, of the quare fellah as me granda’s mate Brendan Behan use ta call him.
Enanyways he ends up workin as wan of Macalpines Fusiliers thrunin bricks up an down a bleedint ladder from wan end of the week till the next. Till he could pish ir all away iva Friday down the dilly. Mind you he was classy was dat auld lad heed always tuck the pigs trotter he’d bin gnawin on after a rake of pints, into the breast pocket of his jacket before he’d take a slash on marble arch.
Wan of the days after too much craic didn he go an gerrr himself the bullit outta de bleedin job. So what did he do? He only turned round an he sez to himself ah shure shag dis for a game a bleedin soldiers amin I only after bulding dis kip of a country up ourra bleedin nuttin? So sez he I’ll wreck the bleedin gaff and build it up with green and gold.
No better buachaill .
So out comes the spare pair a jocks and in go the eyeholes the jocks go over his head and away he heads to nearest post office to make a withdrawal. Now the poor auld creatur couldn’t read or write, so instead of usin a pen he used a sawn-off that had put a fair few ounces of lead into the red-coats on vinegar hill,back in ’98. So off he goes and gets himself a few auld sticks of jellyignite , with the few shillins.
Off he trots to Buck House. Now he also had his faithful German Shepard, Bowdlerize, with him, when he drooped round to Lizzie Windsors for a spot of crumpet and wanton destruction. But having only seen Fistful full of Dynamite the once he entrusted the sizzling stick to Bowdlerize to carry.
Poor auld Bowdlerize jumped as high as he could in the air and dispersed himself over a large area of Liz’s front door and walls.
That’s how me Granda came to write his first patriotic song “Alsatian Once Again”
Well thinks Granda to himself I’d be better off leggin it. Lucky for him his cousin Fusco Macari in Rome had invited him over so away he goes quick smart like.
When he gets to Rome cousin Macari comes to greet him looking only massive in his blackshirt and he asks me Granda what would you like to see in Rome?
Granda thinks for a minute and saz “Ah shure I’d love to see dat auld bollix Benito strung up to a lamppost”
Ah here cmear you sez Macari,(getting all offended like), will ya go way outta dat,jaysus bhoy ye can’t be sayin dat here loike.
Macari takin humbridge dragged me Granda into an empty field,put him up again the wall. Puts a gun to his head, pulls the trigger and puts a single bullet between his eyes.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Enanyways he ends up workin as wan of Macalpines Fusiliers thrunin bricks up an down a bleedint ladder from wan end of the week till the next. Till he could pish ir all away iva Friday down the dilly. Mind you he was classy was dat auld lad heed always tuck the pigs trotter he’d bin gnawin on after a rake of pints, into the breast pocket of his jacket before he’d take a slash on marble arch.
Wan of the days after too much craic didn he go an gerrr himself the bullit outta de bleedin job. So what did he do? He only turned round an he sez to himself ah shure shag dis for a game a bleedin soldiers amin I only after bulding dis kip of a country up ourra bleedin nuttin? So sez he I’ll wreck the bleedin gaff and build it up with green and gold.
No better buachaill .
So out comes the spare pair a jocks and in go the eyeholes the jocks go over his head and away he heads to nearest post office to make a withdrawal. Now the poor auld creatur couldn’t read or write, so instead of usin a pen he used a sawn-off that had put a fair few ounces of lead into the red-coats on vinegar hill,back in ’98. So off he goes and gets himself a few auld sticks of jellyignite , with the few shillins.
Off he trots to Buck House. Now he also had his faithful German Shepard, Bowdlerize, with him, when he drooped round to Lizzie Windsors for a spot of crumpet and wanton destruction. But having only seen Fistful full of Dynamite the once he entrusted the sizzling stick to Bowdlerize to carry.
Poor auld Bowdlerize jumped as high as he could in the air and dispersed himself over a large area of Liz’s front door and walls.
That’s how me Granda came to write his first patriotic song “Alsatian Once Again”
Well thinks Granda to himself I’d be better off leggin it. Lucky for him his cousin Fusco Macari in Rome had invited him over so away he goes quick smart like.
When he gets to Rome cousin Macari comes to greet him looking only massive in his blackshirt and he asks me Granda what would you like to see in Rome?
Granda thinks for a minute and saz “Ah shure I’d love to see dat auld bollix Benito strung up to a lamppost”
Ah here cmear you sez Macari,(getting all offended like), will ya go way outta dat,jaysus bhoy ye can’t be sayin dat here loike.
Macari takin humbridge dragged me Granda into an empty field,put him up again the wall. Puts a gun to his head, pulls the trigger and puts a single bullet between his eyes.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
