Santa Claus Vs. Tooth Fairy

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workman

Lifer
Jan 5, 2018
2,793
4,222
The Faroe Islands
Due to investors' demand for higher efficiency they have merged and are now one.
This has led to a drop in quality of service.
My daughter lost a tooth yesterday and there was no money under her pillow this morning. We had to sneak a coin in there and make her look again.
And that is just one case. There are numerous. For instance my other younger daughter received only a fraction of her numerous christmas wishes.
It makes me sad, but not surprised, as this has become all too common in our world today.
Maximize profits to the disadvantage of the customer.
No more, say I, no more!
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
Santa has all those bulky toys, bicycles and skateboards, even puppies and camping gear. However, the Tooth Fairy has all those rolls of quarters, and they get heavy for such a small airborne sprite who has to work year round. They are unionized, however, and so compensation and benefits are continually adjusted accordingly. Tooth Fairy only has the tutu and top, whereas Santa has reindeer veterinary expenses, sleigh repair, and major dry cleaning on red suits.
 
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jguss

Lifer
Jul 7, 2013
2,480
6,461
Easy, the Tooth Fairy’s job is tougher because of the added stress. Everybody loves Santa, he brings toys; everybody hates the Tooth Fairy, he brings a little petty cash which only serves to remind you that a part of your body fell off and blood is welling up in your mouth. If the think the suicide rate is high for dentists listen to this: according to Slate TFHQ goes through 2 or 3 Tooth Fairies every week.
 
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STP

Lifer
Sep 8, 2020
4,120
9,591
Northeast USA
Definitely Santa, as he only has one evening to fulfill his mission. The Tooth Fairy’s workload is not under the same time constraints. Also, they are not the same person as Santa is real, and the Tooth Fairy is... well, a fairy, and not real. I think a better juxtaposition would be including the Easter Bunny, although Ms. Deenihan (below) might have a different perspective.
C469EEF9-6D49-4040-9029-F1E21FE49784.jpeg
 
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verporchting

Lifer
Dec 30, 2018
2,902
8,997
I have concerns over both perps.

On one hand you’ve got fat old dude spying on children - he sees them when they’re sleeping, he knows when they’re awake - and he breaks into locked homes at night to tempt children with toys and candy?! Seriously? Is this significantly different from the pervy creeber with the free candy van parked down by the river?? At least he doesn’t break and enter your home.

On the other hand you’ve got some uber creepy fairy trespassing in your kid’s bedroom at night and conducting some type of illicit black market scheme purchasing human body parts for nickels and dimes - literally small change - from minor children who lack legal consent to engage in that exchange? Hmmm. Sounds dodgy to me.

Gives me the Wiggins.
 

STP

Lifer
Sep 8, 2020
4,120
9,591
Northeast USA
I have concerns over both perps.

On one hand you’ve got fat old dude spying on children - he sees them when they’re sleeping, he knows when they’re awake - and he breaks into locked homes at night to tempt children with toys and candy?! Seriously? Is this significantly different from the pervy creeber with the free candy van parked down by the river?? At least he doesn’t break and enter your home... Gives me the Wiggins.

He gave the Burgermeister Meisterburger the Wiggins too?

7282D121-C481-406F-BBA0-099D7EC418ED.jpeg
 
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