PAD Vaudeville

[mso489]

If you have pipes coming out of your ears you are smoking them wrong.
(Sorry about that.)

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. ba-dump-tump

 

[cosmicfolklore]

When I read about the evils of pipe smoking, I gave up reading. ba-dump-tump

 

[mso489]

Take my Mixture 79 ... please! Ka-boom.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I'm so proud of my pipes. I don't deserve all of these Beckers. But, I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. ba-dump-tump

 

[fishnbanjo]

Will all of you please pipe down, I'm trying to think. ba-da-bump

banjo

 

[cosmicfolklore]

The difference between four pounds of Penzance and a dead hooker? I don't have four pounds of Penzance in my cellar. pa dump tump

 

[ophiuchus]

The difference between four pounds of Penzance and a dead hooker? I don't have four pounds of Penzance in my cellar.

:rofl:
:clap:

 

[mso489]

I don't smoke pipes anymore. I don't smoke pipes any less either. Ka-ding.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

The secret to forums is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. ba-dump-tump

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I have this one pipe that is so large, that when I smoke it around the house, I smoke it AROUND the house. ba-dump-tump

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Outside of a dog, a pipe is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too wet to smoke. ba-dump-tump

 

[mso489]

I want to smoke a pipe in the worst way. That'd be Mixture 79. Ka-ding

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I like to smoke Royal Yacht before I go to bed, so I sleep like a baby. I cry a little; wet the bed a little. ba-dump-tump
If you want me to stop just rattle your jewelry.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

You know you've reached middle age when your doctor tells you to slow down more often than the cops. ba-dump-tump
Feel free to jump in at any time. The water is warm, and I no longer have to piss. bada-dump

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Stalin loved his Royal Yacht, and one day he was smoking when he fell into a well. A farmer rushed to save him, and the dictator offered him anything within his power in gratitude. The farmer requested, "Just please do not tell anyone that I saved you." ba-dump-tump

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Pipes, women... why is it that everything I love is either unhealthy or has multiple restraining orders against me? ba-dump-tump

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I changed my Facebook name to ‘No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this'. ba-dump-tump
Thank you ladies and germs, please feel free to drop a dollar in the hat.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I asked God for a pound of Stonehaven, but God doesn't work that way. I stole the pound of Stonehaven and asked for forgiveness. bada-dump
Should I stop... please... :: Say what you want about deaf people... tadump-ching

 

[mso489]

Mary had a little lamb ... but that's what she gets for sleeping in the barn. Ka-ding.