Grrrr, my wife found my PAD, TAD stash.
- Thread starter tokerpipes
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I have to agree with you mate. No budget here, I guess wife and I are spoiled but kids are gone, no mort. no car payments. Life is good for sure but it wasn't always that way. We NEVER had his and her money, it was always our money. I hope you can get your PAD money back in some way mate. I like to see and hear of ya'll pipes an baccy pictures on here.
I think your wife and mine are related! My wife doesn't want me anywhere near a video game system! :rofl:
There's absolutely nought wrong with an imbalance of power/control in a marriage providing both parties want and agree to such an imbalance.
Crikey's moses, look at the divorce rate these days compared to 50 years ago, and earlier ... why? Because there's too much balance of bloody control which results in a perpetual power struggle in many instances. Far better to have clearly defined roles ime and imo!
I keep my PAD/TAD funds in cash in an old tin. No paper trail no problem. In the end it's all about compromise. My wife has been wanting a new mattress set so last night we went shopping. She got her new bed and I got a new Pete. We'll have 20 years in this May. I've learned a few things in that time. 8)
My wife knows about my personal account. She knows I have had it since I was 15. I put about $100 a month there for the insurance on our bikes and the rest is mine. No arguments. I can also transfer from that account to our account if need be.
I got a large box full of estates (11 + a stand) off Ebay a few days ago. Cost me just over $100. When the box came in I realized I had not said anything about winning the on line bid to Stacy. I wasnt trying to hide it from her, it just never came to mind. Well I set the box on the table and told her what I did. She was very understanding to the point of being cool. We had alot of fun examining the new additions to the house. What a girl.
I hesitate to comment because I suspect it will just lead to trouble. But ausielass and rhogg have broken the soil up a bit, so let me speed the plow along.
Posts like the OP here are just a sad puzzlement to me. The idea of man hiding something like this from his wife, of her "finding him out," like a naughty schoolboy who has missed curfew, it just makes me shake my head.
It's one of my foundational principles that "no one understands anyone else's marriage," so if this kind of arrangement suits you, well enjoy, I suppose. Worse than being the husband in such a marriage must be to be the wife.
My view -- and, frankly, my experience of most men and women, across religions and cultures -- is that marriage works when there is sacrificial leadership and real trust, love and a responsibility. Too many men are afraid to be the servant leaders of their homes. Too many women are afraid to say they want -- what they long for -- in their heart of hearts, for their husbands to be the servant leaders they were meant to be. To be MEN. I can tell you the peace, fun, security, power, fulfillment and pure joy of a marriage founded on those ideas is not to be compared to the struggle and angst of a union that ignores them.
This isn't as simple or base as "he's the boss," even though those who oppose these ideas it often create that straw man to knock down. (I don't doubt someone here may try the same approach.) But it does embody roles that are different, one from the other.
Real women want to be married to real men; always have, always will. Simple as that. But after 40 years of brainwashing in western developed society, stating these simple truths is dangerous stuff.
(That's the secular side. I come at this also -- and more fundamentally -- from a Biblical perspective, but I'll forebear a discussion of Ephesians unless someone says they're interested.)
Posts like the OP here are just a sad puzzlement to me. The idea of man hiding something like this from his wife, of her "finding him out," like a naughty schoolboy who has missed curfew, it just makes me shake my head.
It's one of my foundational principles that "no one understands anyone else's marriage," so if this kind of arrangement suits you, well enjoy, I suppose. Worse than being the husband in such a marriage must be to be the wife.
My view -- and, frankly, my experience of most men and women, across religions and cultures -- is that marriage works when there is sacrificial leadership and real trust, love and a responsibility. Too many men are afraid to be the servant leaders of their homes. Too many women are afraid to say they want -- what they long for -- in their heart of hearts, for their husbands to be the servant leaders they were meant to be. To be MEN. I can tell you the peace, fun, security, power, fulfillment and pure joy of a marriage founded on those ideas is not to be compared to the struggle and angst of a union that ignores them.
This isn't as simple or base as "he's the boss," even though those who oppose these ideas it often create that straw man to knock down. (I don't doubt someone here may try the same approach.) But it does embody roles that are different, one from the other.
Real women want to be married to real men; always have, always will. Simple as that. But after 40 years of brainwashing in western developed society, stating these simple truths is dangerous stuff.
(That's the secular side. I come at this also -- and more fundamentally -- from a Biblical perspective, but I'll forebear a discussion of Ephesians unless someone says they're interested.)
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