Conversation is regularly declared dead, but talk jabbers on, whether it rises to conversation or not. Here are a few rules of the road by which I measure the quality of conversation, or whether talk rises to the level of conversation at all. Add any you feel are important.
1) Conversation requires a true balance so everyone participating whether between two people or a larger group, gets equal time. The further the talking strays from this, the less conversation takes place.
2) Good conversation assumes an equality between speakers, at least for the purposes of the moment. Someone may preside to prompt obeying the rules of the road, but no one should presume to prevail. That's a meeting or briefing. No conversation there.
3) Conversation requires good will, even when people have established known differences. For conversation, people assume good intent and wish people well.
4) Conversation allows humor, word play, and fresh insight. No one wraps a joke around another's neck as if it were a serious remark.
5) But people stay on track unless there is agreement that the subject will change.
Good conversation is sadly rare and requires skills not widely cultivated. When it occurs it is golden, and best of all, memorable. Story tellers and party raconteurs are valuable people, but they should never think they are promoting conversation. Often, they are actually preventing it. Theirs is a high art, but it isn't conversation.
What would you add to elevate talk toward true conversation?
1) Conversation requires a true balance so everyone participating whether between two people or a larger group, gets equal time. The further the talking strays from this, the less conversation takes place.
2) Good conversation assumes an equality between speakers, at least for the purposes of the moment. Someone may preside to prompt obeying the rules of the road, but no one should presume to prevail. That's a meeting or briefing. No conversation there.
3) Conversation requires good will, even when people have established known differences. For conversation, people assume good intent and wish people well.
4) Conversation allows humor, word play, and fresh insight. No one wraps a joke around another's neck as if it were a serious remark.
5) But people stay on track unless there is agreement that the subject will change.
Good conversation is sadly rare and requires skills not widely cultivated. When it occurs it is golden, and best of all, memorable. Story tellers and party raconteurs are valuable people, but they should never think they are promoting conversation. Often, they are actually preventing it. Theirs is a high art, but it isn't conversation.
What would you add to elevate talk toward true conversation?