You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To: No

[mso489]

My dad never gave me the "you can be anything you set your mind to" advice, but he did take an interest in things I seemed to do well and encouraged me in those all along the way. At one point, I had so many interests he advised me that I needed to focus on one or two, but as it turned out I used most of these interests to earn a living at one point or another, in one way or another, especially photography, radio, and writing and editing. It made the hard work more validated to be steered toward activities in which I showed some promise. Growing up I had infatuations with being a clergyman, a stand-up comic, and various other careers that I wasn't suited to. A mentor in a grad program told me not to plan on teaching; the jobs just weren't there. I didn't, and he was correct. The teaching boom was over. After years of being a faculty spouse, I realized how ill suited to it I would have been, being married to a talented professor. I don't get energy from continual social contact, nor do I want to be on stage every day.

 

[wolflarsen]

Do anything I set my mind to ...
How about doing Jennifer Love Hewitt?
That would be great...

 

[telescopes]

 

[lawdawg]

The only times I remember there ever being participation trophies were in the 5 year old range, which I am fine with. And, people had conniption fits slathering at the mouth over this like it was going to make commie homosexual terrorists out of their kids, but it was only the first level of the sport at a time when learning the rules of the game were more important. The 6 year old league not only had trophies only for the winners, it had an Allstar league, by invitation only.

Maybe out in California, but here, we never saw these things.
And, I get so tired of all of the exaggerations.

By referencing participation trophies, I was really alluding more to the general overprotective "helicopter parent" phenomenon that the participation trophies seem to be a part of. For the most part, the "participation trophy" is really a bit of an allegory, or a microcosm of the overprotective parenting style, at least that's how I've always seen it. If parents are letting their kids succeed or fail on their own merits in the realm of sports, then I would see that as a positive development. However, given that the style of parenting that most us grew up with is now scrutinized as an out-of-the-norm "free range parenting" style, I have my doubts about seeing any signs of improvement in the realm of overprotective parenting.

When I was a coach, several of the children were from broken families. They had little to be happy about. If a participation trophy brightens there world, I say amen.

After all, attorneys get paid whether they win or loose .???

But we don't get many clients if we keep losing ?

In all seriousness though, playing competitive sports when I was a little kid and a teenager definitely helped equip me to learn how to handle the sense of failure, defeat, and self-doubt that comes after losing a trial. The helicopter style of parenting is going to result in a bunch of people who can't handle that sort of failure or rejection in a productive manner.

 

[magicpiper]

Dad always told me I could do anything I wanted to do. And he always advised against joining the "green machine". "They own your ass the moment you sign the dotted line" he proclaimed. Ironically, Dad was a career Army man. He changed his tune when I graduated high school. He asked me at least 100 times my senior year in high school if I had given the Army much thought.

Fast forward to adult life, Dad's encouragement has taken me far in life. No, I didn't make in the dirty movie business like I had dreamed of. They require more than my size 15 feet . I have found success, none the less, and life has been great. Sometimes all it takes is a little encouragement that you can make something of yourself with a crapload of hard work.

 

[telescopes]

Some of you guys like to brush mighty close to politics, doncha?

I didn’t bring up Alabama?

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

By referencing participation trophies, I was really alluding more to the general overprotective "helicopter parent" phenomenon that the participation trophies seem to be a part of. For the most part, the "participation trophy" is really a bit of an allegory, or a microcosm of the overprotective parenting style, at least that's how I've always seen it. If parents are letting their kids succeed or fail on their own merits in the realm of sports, then I would see that as a positive development. However, given that the style of parenting that most us grew up with is now scrutinized as an out-of-the-norm "free range parenting" style, I have my doubts about seeing any signs of improvement in the realm of overprotective parenting.


But we don't get many clients if we keep losing ?

In all seriousness though, playing competitive sports when I was a little kid and a teenager definitely helped equip me to learn how to handle the sense of failure, defeat, and self-doubt that comes after losing a trial. The helicopter style of parenting is going to result in a bunch of people who can't handle that sort of failure or rejection in a productive manner.

Trust me, these children experienced failure. Hard work is just part of the equation. Having luck is another part.

Having an encouraging system and mentor or coach is part of the luck.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I didn’t bring up Alabama?

My favorite past time is making fun of Alabama. Just the people... because we have the most beautiful landscapes, and best beaches in the world.

 

[telescopes]

Dad always told me I could do anything I wanted to do. And he always advised against joining the "green machine". "They own your ass the moment you sign the dotted line" he proclaimed.

Wait, you’re dad didn‘t want you joining a motorcycle club like the Vagos?

 

[telescopes]

My favorite past time is making fun of Alabama. Just the people... because we have the most beautiful landscapes, and best beaches in the world.

Beaches…. You mean bitches, ha ha.

was that going too far?

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[DAR]

Once you've been here a while, you'll figure out that Ash is one of the best humans here. We can disagree without the superlatives. In fact, I tend to disagree a lot, ha ha. But, the goal is to do it and still remain friends.

I have nothing against any member or anyone that thinks differently than me. Much respect to Ashdigger and if those thoughts float his boat, hooray. I welcome different thoughts and I welcome people challenging my position on anything. I would have said the same thing if we were together, having a smoke and a drink. Maybe I came off too hard?
I do get passionate about what I think is ruining society and making it more difficult for many people to feel good about themselves and this whole "You can achieve anything you want" thing is one of those things.
Facts are facts. Some people are not intelligent. Some people have no talent. Some people are not artistic. Some people are not athletic. And then again, some people succeed and achieve what they want without even trying.

 

[telescopes]

Facts are facts. Some people are not intelligent.

Intelligence isn’t a check off box. It is a scale. All human’s have levels of intelligence. It is an important distinction to any argument made regarding the OP‘s question.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

There are just going to be some that are motivated to win win win at all costs. They are the ones bring all textbooks home to study every night. Some, no matter what you tell them will not. I don't think it matters a rat's ass what we tell kids. The same amount of extradentary and same amount of loser is going to happen. And then there is going to be a faction of people that magic just happens for them regardless.

Having raised the kids I have, I can say in all honesty that this is just programmed into the cosmos.
I'm pretty sure Michael Jordan worked like hell to get to where he is. Joe Shmo isn't going to work no matter what you say, and Bill Gates was just a lucky son of a bitch.

But, if we stick to the OP, mostly we do so, so that some people can blame people who are in their situation and can't get out on them not working hard enough.

 

[telescopes]

There are just going to be some that are motivated to win win win at all costs. They are the ones bring all textbooks home to study every night. Some, no matter what you tell them will not. I don't think it matters a rat's ass what we tell kids. The same amount of extradentary and same amount of loser is going to happen. And then there is going to be a faction of people that magic just happens for them regardless.

Having raised the kids I have, I can say in all honesty that this is just programmed into the cosmos.
I'm pretty sure Michael Jordan worked like hell to get to where he is. Joe Shmo isn't going to work no matter what you say, and Bill Gates was just a lucky son of a bitch.

But, if we stick to the OP, mostly we do so, so that some people can blame people who are in their situation and can't get out on them not working hard enough.

And some people just don’t have boots…

 

[sablebrush52]

Maybe out in California, but here, we never saw these things.

Not much in California, either.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Not much in California, either.

It is like reading on Facebook that they had gotten rid of handwriting in elementary schools... as I was helping my daughter with her handwriting homework.

 

[virginialover]

One can get a long way by trying hard at something,
But I think, in the end, talent rules

Talent with hard work rules and hard work only will always be second to that but better than just unworked talent. Of course it's always easier to work hard when you have talent.

 

[jpmcwjr]

I believe we've exhausted most of the possibilities and permutations of the topic. And the small bubbling of animosity I'd not like to see turn into a rolling boil.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Really? IBTL

 

[sablebrush52]

It is like reading on Facebook that they had gotten rid of handwriting in elementary schools... as I was helping my daughter with her handwriting homework.

Handwriting? How quaint. Everyone here just speaks to their word processor.