You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To: No

[cosmicfolklore]

I could have been a contender at the Olympics in boxing. I don't think something like that is unrealistic. I didn't get the opportunity, because at my peak age, we boycotted. But, I was pretty damned good playing soccer for my college. But, I've run across some that I just knew that my dreams would be unrealistic in their life.

But, as far as a philosophy, I don't think the saying works. When we just don't have the magic, how do we assist them in making new dreams, or even suggest it, without the whole of it being corrupted?

Maybe it is better said... You can be anything you can dream to be, as long as you work hard, exercise your talents, and don't dream too big.

Ultimately, I think it is better to teach people that success is not just about getting the right job, or making a set point of money, or having material things. Success can be a lot more than that. I've said many times that I have never met a truly wealthy person who also didn't seem to be missing something either spiritually or emotionally. Just not happy people. And, some of the happiest people I know are not even close to being financially wealthy. Success can look like a variety of things.

 

[DAR]

You absolutely can do anything you set your mind to. The freedom to succeed is also the freedom to fail and learn.

Failure is not final if you get up, dust you self off and try again.

I disagree it’s a misleading statement. Trying, learning and evolving are all part of growing up.

When I was growing up I wanted to be an aquatic biologist, so I worked at a university in the field. It wasn’t for me. Did I fail? Nope, I learned.

I then engaged in two other careers that I don’t do any more. Did I fail, no I learned.

I’m currently a Fire Investigator and have been doing this for 17 years. I’m 58.

I refuse to believe dreams are dead. I refuse to accept limiting beliefs.

If I read this ^ right.........It's the most BS I've read on this forum since becoming a member.
Many people take these contrite, immature, bumper sticker statements and start talking about how they succeeded so if you don't succeed, you must be lazy or something more horrible.
If that were the case, I would be sitting here thinking, since I'm well off, and don't have to work hard anymore the only reason you are not well off and do have to work hard is because you are lazy when that is just not how reality works.

Some people can do and others can't. Concentrate on what you can do and leave what you can't do to the ones that can.
Of course you give it your best. Of course you don't let one little thing make you quit. Of course you try till you're spent. But one of the most important things in succeeding at life is knowing when to quit what you can't do and knowing why you failed. Not quitting makes you a failure and a fool, not a winner.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

It's the most BS I've read on this forum since becoming a member.

Once you've been here a while, you'll figure out that Ash is one of the best humans here. We can disagree without the superlatives. In fact, I tend to disagree a lot, ha ha. But, the goal is to do it and still remain friends.

 

[ashdigger]

I g

If I read this ^ right.........It's the most BS I've read on this forum since becoming a member.
Many people take these contrite, immature, bumper sticker statements and start talking about how they succeeded so if you don't succeed, you must be lazy or something more horrible.
If that were the case, I would be sitting here thinking, since I'm well off, and don't have to work hard anymore the only reason you are not well off and do have to work hard is because you are lazy when that is just not how reality works.

Some people can do and others can't. Concentrate on what you can do and leave what you can't do to the ones that can.
Of course you give it your best. Of course you don't let one little thing make you quit. Of course you try till you're spent. But one of the most important things in succeeding at life is knowing when to quit what you can't do and knowing why you failed. Not quitting makes you a failure and a fool, not a winner.

I guess you don’t understand. Good luck.

It’s mind boggling. Simply mind boggling how people think.

I’ll clarify one thing and then I’m done here. No, fuck it. I’m wasting my breath and I have shit to do.

Good luck folks.

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

Regarding the ancient mantra of encouragement for young people, you can do anything you set your mind to, it is a kind, generous, and misleading saying. Most of growing up is finding out what your talents and strong points are, which means finding out all of the dozens of activities at which you have limited or no capabilities. I had the dexterity and focus to be a brain surgeon, but I didn't have the algebra through calculus proficiency nor the chemistry aptitude to get to med school. I could have hammered my head against the wall and maybe even graduated med school, but I would have been a master of ambition not medicine. The poor patients. No, you have to set your mind to what you can do well, whether it is socially glorified or just what you thoroughly enjoy doing. I think it's cruel to set kids up for dreams they can't attain or that would make them unhappy if attained.

Read a book once of trying to figure out the “will of God”. The book said to do what you want and can do.

 

[johnnyreb]

I remember the era in kids sports where every kid got a participation trophy; if your team was ahead you should back off & not run the score up, & in fact you shouldn’t keep score at all!

That philosophy sort of went away when the average professional athlete starting signing million dollar contracts, & the average parent thought they saw light at the end of the tunnel & started making life choices for their kid.

 

[anotherbob]

I agree so much. I've seen so many miserable people that wanted to be some type of artist. They've put in the work and hours but their missing that something and it doesn't seem like they'll ever get it. Untop of that very people like admitting that in many fields how much luck there is. Not saying it's all luck, you still have to do the work. But to make it in many fields requires a lot of luck. How many great artists never get their break, never get their chance to shine? Many. And success is a matter of many factors and guess what at least a few of the critical ones are totally invisible. Why does one thing resonate with people and another does not? Who the heck knows?
One of the saddest things I've seen are people banging their heads against the wall trying to do something they can't pull off. I've seen people that want to be rock stars that just don't have charisma. They'd be better off scaling down their ambition. Maybe writing some songs for people with charisma to do. It's as important to know your self and your limitations and talents as it is to put the hours and sacrifice in and hope for the best and accept what you can get.
People don't want to face how unfathomable life really is and say there is some limited and simple path to success. But paint by numbers is a game for kids, not a biography for adults.

 

[sablebrush52]

I'm more with ashdigger on this one. Not that I entirely agree with the aphorism, taken literally it's unrealistic, but taken symbolically, as an aspirational goal, it's spot on.

I've met many people who settled too easily, and not happily, for far less than they could have done. There is a strong sentiment, a sort of fatalistic belief in people I've encountered many times that promotes the belief that no matter how hard one tries, one is never going to get far in life, that that's the way it's been since the beginning of time, that it doesn't matter how hard one tries, "it" is never gonna happen, because "that's the way it is".

One's options are limited by fate, circumstance, and "the way the world is." This is, in it's way, as much bullshit as "you can do anything you set your mind to" when taken literally and as an absolute.

But,

"Ah, but man's reach should exceed his grasp,
Or what's a heaven for?"

is more to the point. To achieve anything worthwhile a person should attempt even those things that may turn out to be impossible. It's how you learn. Nobody know their limits until they smashed into them.

I've been a self supporting professional artist for over 50 years. When I set my sights on a career in the arts I found zero support from my family. They thought I was nuts. My parents were horrified and quite frank about it.
My teachers were bleak about anyone's prospects for having a career. At the end of one painting class our teacher (by the way a brilliant painter and highly successful artist who taught because he liked teaching, not because he had to) sat us down to say the following:

"Maybe I'll be teaching for 30 years, and in that time I'll have taught 10,000 people. If even one of you ever makes a nickel at doing art you will have significantly beaten the odds."

He let that bit of reality sink in for a moment before adding:

"To be a career artist you must never acknowledge the odds".

And there is the crux of it.

I've beaten the odds in part because I didn't care fuckall about them.

I have some modest talent and I work like fucking hell to develop it. It requires learning new things constantly and facing new challenges constantly, being able to adapt constantly. It's a gig economy career from before there was such a thing as a gig economy. It's economic tightrope walking. And I wouldn't have done anything else. If doing art doesn't involve hard work, you're doing it wrong.

I could have been a mathematician. UCLA's Mathematics department offered me a full scholarship if I would have left the College of Fine Arts. Much as I enjoyed mathematics, it wasn't my dream.

I would have liked to have been able to play the piano at a virtuoso level, but I don't have the physical ability, similar to that of a professional baseball player or gymnast. But funnily enough, I am very musical, so my bumbling playing actually impressed a few concert pianists who met me in private salons and who asked me to listen to them and critique them when they were preparing repertoire for a tour, something that I did for several years until my own career demands forced me to stop.

We all have different gifts at different levels, but we won't realize them unless we strive.

 

[crawdad]

You will never know what you are truly capable of until you have really tried. I’ve done things and witnessed others achieve things against insurmountable odds. As for myself I did the whole Army Ranger school just because my buddies said I couldn’t. I got my tab despite the whole grueling nightmare. I wanted to quit but I wasn’t made to. The point is it’s better to have tried that not have tried at all.

 

[telescopes]

This is a subject I do know something about....

"A man has to know his limitations." Harry Callahan

Limitations DO NOT define one's limits. As a teacher, I agree with @cosmicfolklore regarding physical abilities and I.Q. And @ashdigger is correct that perseverance and effort are necessary and in fact often the difference between failure and success.

But life is NOT one or the other.

Limitations, like a stop sign, do not prevent us from moving forward... if we understand the road conditions, the nature of the vehicle we've been given, and understand that there are other paths we can either find or make ; paths that will take us either to our destination or close to it.

A four foot eleven inch man can find work, meaningful work, in the NBA. A deaf child can find work, meaningful and even brilliant work, in the world of music. But how both express their dreams will look very different than how a six foot 11 inch naturally dexterous athlete will express his dreams in the NBA or how a brilliantly eared musician will find their way as a musician.

Understanding your limitations can in fact pave the way to becoming limitless if you refashion the world around you to become more congruent with who you really are.

It takes work, perseverance, and sometimes just luck.

Also, time is not static. As a teacher, the students I impacted may very well either through their offspring or other people they touch, change the world for the best, even though I personally didn't do this during the time I was allotted.

Here is something I learned. In any industry, 5% of the people do 80% of the work that makes the company hum. Everyone else is competing against the middle. Compete against the top 5%.

Dress like them,
Talk like them,
Learn from them,

You may never outperform them, but there will be days when they are having an off day, and at that moment, you will be number one.

Water does not go over a mountain. It goes around it. Learn from water.

Teach children to understand their strengths. Teach them to improve and build on their weaknesses. Teach them to dream unlimited and untethered by the constraints we put on them and they will find a way. It most likely won't be the path they first thought it would be or the one we thought they had to take, but with love for who they are, they can learn to love whatever they choose to become. Limitations are real, but they needn't limit us - they need only teach us a new or different way to become what we might become.

 

[lawdawg]

I remember the era in kids sports where every kid got a participation trophy; if your team was ahead you should back off & not run the score up, & in fact you shouldn’t keep score at all!

That philosophy sort of went away when the average professional athlete starting signing million dollar contracts, & the average parent thought they saw light at the end of the tunnel & started making life choices for their kid.

Wait, are the kids back to being competitive? Is the participation trophy era over now?? That would be a bit of good news.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Wait, are the kids back to being competitive? Is the participation trophy era over now?? That would be a bit of good news.

The only times I remember there ever being participation trophies were in the 5 year old range, which I am fine with. And, people had conniption fits slathering at the mouth over this like it was going to make commie homosexual terrorists out of their kids, but it was only the first level of the sport at a time when learning the rules of the game were more important. The 6 year old league not only had trophies only for the winners, it had an Allstar league, by invitation only.

Maybe out in California, but here, we never saw these things.
And, I get so tired of all of the exaggerations.

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

When I was a coach, several of the children were from broken families. They had little to be happy about. If a participation trophy brightens there world, I say amen.

After all, attorneys get paid whether they win or loose .???

 

[telescopes]

One last thing: I agree totally with the thou stated by @sablebrush52 , however I would like to add this- I have never been comfortable accepting society’s definitions and terms of defining the roads we can take or the rules necessary to take them. I encouraged my students to tear up the “contact“ and rewrite it so that it works for them, so long as it passed the five finger test: it is moral, ethical, legal, doesn’t harm others, and has accountability to themselves, the ones they love, and society as a whole. If your plan does all of these things, who are we to stand in the way? I believe this helps solve the equation.

Yeh, I don’t like playing by the “rules”.

 

[anotherbob]

Wait, are the kids back to being competitive? Is the participation trophy era over now?? That would be a bit of good news.

trust me all but the stupidest kids hated those things. I know I got at least one. The thing is they're not for the kids. They're for those asshole parents that refuse to participate unless their kid gets a trophy they can put on the mantle. That's who they are for. Any kid who got one immediately knew what it was and would react like "oh I got pranked". Their parents would be like no it's trophy it's great I can show it off to people who don't give a shit about it in the first place and hence won't actually read the plaque on it. That's who those are made for and who asked for them. "Why if my useless kid doesn't get a trophy we'll go home and not give any money to the league".

 

[telescopes]

The only times I remember there ever being participation trophies were in the 5 year old range, which I am fine with. And, people had conniption fits slathering at the mouth over this like it was going to make commie homosexual terrorists out of their kids, but it was only the first level of the sport at a time when learning the rules of the game were more important. The 6 year old league not only had trophies only for the winners, it had an Allstar league, by invitation only.

Maybe out in California, but here, we never saw these things.
And, I get so tired of all of the exaggerations.

Wait…. Did you just attack California? Time to cancel you and get #cosmicbigotry. ?

 

[anotherbob]

When I was a coach, several of the children were from broken families. They had little to be happy about. If a participation trophy brightens there world, I say amen.

After all, attorneys get paid whether they win or loose .???

well they'll be the first to tell you their job isn't winning. It's representation. Well when it's time for the bill.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

When I was a coach, several of the children were from broken families. They had little to be happy about. If a participation trophy brightens there world, I say amen.

After all, attorneys get paid whether they win or loose .???

Yep attorneys and banks get paid for merely participating.

 

[telescopes]

Yep attorneys and banks get paid for merely participating.

Apparently POTUS’s do as well.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Some of you guys like to brush mighty close to politics, doncha?