Yet Another Crazy Tobacco Review.

[mawnansmiff]

This chap obviously forgot to take his meds the day he wrote this...
Full Virginia Flake, what's there to be said that already hasn't? Hmm...Well here's one for you. STOP HORDING THIS SHIT YOU DUMB A- HOLES!. Don't you realize that most of you will be dead by the time you actually smoke one third of your tobacco? And then what huh? Your spoiled kids aren't going to be fighting over ownership of your old stinky tobacco when you're dead, no, they'll go for the house. Maybe the car, what kind of car do you drive? If it's a nice car that still has a lot of value, hmm, ok so the kids would fight over the house and the car after they stick you in the ground. Then what, your one kid that none of his siblings like (probably has some kind of mental dysfunction) will be stuck with it. And God knows what he's going to do with it after you're rotting. Maybe toss in some grass and smoke one for Papa. How degrading!!!!! This is an excellent tobacco that you'd rather spend money on and throw away than give someone else a chance to enjoy it. You're tobacco will outlive you. If I knew who you were, I'd form a FVF rescue and break into your house and steal your shit. Let it be enjoyed.
Regards,
Jay.

 

[aldecaker]

Good Lord, Jay, where did you come across a "review" like that?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Don't you realize that most of you will be dead by the time you actually smoke one third of your tobacco?

The reviewer seem to assume that he knows each and every reader. What I don't smoke before I die, becomes fuel for my pyre. ::

 

[paddypiper]

How does that end up even remotely being a review? It starts out as if he has some sort of insite into the tobacco and then immediately goes off on a (somewhat familiar sounding) tangent about how everyone else is buying and hoarding the tobacco he wants.

 

[pipesmokingtom]

That was an enjoyable read. Hey.. sometimes we all need to blow off some steam.

 

[cosmicbobo]

^^^^^^^what he said

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Whenever I try to write reviews, I tend to swerve quickly into rants about using the turn signal and why people shouldn't honk their horns in residential neighborhoods.

 

[paddypiper]

What about loud music, skateboarding, and teenagers with their pants halfway down their legs Cosmic?

 

[jpmcwjr]

It came from tobaccorantreviews:

FunkyD in the Morning Reviewed By Date Rating Strength Flavoring Taste Room Note

FunkyD in the Morning (7) 2011-12-12

★★★★

Medium Extremely Mild Extra Full Pleasant to Tolerable

 

[mawnansmiff]

That's the chap John. You should see his other 'reviews', they're just as cranky.
I reckon he's putting the wrong stuff in his pipe.
Regards,
Jay.

 

[condorlover1]

Gosh! Thats most certainly someone with anger management issues. I have just seen a few of these in the UK in the last few days.

 

[nukesimi]

My parents came to my place over the weekend and happened upon my closet, where I keep my tobacco tins. They shook their heads in disbelief. I tend to agree with him, I probably will never get around to smoking all of my tobacco.

 

[weezell]

I wonder how he really feels??? :crazy:

 

[mcitinner1]

Nukes, you don't smoke enough... :mrgreen:

 

[saltedplug]

It's not a review but a delightfully over-the-top rant about hoarding. I especially liked the emphasis on the children's greed for their cut of the estate to the sole exclusion of the tobacco.

 

[J. Mayo]

I reckon he's putting the wrong stuff in his pipe.

He may need something a little stronger, maybe of the "wacky tobacky" variety to cool him down a little. I have to admit it's a mildly entertaining review though. :lol:

 

[uncleblackie]

Hopefully his "review" got at least one wayward soul to take a look in the mirror and check his priorities.
Seriously, ever wonder how much perfectly good (at one time at least) tobacco will end up in a landfill? At least it leaves the possibility that some pipe-smoking apocalypse survivor will get a pleasant surprise one day. Reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode, with bags of Penzance instead of books. Hopefully he doesn't drop his pipe.

 

[jpmcwjr]

Agree, not so much a review as a rant. How delightful it is may be debatable!
Ooops! You're not he, are ye?

 

[uncleblackie]

Nay, I not be he.

 

[alexnorth]

Hah, that's funny,