Worlds Slowest Race

[The Clay King]

@Chaukisch I've got more clays than I can count
What are your fastest and slowest clay pipe smoking times???
Still get heartbroken if I break one though...
Not feeling hungry at the moment after drinking 2 pints of beer this afternoon while waiting for the taxi home from my bushcraft course. Made a wooden spoon today.
Just downed a clay pipe of Condor Ready Rubbed in 1 minute 37 seconds!
Definitely getting plenty of plant material this week
Got a mild baccy rush from downing all that delicious Condor

 

[The Clay King]

@Chaukisch I broke the stem of my church warden pipe at Cromford Mill during the Redcoats and Revolutionaries event. Had to smoke a Pollock cutty the rest of the day; the blacksmith had to come closer to light it from his forge

 

[Chaukisch]

I've got more clays than I can count

I aim to get much more clay pipes as well. They're really good friends and considering all the history, tradition and craftsmanship they're very precious things to buy, have, smoke and support.

What are your fastest and slowest clay pipe smoking times???

I never really cared enough to measure that.
All my current leaf is pretty much on the mild side and I can take the nicotine, I even expect a certain level of strength and durability out of myself but my mouth still burns up something fierce when I really puff it up.
At least with my raw leaf.
And I consider even a pouch of Clan a rather special and expensive tobacco purchase so I wouldn't dare to just puff it up like that. Instead of a pouch of Clan I could buy a good 2lb of raw leaf.

And for slow smoking... Rules of local tournaments forbid relighting after one minute and I'm too inexperienced to keep the ambers up like that.
Just sometimes, when I packed wisely and got enough sense to behave while puffing.
Usually with my bruyeres.

Still get heartbroken if I break one though...

I'm just rather ashamed of myself. Bad performance, that pipe doesn't deserve a barbarian like me.

Not feeling hungry at the moment after drinking 2 pints of beer
Just downed a clay pipe of Condor Ready Rubbed in 1 minute 37 seconds!

Hey, maybe I could be the Beer King.
I finished the first three quarts and just got another three, they're still in the freezer. And with a few days of preparation I can go on all night and day like this, at least with beer.
With very sweet red wine - 3 quarts, rosé goes down much better and in hgher quantities.
With rum (40%) - 1.5 quarts over a period of 26 hours and no rest - very interesting and physically numbing experience.

Definitely getting plenty of plant material this week

Got a mild baccy rush from downing all that delicious Condor

I'm about to pack the 7th, 8th or 9th pipe for today. I don't remember... I definitely need to get some dark fired and/or sun cured Kentucky to get some more nicotine in my blends. And much more different Orientals.


I'm dragging on as usual... Being new there's too much to talk about and written words are much too long.
But just answering like a machine would seem much too uncaring and impersonal.

This world is a paradox Limbo.

 

[The Clay King]

I aim to get much more clay pipes as well. They're really good friends and considering all the history, tradition and craftsmanship they're very precious things to buy, have, smoke and support.


I never really cared enough to measure that.
All my current leaf is pretty much on the mild side and I can take the nicotine, I even expect a certain level of strength and durability out of myself but my mouth still burns up something fierce when I really puff it up.
At least with my raw leaf.
And I consider even a pouch of Clan a rather special and expensive tobacco purchase so I wouldn't dare to just puff it up like that. Instead of a pouch of Clan I could buy a good 2lb of raw leaf.

And for slow smoking... Rules of local tournaments forbid relighting after one minute and I'm too inexperienced to keep the ambers up like that.
Just sometimes, when I packed wisely and got enough sense to behave while puffing.
Usually with my bruyeres.


I'm just rather ashamed of myself. Bad performance, that pipe doesn't deserve a barbarian like me.


Hey, maybe I could be the Beer King.
I finished the first three quarts and just got another three, they're still in the freezer. And with a few days of preparation I can go on all night and day like this, at least with beer.
With very sweet red wine - 3 quarts, rosé goes down much better and in hgher quantities.
With rum (40%) - 1.5 quarts over a period of 26 hours and no rest - very interesting and physically numbing experience.


I'm about to pack the 7th, 8th or 9th pipe for today. I don't remember... I definitely need to get some dark fired and/or sun cured Kentucky to get some more nicotine in my blends. And much more different Orientals.


I'm dragging on as usual... Being new there's too much to talk about and written words are much too long.
But just answering like a machine would seem much too uncaring and impersonal.

This world is a paradox Limbo.

@Chaukisch @Chasing Embers @The Amish Tyrant @brian64 Just downed a clay pipe of Condor Ready Rubbed in 1 minute 35 seconds!
The continuous breathing and blowing the smoke out of my nose definitely stokes the fire and makes the baccy burn hotter!
At the other end of the speed scale some of the people I met at the Nottingham pipe show were amazed how long I kept my clay burning
All hail the clay king !
Last time we had a King Charles, people wore wide brimmed hats and smoked clay pipes - a bit like me then!

 

[The Clay King]

@Chaukisch @Chasing Embers @brian64 @The Amish Tyrant Just had a breakfast bowl of Condor Ready Rubbed!
Giving up the clay pipes for next month as I'm doing Stoptober. Do you think the Clay King will miss his clays and baccy???
Giving my clays and lungs a rest but I've got a tin of Charlatan First Bowl and a packet of Captain Black Original to smoke in the next 2 weeks.
Do you think I'll have smoked them by the end of the month???

 

[Chasing Embers]

Do you think the Clay King will miss his clays and baccy???

Do you think I'll have smoked them by the end of the month???

Aye on both counts Your Highness!

 

[The Clay King]

Aye on both counts Your Highness!

@Chaukisch @Chasing Embers @The Amish Tyrant @brian64 Need to get some more plant material into my system

 

[The Clay King]

Maybe you could show them both ends of the spectrum. I'm sure you could make a clay last pretty long. The bowl I smoked the other day in my clay pipe lasted a little over an hour.

@coming to_falling too Well done !

 

[The Clay King]

@Chaukisch @Chasing Embers @The Amish Tyrant @brian64 @coming to_falling too Just downed another clay!
Still got 2 pouches of pipe baccy left; finished all the Condor now!

 

[The Clay King]

@Chaukisch @Chasing Embers @brian64 @The Amish Tyrant Just downed a clay pipe of Charlatan First Bowl in 1 minute 35 seconds!
All hail the clay king!

 

[The Clay King]

@Chaukisch @Chasing Embers @brian64 @The Amish Tyrant The Clay King downed his pipe in 1 minute 10 seconds!
All hail the clay king !

 

[Chaukisch]

The continuous breathing and blowing the smoke out of my nose definitely stokes the fire and makes the baccy burn hotter!

I thought it sounded good in my head. Glad to hear it works out.
You really seem to be sucking down the smoke like crazy right now. The King will need His stoptober to clean some muck off the crown jewels. But a whole month of abstinence is strong tobac on its own,
so stay strong and shine on you crazy diamond!
Are you gonna chew and/or snuff or abstain completely?

After a month of no nicote a good pipe should be a real kick in the head.

 

[The Clay King]

I thought it sounded good in my head. Glad to hear it works out.
You really seem to be sucking down the smoke like crazy right now. The King will need His stoptober to clean some muck off the crown jewels. But a whole month of abstinence is strong tobac on its own,
so stay strong and shine on you crazy diamond!
Are you gonna chew and/or snuff or abstain completely?

After a month of no nicote a good pipe should be a real kick in the head.

View attachment 169284

@Chaukisch Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. Still need to get all that pipe baccy down my throat before the month long abstinence
No tobacco at all during next month.
Going to take my clay pipe and baccy when I go for a pint this afternoon after my volunteer day at Bluebank Loops in Brimington.
A guy I met at the pub yesterday was impressed when I smoked a cigarillo in one drag!!!

 

[brian64]

Giving up the clay pipes for next month as I'm doing Stoptober.

What is this Stoptober nonsense? Must be something targeted at the peasantry.

Surely the Clay KIng will not be subjecting himself to such a thing.

 

[Chaukisch]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. Still need to get all that pipe baccy down my throat before the month long abstinence
No tobacco at all during next month.
Going to take my clay pipe and baccy when I go for a pint this afternoon after my volunteer day at Bluebank Loops in Brimington.
A guy I met at the pub yesterday was impressed when I smoked a cigarillo in one drag!!!

Everybody needs better health and more exercise in discipline, nothing bad can come from that.
I'm not too proud to say that the devil has a tighter clench on me than I on my pipes
but I'm made of strong clay so I feel secure and snug enough.
But good on you and godspeed for trying to break out of the devils vice. Even if just for a while.

What is this Stoptober nonsense? Must be something targeted at the peasantry.

Which always made them stronger while the King sat in his castle with his endless decadence and resulting gout, too weak to even step out on the balcony to yell at the healthy and strong plebeians and the terrible noise they make when they're happy.

 

[The Clay King]

Everybody needs better health and more exercise in discipline, nothing bad can come from that.
I'm not too proud to say that the devil has a tighter clench on me than I on my pipes
but I'm made of strong clay so I feel secure and snug enough.
But good on you and godspeed for trying to break out of the devils vice. Even if just for a while.


Which always made them stronger while the King sat in his castle with his endless decadence and resulting gout, too weak to even step out on the balcony to yell at the healthy and strong plebeians and the terrible noise they make when they're happy.

@Chaukisch Thanks for your encouragement!
Do you think I can do it???

 

[Chaukisch]

Do you think I can do it???

I managed to quit over night for about two years and I was in the right mindset but it's not that hard.
Anyone can do it.

 

[ThermionicScott]

Man, smoking a whole bowl in one minute is nuts! How do you not burn the shit out of your mouth?

Trying to imagine how someone could smoke a whole cigarette in one drag, too! Old video link is broken -- do you have another one?

 

[The Clay King]

Man, smoking a whole bowl in one minute is nuts! How do you not burn the shit out of your mouth?

Trying to imagine how someone could smoke a whole cigarette in one drag, too! Old video link is broken -- do you have another one?

@ThermionicScott It was after watching this video on YouTube that made me determined to do it:

There are a few videos of people smoking a cigarette in one drag on YouTube:

 

[The Clay King]

@The Amish Tyrant @Chaukisch @Chasing Embers @brian64 Smoked a clay pipe of Charatan First Bowl in 1minute 5 seconds earlier; got to keep practicing
Going to down another clay now!