Wife Hates The Smell - Any Advice?
- Thread starter scooterdoo
- Start date
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
Site Sponsors
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
- Status
Simple way to figure the solution: Are you considerate of others? Are you selfish?
If you want to stick with tobacco you'll need to "hose down" before returning to the house to keep her happy. If she's simply not that important, ignore her and the conflict will solve itself. I would suggest laying in a box of 30 gallon garbage bags though, should you choose the latter. Your stuff will be easier to haul to your new digs or, you could live in your veee-HICKLE.
If you want to stick with tobacco you'll need to "hose down" before returning to the house to keep her happy. If she's simply not that important, ignore her and the conflict will solve itself. I would suggest laying in a box of 30 gallon garbage bags though, should you choose the latter. Your stuff will be easier to haul to your new digs or, you could live in your veee-HICKLE.
I'm not qualified to comment, since my wife likes Latakia. And no, you can't have her. 
Apart from that, I'm a Frigate fan, so naturally I agree with Anthony's idea. Although Cosmic's ideas are often pretty good....
Apart from that, I'm a Frigate fan, so naturally I agree with Anthony's idea. Although Cosmic's ideas are often pretty good....
It's all a matter of "better than; worse than." Start a sulfur collection, and keep it in your bedroom. Be very passionate about it, show her that you enjoy sniffing the sulfur deeply and lovingly. She will be so grateful when she finally convinces you to give it up, that pipes will definitely be "better than". :
:
:
There's a reason men used to wear a smoking jacket. Add a fez if you have hair. You'll look nice and smell better when removed. My neighbors wish I would wear something under and besides the smoking jacket, but you win some you lose some.
+1 to Mikefu.
It’s pretty easy to deal with stinky clothes, but hair is a bigger issue imo. A hat helps. Depending on where you lie on the classic/ironic clothing spectrum, the smoking jacket and fez turn out to be amazingly practical garments for a pipe smoking gent. Much of the time though, smoke stink arguments aren’t about the smell at all. Even despite how cool your fez happens to be.
If none of the above helps it might be time to give VA’s a go full time. Or Grasmere flake.
It’s pretty easy to deal with stinky clothes, but hair is a bigger issue imo. A hat helps. Depending on where you lie on the classic/ironic clothing spectrum, the smoking jacket and fez turn out to be amazingly practical garments for a pipe smoking gent. Much of the time though, smoke stink arguments aren’t about the smell at all. Even despite how cool your fez happens to be.
If none of the above helps it might be time to give VA’s a go full time. Or Grasmere flake.
Since I gave up my pipe smoking in solidarity with my late wife who quit a multi-pack-a-day cigarette habit -- and I didn't bat an eye about doing it, entirely voluntary -- I'm not one to suggest giving up your wife about the issue (though I get and chuckle at the joke) ... I'd go along with smoking the robust smelling blends outdoors; using the smoking candle in a designated indoor area, along with air handling adjustments; finding the blends that offend the least (Virginias have been mentioned); using a smoking jacket to ritualize and enhance your smoking time; organizing indoor or outdoor smoking so your wife is out of the house or otherwise occupied. There are probably other possible adjustments. Moderating your smoking to the degree possible. Finding someone who you can live with, who can live with you, and (pardon the seeming sentimentality) love is a life project and comes before almost everything else. Making a habit of accommodating your partner is part of that.
All kidding aside. Is it the smell or is part of it the newborn? Or both?
If it was me, I would try to come to a compromise and switch to blend she can tolerate. If it's really about the baby...I would quit. I've been married 39 years and my wife and children have always been top priority.
Everyone is different. It's all up to you.
If it was me, I would try to come to a compromise and switch to blend she can tolerate. If it's really about the baby...I would quit. I've been married 39 years and my wife and children have always been top priority.
Everyone is different. It's all up to you.
Training my wife has been a slow, involved process. I started by listening to the Pipesmagazine Radioshow, while she was a captive audience. Brian emits a natural pheromone over the airwaves that soothes the savage tobacco-nazi. Then, she picked up on some of the pipe jargon through osmosis of me listening to Brian and his guests banter. Then, I started asking her about which blends that she liked the smell of. Eventually, I took her to the Briary to have her smell different blends to get "wife-approved" blends that she would like me to smoke around her.
Now, there is a bit of gaslighting that you will need to do. Not the GLP tobacco, but the psychological midfuck that is refered to in old movies. My wife picked out several godawful aromatics that she said she liked, that no self-respecting pipesmoker would ever put in a custom made pipe. So, you have to quietly dump the aromatic into the garbage, and take it out to the road, or she will catch on. Put whatever blends that you like to smoke into the tin. Then if she complains about a blend, just show her the tin and tell her, "funny, you picked this one out for me." or, "You liked this one at the store." Her not liking something you smoke has to be her fault. You are smoking this, because she approved it. "I only want to make you happy."
Make her feel included. But, maybe blame the pipe. "Baby, sometimes it's the pipe you smell, and not the tobacco. I'll gladly smoke it in another pipe, if it will make you happy," then maybe put a less aromatic Virginia in another pipe, something you think she would like...
My wife gave me an ugly rusticated Nording bulldog years ago, that looked like a turd on a stick. When I smoke it, I always put a burley fart blend in it when I smoke it. When she snarls her nose... "Baby, this is that blend that you picked out. It must be the pipe. This is the difference between a $70 pipe and a $300 pipe." The next Christmas, she gave me a Castello. I only smoke Virginas that she thinks she picked out that smelled like apricots in the tin in that pipe. She now loves Virginias and VaPers, and insists that I buy quality pipes.
It takes a while, but with some persistent mindfucking, she will soon be riding along side you in the car, requesting that you smoke Escudo in a top end Savinelli Autograph. Just keep old tins that she associates with something she once picked out, and constantly remind her that you are her knight in shining armor, smoking "only" to please her senses.
You'll get it, you just have to be persistent. ::
Now, there is a bit of gaslighting that you will need to do. Not the GLP tobacco, but the psychological midfuck that is refered to in old movies. My wife picked out several godawful aromatics that she said she liked, that no self-respecting pipesmoker would ever put in a custom made pipe. So, you have to quietly dump the aromatic into the garbage, and take it out to the road, or she will catch on. Put whatever blends that you like to smoke into the tin. Then if she complains about a blend, just show her the tin and tell her, "funny, you picked this one out for me." or, "You liked this one at the store." Her not liking something you smoke has to be her fault. You are smoking this, because she approved it. "I only want to make you happy."
Make her feel included. But, maybe blame the pipe. "Baby, sometimes it's the pipe you smell, and not the tobacco. I'll gladly smoke it in another pipe, if it will make you happy," then maybe put a less aromatic Virginia in another pipe, something you think she would like...
My wife gave me an ugly rusticated Nording bulldog years ago, that looked like a turd on a stick. When I smoke it, I always put a burley fart blend in it when I smoke it. When she snarls her nose... "Baby, this is that blend that you picked out. It must be the pipe. This is the difference between a $70 pipe and a $300 pipe." The next Christmas, she gave me a Castello. I only smoke Virginas that she thinks she picked out that smelled like apricots in the tin in that pipe. She now loves Virginias and VaPers, and insists that I buy quality pipes.
It takes a while, but with some persistent mindfucking, she will soon be riding along side you in the car, requesting that you smoke Escudo in a top end Savinelli Autograph. Just keep old tins that she associates with something she once picked out, and constantly remind her that you are her knight in shining armor, smoking "only" to please her senses.
You'll get it, you just have to be persistent. :
:
It might not even be the piping at all. Maybe she's stressed out, and/or something else is bothering her; and the smell of the smoke is the one thing she's find more tangible to complain about and/or let out the steam. Now, I'm not knocking her off –far from me to do so; but what I'm saying is that through communication the real issue can be found and dealt with. But that's something nobody here can help with.
Personally, I reckon there are far worse pollutants and 'dangerous' things in a household environment for a newborn to be breathing in than the scent of tobacco. And please, don't get me started with that '3rd hand smoke' BS. Anyway, alas, far gone are the days when the 'pipe smell was the smell of fatherhood', and what with all the panic about tobacco and all, her maternal instinc might be kicking in and she doesn't want even the smallest whiff of anything smoke-smelling near her child. Again, only you, Scooterdoo, can find that out, and it's entirely up to you as a couple to find a solution.
In the meanwhile, I'd try to accommodate her. Switch to a blend that smells pleasant, get a jacket, smoke only every other day... &c., &c. If she sees that you take her concerns seriously and try to find a compromise, she might even be OK with the occasional lat bomb. I'd do this before the issue escalates into a contest of wills and the mistaken belief that the only solutions are extreme measures (i.e. 'the pipe or me').
- Status