What do you do with all your empty tins??
The title of this thread reminded me of a story from James Herriot's book titled
All Creatures Great and Small wherein Siegfried is trying to find a way to get rid of a difficult client named Cranford. Siegfried asks his hapless brother Tristan to mail a used treacle tin full of fecal matter to the laboratory for testing, and while he is at the Post Office to mail a tin of ointment to Mr. Cranford for use on one of his sick hogs. Herriot continues the story:
"It took only three days for Mr. Cranford's name to come up again. Siegfried was opening the morning mail, throwing the circulars to one side and making a pile of bills and receipts when he became suddenly very still. He had frozen over a letter on blue notepaper and he sat like a statue till he read it through. At length he raised his head; his face was expressionless. 'James, this is just about the most vitriolic letter I have ever read. It's from Cranford. He's finished with us for good and all and is considering taking legal action against us.'
'What have we done this time?' I asked.
'He accuses us of grossly insulting him and endangering the health of his boar. He says we sent him a treacle tin full of cow shit with instructions to rub it on the boar's back three times daily.'
"Tristan, who had been sitting with his eyes half closed, became fully awake. He rose unhurridly and began to make his way towards the door. His hand was on the knob when his brother's voice thundered out.
'Tristan! Come back here! Sit down -- I think that we have something to talk about.'
"Tristan looked up resolutely, waiting for the storm to break, but Siegfried was unexpectedly calm. His voice was gentle.
'So you've done it again. When will I ever learn that I can't trust you to carry out the simplest task? It wasn't too much to ask, was it? Two little parcels to post--hardly a tough assignment. But you managed to botch it. You got the labels wrong, didn't you?'
"Tristan wiggled in his chair. 'I'm sorry, I can't imagine how...'
"Siegfried held up his hand. 'Oh, don't worry. Your usual luck has come to your aid. With anybody else this bloomer would be catastrophic but with Cranford--it's like devine providence.' He paused for a moment and a dreamy expression crept into his eyes. 'The label said to work it well in with the fingers, I seem to recall. And Mr. Cranford opened the package at the breakfast table... Yes, Tristan, I think you have found the way. This, I do believe, has done it.'
"I said, 'But how about the legal action?'
'Oh, I think we can forget about that. Mr. Cranford has a great sense of his own dignity. Just think how it will sound in court.' He crumpled the letter and dropped it into the wastepaper basket. 'Well, let's get on with some work.'"