CALLING ALL CARS! CALLING ALL CARS! BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ONE JIMINKS. REPEAT, BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ONE JIMINKS.
INDIVIDUAL IS KNOWN TO FREQUENTLY FREQUENT THE PIPESMAGAZINE.COM FORUMS, PARTICULARLY THE "WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING?" THREAD, BUT HAS NOT BEEN HEARD FROM THERE FOR SEVERAL HOURS. CONCERNED PARTIES REPORT THIS TO BE EXTREMELY UNUSUAL BEHAVIOR FOR THIS INDIVIDUAL, AND THEY SUSPECT FOUL PLAY...OR BAD PIPE-TOBACCO.
PLEASE REPORT TO DISPATCHER WITH ANY SIGHTINGS OF OR NEWS ABOUT THIS INDIVIDUAL.
THAT IS ALL.