Welcome to the first-ever “Christmas Edition” of Trustworthy Tobacco Review Company’s Tobacco Review.
As many of you know, I haven’t written a review in a long time. The reason is that I was never financially compensated for any of my previous reviews. I know that many of my dear readers would be shocked to find out that Trustworthy Tobacco Review Company would do something so untrustworthy. Believe me, I was shocked too! I did everything right. I started Trustworthy Tobacco Review Company, I began writing reviews and publishing them here on the forums, and yet I never received payment from TTRC. I do not know who is in charge of payroll, as I am just the CEO and Chief Writer, so I haven’t found the proper person to direct my grievance to. But, in the spirit of the season, despite my maltreatment, I am taking the high road. I am going to think of you, my dear readers, and not of myself. In a demonstration of my exemplary humility, I am writing this special edition Christmas Tobacco review, knowing that I will most likely never be compensated for my work. But, dear reader, informing you about these tobaccos will have to be reward enough. For the one or two people who aren’t familiar with my work, I’m going to give you a detailed and in-depth review of a tobacco, based solely on the tin art. Because we all know, that only ugly people believe that you cannot judge a book by its cover.
For the extra special, first-ever “Christmas Edition” of Trustworthy Tobacco Review Company’s Tobacco Review, we’ll be taking a look at Sutliff Cringle Flake 2024.
Now, in order to decipher the art on this particular tin, I think it requires a particular set of skills. Luckily, I possess this particular set of skills. I gained them from watching conspiracy theory videos on YouTube from around 2005-2009. You remember, the good ol’ days. Reptilian shape-shifters, fema camps, Bohemian Grove. I digress. Let's get back to the tin art. The Santa on the tin is a distraction. He's there, front and center, to send the message that Cringle Flake is all about Christmas. But, the more observant among us will notice some subtle, yet glaring details. The first is an emblem featuring a capital S beneath a Griffin.
Now, one could easily dismiss this as a Sutliff logo, if it weren't for the Red Cardinal on Santa's shoulder. But what could this all mean? I'm going to tell you. The Capital S? That stands for Spain. The Red Cardinal? Clearly and allusion to Catholic Church. Now, when you take Spain, and the Catholic Church and factor in the Griffin things become obvious. Ferdinand II of Aragon. Widely considered the first King of Spain! Here's his coat of arms.
Also known as Ferdinand the Catholic, with his wife Queen Isabella, known as the Catholic Monarchs. Now, you may be asking yourself, what in the world does a 16th century Spanish Monarch have to do with tobacco? I'm glad you asked. King Ferdinand is very famous for the UNIFICATION of Spain. This brings us to our final detail. Notice that odd square next to the Cardinal. U!? A capital U for unification, followed by an exclamation point, and a question mark, showing the mixed reaction to Fersinand’s unification of Spain at the time. I think this lends itself to a twofold interpretation. The first is that, way back in 2019 Cringle Flake was released as a straight Virginia blend, but in all subsequent years, it was a Virginia/Perique blend. Now this year, Sutliff has presented a Unified red Virginia Flake. This will surely divide fans. Some will exclaim with joy at the pure Red Virginia, others will question where their beloved Louisiana Leaf has gone. The second, deeper and somewhat darker interpretation speaks to the STG unification of brands. Some will celebrate this and applaud as a genius business move necessary for the survival of pipe tobacco. Others will undoubtedly question why the little guys can't stay little and still play the game.
4 Star blend for lovers of Red Virginia and strength in numbers. Not reccomended for separatists.
Disclaimer: Blame @Ahi Ka
As many of you know, I haven’t written a review in a long time. The reason is that I was never financially compensated for any of my previous reviews. I know that many of my dear readers would be shocked to find out that Trustworthy Tobacco Review Company would do something so untrustworthy. Believe me, I was shocked too! I did everything right. I started Trustworthy Tobacco Review Company, I began writing reviews and publishing them here on the forums, and yet I never received payment from TTRC. I do not know who is in charge of payroll, as I am just the CEO and Chief Writer, so I haven’t found the proper person to direct my grievance to. But, in the spirit of the season, despite my maltreatment, I am taking the high road. I am going to think of you, my dear readers, and not of myself. In a demonstration of my exemplary humility, I am writing this special edition Christmas Tobacco review, knowing that I will most likely never be compensated for my work. But, dear reader, informing you about these tobaccos will have to be reward enough. For the one or two people who aren’t familiar with my work, I’m going to give you a detailed and in-depth review of a tobacco, based solely on the tin art. Because we all know, that only ugly people believe that you cannot judge a book by its cover.
For the extra special, first-ever “Christmas Edition” of Trustworthy Tobacco Review Company’s Tobacco Review, we’ll be taking a look at Sutliff Cringle Flake 2024.
Now, in order to decipher the art on this particular tin, I think it requires a particular set of skills. Luckily, I possess this particular set of skills. I gained them from watching conspiracy theory videos on YouTube from around 2005-2009. You remember, the good ol’ days. Reptilian shape-shifters, fema camps, Bohemian Grove. I digress. Let's get back to the tin art. The Santa on the tin is a distraction. He's there, front and center, to send the message that Cringle Flake is all about Christmas. But, the more observant among us will notice some subtle, yet glaring details. The first is an emblem featuring a capital S beneath a Griffin.
Now, one could easily dismiss this as a Sutliff logo, if it weren't for the Red Cardinal on Santa's shoulder. But what could this all mean? I'm going to tell you. The Capital S? That stands for Spain. The Red Cardinal? Clearly and allusion to Catholic Church. Now, when you take Spain, and the Catholic Church and factor in the Griffin things become obvious. Ferdinand II of Aragon. Widely considered the first King of Spain! Here's his coat of arms.
Also known as Ferdinand the Catholic, with his wife Queen Isabella, known as the Catholic Monarchs. Now, you may be asking yourself, what in the world does a 16th century Spanish Monarch have to do with tobacco? I'm glad you asked. King Ferdinand is very famous for the UNIFICATION of Spain. This brings us to our final detail. Notice that odd square next to the Cardinal. U!? A capital U for unification, followed by an exclamation point, and a question mark, showing the mixed reaction to Fersinand’s unification of Spain at the time. I think this lends itself to a twofold interpretation. The first is that, way back in 2019 Cringle Flake was released as a straight Virginia blend, but in all subsequent years, it was a Virginia/Perique blend. Now this year, Sutliff has presented a Unified red Virginia Flake. This will surely divide fans. Some will exclaim with joy at the pure Red Virginia, others will question where their beloved Louisiana Leaf has gone. The second, deeper and somewhat darker interpretation speaks to the STG unification of brands. Some will celebrate this and applaud as a genius business move necessary for the survival of pipe tobacco. Others will undoubtedly question why the little guys can't stay little and still play the game.
4 Star blend for lovers of Red Virginia and strength in numbers. Not reccomended for separatists.
Disclaimer: Blame @Ahi Ka
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