Those who Murder their Spouses

[Grangerous]

I don't need a Crystal Ball to see your Domestic Situation oh so clearly
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"You're bucking for another Time-Out in the garage sitting on that Home Depot bucket,... and NO pipe, Mr "Grangerous" !!!"

- Sherm '20/20' Natman

Sherms? Question. If I’m alone in the woods.. and I say something.. and me wife’s not around to hear it….

Am I still wrong?

 

[tbradsim1]

Got a wife killer pipe, his nephew got his pipes when he passed, his Uncle was in the CIA in Virginia, he killed his wife and cut her up threw her in the Dempsey dumpster. I don’t remember the brand but he got it from a well known carver firsthand in italy. His nephew liked one of my pipes and we traded. Told wife if I start smoking that pipe BE CAREFUL!

 

[anotherbob]

And she doesn’t want to kill me! At least, not that I know of!

Oh dear no one explained marriage to you. Of course she wants to kill you just at least half the time. It's once it all day every day that you have to watch out. Seriously I shouldn't be the person that has to tell you this.

 

[anotherbob]

Japan is a truly odd place. Ever hear about the Japanese cannibal killer who did his awful deed in France to a French woman, was deported back to Japan, released after two years, wrote restaurant reviews and became a celebrity? You can’t make this stuff up! I won’t link to the Wikipedia. It’s awful but easy to find the entry.

In Japan he got put in an asylum type treatment place. They basically deemed him sane (which seems a bit off, but not my field so...). I know too much about those kind of stories.

 

[Servant King]

And she doesn’t want to kill me! At least, not that I know of!

Ditto! Hence the need to diligently and frequently check all our jarred blends for traces of cyanide and/or asbestos.

 

[kcghost]

Spousal murder usually begins with the phrase "You cheating.......".

 

[mso489]

I think it's healthy to withhold understanding of evil doing so as not to indulge in rationalization. It's just a bad example to be avoided. Imagining reasons for doing horrible things isn't productive.

Alexander Pope came up with this ditty, which some of us remember from high school, with apologies for any slippage in my memory of it:

Vice is a monster of so frightful a mein,
to be hated needs but to be seen,
but seen too oft, too familiar with its face,
we first pity, then endure, then embrace.

That doesn't mean we cannot forgive, in some higher minded way, but you don't have to reconcile.

 

[olkofri]

If you ever hear a husband say, "My wife won't let me.......", it's often a red flag.

Or SWMBO, instead of SWMO.

 

[ThermionicScott]

My wife can't get enough of those British murder mystery/police procedural shows. And baking shows.

So I have to live with the knowledge that she could probably do away with me and bake herself a tasty dessert to celebrate, and get away with it...

 

[shermnatman]

Sherms? Question. If I’m alone in the woods.. and I say something.. and me wife’s not around to hear it….

Am I still wrong?

Of course!

- Sherm Natman

 

[mso489]

When I was a veterans benefit counselor after I got out of the Navy and then grad school, I was asked by the VA to visit the wife of another employee who had died, a grand old man of a retired colonel who I had liked a lot.

The wife was also a spirited and convivial person. She was gracious in accepting condolences, even humorous. She said when her husband was alive that a friend had asked her if she'd ever considered divorce over her long career as an Army officer's wife. Her snappy comeback was, "I never considered divorce. Murder yes, but never divorce."

When I visited the colonel in the hospital on the VA's behalf, he had patiently explained to me the proper way to plant azaleas in Carolina soil.

One of his sayings about aging that I have always remembered was:

The new broom sweeps cleanest, but the old broom knows where the dirt is.

 

[puff_not_snuff]

OP I enjoyed reading your OP.

To answer your question: no I do not believe it is right to murder one's spouse to get on Dateline.

 

[Merton]

Among the very creepiest and unfunny threads of all time on the forum.

 

[warren]

When I was growing up we called them "Spenard Divorces." Spenard being an unincorporate suburb of Anchorage at the time. It was lower income for what that's worth. I attended a numbe of such over the years. This includes one where the husbad shot and killed his wife because she overcooked the Thanksgiving turkey. You know that marriage had to have been "wonky" for several years. That wasn't the only one over the years where cooking was blamed for incident.

 

[milk]

OP I enjoyed reading your OP.

To answer your question: no I do not believe it is right to murder one's spouse to get on Dateline.

Thanks! It’s not a happy topic but, happily married as I am, it’s ok.

When I was growing up we called them "Spenard Divorces." Spenard being an unincorporate suburb of Anchorage at the time. It was lower income for what that's worth. I attended a numbe of such over the years. This includes one where the husbad shot and killed his wife because she overcooked the Thanksgiving turkey. You know that marriage had to have been "wonky" for several years. That wasn't the only one over the years where cooking was blamed for incident.

I live as an expat in Japan and it’s funny to see how many criminals here give the excuse of “stress” for their crime. That or being drunk and not remembering.

 

[woodsroad]

Spousal homicide is a crime of convenience. She’s homicidal and he’s convenient.

 

[LeafErikson]

If you live across-the-pond and she comes at you with a knife in hand, pull out a jar of mayonnaise or vegimite — her female instincts will take over and she’ll make you a sammich.

I am fuckin dead bro