The Pencil Shank Pipe Hazard (for purchasers)

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georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
6,029
16,416
I don't know for sure but I posted about it a few months ago. I used fire place patch to fill in an over reamed bowl and if I didn't smoke it for a while it started doing this. I sanded it down and let it be and now it looks like this. I haven't smoked it, I just let it set in a drawer and now it's really going to town. Started like this, and now... well as you can see above, it's gotten bigger.

Oh boy...

That's an E. vampirium toxic mold bloom coupled with a lethal percentage of X. zombieform killsyourassus.

Just "set it in a drawer" is exactly what the stuff wants you to do. It expands at night, and grows in the direction of carbon dioxide exhalation sources. Meaning it will slowly crawl up your nose and into your throat and lungs while you are sleeping.

But it gets worse... It becomes hyper-activated after sensing that its intended victims have become aware of it, and then travels several feet per second.

Meaning, in the time it took you to read this, it got you.

Sorry man. Mother Nature don't play nice, sometimes.

The good news is the zombie phase when it gets into your brain doesn't start for 10-12 hours, so you still have time to send all your pipes and tobacco to Kevin, who will be glad to distribute it to the rest of the board.


Screen Shot 2023-05-05 at 2.09.36 PM.png
 

agnosticpipe

Lifer
Nov 3, 2013
3,412
3,824
In the sticks in Mississippi
Oh boy...

That's an E. vampirium toxic mold bloom coupled with a lethal percentage of X. zombieform killsyourassus.

Just "set it in a drawer" is exactly what the stuff wants you to do. It expands at night, and grows in the direction of carbon dioxide exhalation sources. Meaning it will slowly crawl up your nose and into your throat and lungs while you are sleeping.

But it gets worse... It becomes hyper-activated after sensing that its intended victims have become aware of it, and then travels several feet per second.

Meaning, in the time it took you to read this, it got you.

Sorry man. Mother Nature don't play nice, sometimes.

The good news is the zombie phase when it gets into your brain doesn't start for 10-12 hours, so you still have time to send all your pipes and tobacco to Kevin, who will be glad to distribute it to the rest of the board.


View attachment 219996
Shiiit, and I was worried about Covid! I'll put it in a sealed isolation chamber after spraying the house with Zom-B-Gone, and see what happens. Thanks for the heads up George. You've alway got your finger on the pulse of pipe problems, for which we are all grateful.
 
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UB 40

Lifer
Jul 7, 2022
1,349
9,800
62
Cologne/ Germany
nahbesprechung.net
I don't know for sure but I posted about it a few months ago. I used fire place patch to fill in an over reamed bowl and if I didn't smoke it for a while it started doing this. I sanded it down and let it be and now it looks like this. I haven't smoked it, I just let it set in a drawer and now it's really going to town. Started like this, and now... well as you can see above, it's gotten bigger.
View attachment 219978

You said it’s fireplace mortar, so it’s not dangerous at all it’s a quite common phenomenon in concrete, the efflorescence of lime. Won’t smoke it anyways.

But those pencil shanks are quite beautiful in my opinion, maybe not made for anyones paw.
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
6,029
16,416
Alrighty, then...

Exasperated but not surprised.

Made it halfway from point A to point B in terms of drill-size increase-in-steps on the way to the SS OD before things locked up and the wood came apart.

Looks like the only option with this pipe is to glue THOSE pieces back together and just smoke it without reinforcement (which is guaranteed to fail after a while because the fractures will wick moisture, which in turn will soften the wood that the glue is attached to.)

This entire situation is 100% unnecessary and really really really really really really really really really really really really STUPID.

Like manufacturing and selling a kitchen knife with a glass blade, or shoe laces that break when pulled with more than a few ounces of pressure.


Screen Shot 2023-05-05 at 6.24.45 PM.png
 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
6,029
16,416
I'm a fan of pencil shanks myself.
The more fragile looking the better - still have never broken one.

*knocks on briar*

What's happening with all this is two pipes can both "be" pencil shanks but vastly different in strength and ruggedness.

The pipe that's the subject of the thread has a 7.5 mm shank. Which is 44 square mm of cross sectional area.

If the shank diameter was increased only slightly to 10 mm it would still easily "qualify" as a pencil shank, but the amount of briar would almost double to 78.5 square mm. (Probably more than double when the airway is allowed for)

12.5 mm would triple the surface area.

And so on.

But briar's strength as a structural material is a constant (in relative terms).
 

Toast

Part of the Furniture Now
Feb 15, 2021
662
1,331
UK
12.5 mm would triple the surface area
Thanks, that's really useful & will guide me in future purchases. This sort of post is invaluable! You mentioned an industry standard for the heel. Is that 6mm?
 
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Reactions: UB 40