The Last Estate

[woodsroad]

I have just purchased my last estate pipe. It was an eBay purchse, a nice Ehlich bulldog, but surprise, surprise, it was completely occluded with 1Q Slime. It is a substance so vile, so ubiquitously toxic that Sadam Houssain had stockpiles of it approaching 3 million pounds. The Danes have proposed a 1Q Slime Non-Proliferation Treaty. To paraphrase the slogan of a laundry detergent of my youth, "You try scrubbing it out, you try boiling it out, but you still end up with IQ Slime Inside The Pipe". And on your fingers, under your nails and up your nose.
So unless I can personally inspect a used pipe before purchase, or I can trust a known seller to certify that a pipe is 1Q Free, I will never again buy a used pipe.
I have cleaned 1Q from the last estate.

 

[jah76]

Woods! Thats how I feel about estates waxed with Halcyon wax.
Hope she smokes good for you.

 

[Perique]

The issue sounds like EBay rather than estate pipes. There are plenty of reputable specialty dealers that sell clean, wonderful estate pipes. On ebay you just get a used pipe.

 

[captainsousie]

Sounds like you need to get a retort. A bit of work with shank brushes and pipe cleaners (sometimes drill bits if you are careful) followed by a good retorting will get goo/gunk out in a jiffy.

 

[latbomber]

I still think lakeland estates are worse, but I feel your pain.

 

[woodsroad]

Sounds like you need to get a retort. A bit of work with shank brushes and pipe cleaners (sometimes drill bits if you are careful) followed by a good retorting will get goo/gunk out in a jiffy.

I have the Mother of All Retorts. Built it out of stuff that I had lying around, starting with a 100ml boiling flask, lab stand, mantle heater..yada etc. I have drill bits and a chuck handle. I have bore brushes: nylon, brass and stainless steel. I have alcohol: Everclear, Bacardi 151 and VSOP Cognac. I have an Ozone Chamber.
1Q is stronger than all that. It is the blend that the cockroaches will be smoking after The Apocalypse.
@jah76: 'splain me the problem with Halcyon...
@latbomber: Perhaps that's the other "aroma" that plagues me....
@Perique: Right you are.

 

[warren]

Do I detect a slight distaste for 1Q?
Perhaps a wee nip of the old Jameson would help. Then, and this is only a suggestion, you should take a large hammer and render the offending pipe hors de combat. Follow this with a wee bit of the Jameson. I would suggest that you follow this with a dose of the "2 hat cure."
"What," you ask. "Is the two hat cure?"
Take the remaining Jameson with into the bedroom. Perform any normal ablutions and then, just before you climb into bed, place a hat on the bed post, put the Jameson on the bed table. Climb into the safe haven of your bed, get comfy and then take a drink yet another wee drop of the whiskey. Perhaps read a page or two of your book and then repeat the Jameson treatment. Continue dosing until you see two hats at the end of the bed. Put the book down, slip down into the covers and sleep away. I guarantee you will feel better in the morning, particularly when you see the remnants of the offending pipe and get over the raging hangover.
Luck to you my friend. This to shall pass.

 

[woodsroad]

Warren, that is the kind of sage advice that I come to this forum for.

Thank you.
1Q: I bought 4 oz. I tried it. One bowl. Smoked the whole thing. It wasn't bad. Wasn't bad in a way that smoking freshly laundered socks might not be too bad. That is, if it was the only thing left in the world to smoke, I suppose I'd try it again, but there are more appropriate places for it to be than in one of my pipes.

 

[warren]

As doctors and nurses like to ask as they sweep into the room all hale and hearty: "And, how are we this morning?"

 

[woodsroad]

My brain is snowed in.

That's how we are.

 

[jah76]

@jah76: 'splain me the problem with Halcyon...

Mainly being when people apply too much of it. It goes on clear but if it's over applied or not buffed in properly it dries with a white film that gets into every nook and cranny. Woe to you if the pipe is rusticated.
I don't think it's a bad product, but more a bad application issue. I've had a fair number of estates come in with "ick" on them.
Honestly anymore I don't even wax my own pipes. I just keep them clean with a cloth.

 

[woodsroad]

wax my own pipes

There's a euphemism there, but I can't put my finger on it....
Yes, I know what you are saying. I have used Halcyon (not Halcion) on rusticated and hand-carved figural pipes, and it requires the use of toothbrushes of varying degrees of hardness to properly get it worked in, then worked out.
It looks good when properly done, but frankly, it's not worth it.
On smooth, matte finish pipes, it's very nice.

 

[buster]

You could always send that pipe my way? I'll smoke more 1Q threw it to freshen it up..... ::