Terrible Business Ideas or Money Laundering?

[Sigmund]

Several points...

People will buy anything.
Rich people do odd things
It could be very profitable for the franchise owners and terrible for the shop operator
Tax games and tax avoidance knows many faces and slick moves

While it could be money laundering but its making a lot of noise for that. Quiet and unnoticed is probably better.

 

[anotherbob]

money laundering actually works better with things that are visibly profitable. A lot easier to run the money through that. You know what's great for it??? Art. Why it's hard to put a solid market value for something like that. You know the old no accounting for taste. Now we at least have one plausible explanation for certain prices on high end pipes.

 

[Sigmund]

I guess I was thinking one would not want to money launder (unless your really good) with a franchise and interstate laws.

But then what do I know? I dont have the kind of cash that need cleaning. It doesnt stick around that long.

 

[BingBong]

In the UK, it's barbershops. In the last few years, they've appeared like mushrooms, Turkish, Syrian, 4 or 5 to a street.

 

[mawnansmiff]

Is it that people are dumb? Is it a money laundering front? Am I missing something?

Well the fact that they can't spell crumble should tell you all you need to know.

Jay.

 

[JOHN72]

In the UK, it's barbershops. In the last few years, they've appeared like mushrooms, Turkish, Syrian, 4 or 5 to a street.

Here too, in addition to the kebab and phone stores. Money laundering to finance jihad, drugs, organized crime, and everything bad that can exist on this planet.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Restaurants… at home, when we still had our business open about ten years ago, a guy who had created a website for independent truck drivers to pick up and track loads, sold the website for a small fortune. He then sunk a million dollars into “leasing” four of the old buildings in town, gutting them and making a very large restaurant. He spent a year doing it all himself. He was a cigar guy. I could always find him by tracking the smoke, ha ha.

Anyways, he got it open, stayed open for six months, and had a heart attack. He didn’t die, but he ended up letting the lease run out. Since then, there have been six other restaurants in there, none lasting more than a year, till the guy who owned the building set up his own steakhouse there. He takes a loss also, but he has the money to keep it open. In talking to him on our morning walks, restaurants just seem like a very bad idea also. But, plausible.

 

[mawnansmiff]

restaurants just seem like a very bad idea also

That's where your fire insurance can prove to be useful after all

Jay.

 

[Streeper541]

They've got one of those Crumbl cookie places a few towns away in our county seat, which is a hip, booming, affluent suburb of Cleveland. My 17 y/o daughter raves about the place. I've had better cookies from the bakery at Walmart.

I'm glad I live on the western edge of the county where it's still rural farmland and our fanciest business in town is the feed store.

 

[Snook]

Crumbl is a company created by two dudes that had no baking experience and just wanted to make money. They make godawful cookies whose popularity solely depends on idiot influencers from the internet who review the different flavors and get other idiots to go out and do the same. There is a video on YouTube that talks about their business model in-depth, and how it isn't sustainable - I think it was Modern MBA or something. They used to be wildly popular where I live in Idaho (which makes sense as the company originated in Utah), but it seems that people are kind of realizing that they suck. You can make infinitely better cookies at home just throwing some flour, sugar, butter and egg together.

Of course there are copycat companies with the exact same business model and cookies that are just as terrible. Chip is another one in my area.

I just don't get fads like the cookie thing. Or the cupcake thing a few years before. People are weird.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I think I’ll create a spread for when the one at a time donut shop will close. Let people pick a week and drop $5 on it.

Yeh, Mrs Cosmic looked up that the CRUMBL place is a Mormon based company. Interesting, about the influencers.

 

[Kobold]

We had a fancy local donut shop that made horrible tasting but nice looking vegan donuts. They constantly sold out of the donuts and never could figure out that they should probably make more. The owners would then insult people for getting angry that they drove long distances for their donuts. They eventually went out of business. Shocking.

 

[Sigmund]

I think I’ll create a spread for when the one at a time donut shop will close. Let people pick a week and drop $5 on it.

Yeh, Mrs Cosmic looked up that the CRUMBL place is a Mormon based company. Interesting, about the influencers.

Ah,,,another cult based operation. Definitely probably laundering funds.

 

[Auxsender]

Mrs Cosmic and I drink our morning coffee across from a fancy part of the beach. We had asked about retail space there, just because we are always brainstorming. $20,000 a month. About four months now, we noticed that the same building across from our coffee spot had only a small logo on the door, “CRUMBL”, no description, no advertising, no one going in or out. Curious about what kind if business was going to bring in more than $20,000 a month. You’d at least need to double that to make it worth the effort.

We went in, and it was cookies. Six varieties, some made of crumbled store bought cookies, like Oreos. $3.95 a cookie. WTF? They do Uber, but still. They also cater… just cookies.
Still…. For Four months, we never seen anyone go in or out. They showed no interest in making a sale when we went in there. We stood there for five minutes, before someone told us to order a cookie from an iPad in the remote corner of the empty room. We spent a tad under $9 for 2 very “meh” cookie.

Back to our coffee spot, and struck up a conversation with other snowbirds, and they laughed and told us about the other $20,000 a month building that had a donut shop in it. A 20something making a fresh 3” donut, made to order one… at… a… time… So, we checked it out. Ordered 6, and it took him 30 minutes. I asked him how long it takes to get a dozen, and he told me an hour. His dad is making him prove himself in business… Ha ha. Not winning.

Is it that people are dumb? Is it a money laundering front? Am I missing something?

Don’t get me started on the soap stores. Homemade soap, sold bar by bar… in a $20,000 a month building. Do they even sign a lease? Do some math? I don’t get it.

Are these just write-off businesses for wives, kids, relatives?

What are some other terrible businesses you’ve seen out there? Things that don’t add up?

I think about this topic frequently.
How does a business whose most expensive item is $5 pay tens of thousands per month in rent? Massive volume is the only way.

Here in Nashville, rents both residential and commercial have skyrocketed over the last 5ish years.
I have no idea how anyone makes money in a retail environment in this town or any other town that has high rent.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I think about this topic frequently.
How does a business whose most expensive item is $5 pay tens of thousands per month in rent? Massive volume is the only way.

Here in Nashville, rents both residential and commercial have skyrocketed over the last 5ish years.
I have no idea how anyone makes money in a retail environment in this town or any other town that has high rent.

The ideal is to buy the building. Rent is for suckers. We stayed in business till we had the building paid for and sold it for our retirement. I have no idea how a long term ma and pa could afford to ever retire with throwing their money away like that.

But, the whole concept of developing outdoor themed malls is forcing small businesses to make a terrible decision.

 

[Auxsender]

The ideal is to buy the building. Rent is for suckers. We stayed in business till we had the building paid for and sold it for our retirement. I have no idea how a long term ma and pa could afford to ever retire with throwing their money away like that.

But, the whole concept of developing outdoor themed malls is forcing small businesses to make a terrible decision.

100%

 

[Hillcrest]

What are some other terrible businesses you’ve seen out there? Things that don’t add up?

Utility Companies - water, electric, oil, phone ; banks, credit card companies, insurance companies, healthcare companies, pipes sold from Japan, car dealership repair departments, Dutch tobacco companies ... to start ...

 

[LeafErikson]

That's where your fire insurance can prove to be useful after all

Jay.

Classic Tony Soprano move.

 

[coming to_falling too]

Classic Tony Soprano move.

You know, Quasimodo predicted this

 

[woodsroad]

My daughter lived in a once bustling neighborhood in Pittsburgh (Bloomfield) for several years. At one time it had been predominantly Italian and Jewish, with great, affordable homes and a shopping street (Penn Ave) that runs across the city. But it had been on a downward slide for decades.

Developers started buying up the buildings on Penn when it hit rock bottom, building out some really nice retail spaces. Then COVID slammed on the brakes, and nothing moved. So they started leasing these new storefronts to art galleries, non-profits etc and very reduced, maybe free, rents. Now there’s music, street cocktails and a vibrant edge that developers crave, but seldom know how to create. Genius move. No vacant storefronts, lots of foot traffic. And they build the neighborhood into an artsy-fartsy retail destination. In time, the success of these low rent tenants will price them out of the market, franchises will move in, and fuck it all up.