Telling my Parents I Started Smoking

[tklee]

Agreed, If you're staying with your parents, respect them, respect their wish. I'm 44, I never smoke a single puff in front of my parents before.

Every parents will find it hard to accept when they first found out what their children do that against their wish. Especially it comes to smoking. To them, everything that comes from tobacco is addictive. And addiction is bad. Slowly, you're only 18 this year. If you live until 100 year old, you still have 82 years to enjoy your pipe, or whatever you want to do.

So, slowly. Don't rush in. It's been 18 years they know that you don't smoke, or won't smoke, don't expect 1 year they'll accept that you smoke.

 

[Papamique]

Be honest and at the same time listen to them and try not to become defensive. Let them know that you understand what may happen and that despite the risks you intend to continue but appreciate their feedback and love and support and because of this are being an honest man like they have taught you to be.

Trying to see things from the others perspective and genuinely listening to the other side of things is very hard and takes courage and humility. Who knows, you may change your mind and if not, although it is a difficult conversation you have made your peace and shown them, hopefully, what a strong, intelligent young man they have raised.

 

[warren]

How old are you anyway? You've made the rather selfish decision to smoke, all of us here have. Actions have consequences. Live with it! I'm sure smoking isn't the only decision you've made that will disappoint your parents. There will, undoubtedly, be more. Tel them if you must or don't and get on with your life..

 

[brian64]

Tell your parents that your girlfriend is pregnant, you got drunk and wrecked your car and the gun wasn’t your. After all that, pipe smoking will seem trivial.

Nice try, but it's 2023...there is really nothing that is going to make any form of tobacco use seem trivial.

 

[bullet08]

No. It's between you and your parents. I'm not getting in that fight. You think I'm crazy?

 

[Doctor Chopper]

Put the pipe in a drawer, and wait until you are 25 and have a fully developed brain.

 

[Icepiper]

Put the pipe in a drawer, and wait until you are 25 and have a fully developed brain.

No thanks

 

[Doctor Chopper]

Nice try... but no thanks

Well then...

You can drag out the pain and try to hide it adding deceit and use the advice above, or you can come clean. Again, I would be respectful of your parents.

 

[OSOBUCO]

Lotsa good advice here. For me when I look back on the advice my parents gave me it was almost always right especially when i ignored it. Now I have sons and it seems they do the opposite of what i advise and I guess that’s karma. Dont get me wrong they are great sons but we all gotta figure it out for ourselves to a degree dont we. You sound like a good chap. You’ll be ok and so will your folks. Peace

PS. I started the pipe serious at the age of 57 and Im in healthcare. Guess i still don’t listen.

 

[Chasing Embers]

what's my next move whilst summer is creeping in?

Your own apartment. If your activities are against the owners of the home you live in, respect that and find another place where you can pursue interests.

 

[mbmoehl]

Tell your parents that your girlfriend is pregnant, you got drunk and wrecked your car and the gun wasn’t your. After all that, pipe smoking will seem trivial.

My wife does this to me all the time.

 

[Ahi Ka]

Ja ja ding dong.

 

[ThermionicScott]

Put the pipe in a drawer, and wait until you are 25 and have a fully developed brain.

That’s giving too much credit to a lot of people over 25.

 

[AJL67]

Their roof, their rules.

 

[metalheadycigarguy]

Some great advice has already been giving in this thread so no need to repeat that. What I will add is this...

Since you believe your parents associate pipe smoking with cigarettes, then I would suggest doing some research on pipe smoking. There have been lots of studies that talk about the difference between pipes and cigarettes. You can share that information with them, so they can understand that there is a difference. Of course pipes are not healthy, but they're healthier than cigarettes.

 

[thepipesman]

Listen to your parents. You can try talking with them and explaining the difference between pipes and cigarettes. And explain your desire to partake in a vice that has lesser negatives than many others. And how your intention is not to let it impact your school or sports. But in the end you need to respect their rules. If it's not your house, you aren't in a position of authority there. They are just trying to look out for you and do what they think is best for you. If they didn't love you they wouldn't care what you smoked or how you did in school.

 

[Epip Oc'Cabot]

I am not sure if I am reading things into the OP that are not there…. but I will continue none-the-less.

I am wondering if perhaps the OP is a bit like me in that he DOES want to both respect parents that he loves and at the same time, choose to do things he feels are what he needs to do. In this case it is pipe smoking. To me that conundrum is not so out-of-the-ordinary.

Even though both of my parents have been gone multiple decades, I do often contemplate my own decision making with such questions as “How would my Dad feel about this?” or “How would my Mom feel about this?”

Even though I (obviously) do make my own decisions in life, I can still admit fully that I do try to have many of my decisions be ones that I believe my parents would have been happy with….. because I loved and respected them as my parents and just generally as great people.

So, I wonder if there is a bit of that issue in the Op’s post? My advice….. I would a) talk to them both together with as calm and as logical a mindset as you can muster, b) also talk with your grandfather….. his potential support and his advice will be helpful for you as well.

I believe it is best to talk with them… because they care about you. Ultimately, you WILL have to decide whether to smoke your pipe now or not….. or later or not as well…. but there is never a time to not try to explain what you would like to do and why so that perhaps you parents can at least comfortably accept your choice.

 

[RonM]

I assume at 18 you're a legal adult and free to do what you want, although if you're still living at home I'd try to respect their wishes. Legalities and respect for your parents aside, I'd definitely recommend moderation when it comes to any type of tobacco use at such a young age. I'm 66 and willing to take my chances with a pipe occasionally. If I were a younger man and puffing on a pipe all day, every day, I'd be a lot more concerned about the possible health ramifications. But that's just me; everyone has to weigh risk against pleasure and decide for themselves.

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

Tell the truth, deal with the consequences.

 

[TN Jed]

I still lie to my parents and I'm 56. Apparently I'm the only bad kid on here, so don't listen to me.