Well I've been back to work and with the baby being home things are stressful. We don't have mommy and daddy time, our 2 year old daughter is insanely jeaulous. Sorry to wine but I've about reached the edge.
Stressed...... Irishsmoker
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I feel for ya brother... Mine are now 15 and 13 ... So been through that stage.
I will say... It will get better, but not by much though :P lol
You do NEED to find a bit of time, even if it's just a quick lunch... It helps out SO much.
Anyways... Good luck brother... Now go smoke a damn bowl!
I will say... It will get better, but not by much though :P lol
You do NEED to find a bit of time, even if it's just a quick lunch... It helps out SO much.
Anyways... Good luck brother... Now go smoke a damn bowl!
There is no easy solution. The next few weeks are going to be exhausting, for you and your wife.
Perhaps it would be helpful to look at this from a military perspective. What is the objective (hint: long term happy peaceful home) Who is the enemy, exhaustion, jealousy, etc, not a person in the house. What resources do I have, loving wife, time away at work to regain perspective, chicken restaurant down the street etc. What tactics should I take? buy a bucket of chicken on the way home. Do dishs. Play with the 2 year old while your wife nurses the baby. Do laundry. Keep your eye on the objective. Don't be distracted.
Eventually life gets easier. Usually when the baby can sleep through the night. That is a biggie. Just decide with yourself, I am going to do whatever is necessary to make this a happy family again. Ask for help from family or friends that are near by.
Wish I could give you an easy answer. Winton
Perhaps it would be helpful to look at this from a military perspective. What is the objective (hint: long term happy peaceful home) Who is the enemy, exhaustion, jealousy, etc, not a person in the house. What resources do I have, loving wife, time away at work to regain perspective, chicken restaurant down the street etc. What tactics should I take? buy a bucket of chicken on the way home. Do dishs. Play with the 2 year old while your wife nurses the baby. Do laundry. Keep your eye on the objective. Don't be distracted.
Eventually life gets easier. Usually when the baby can sleep through the night. That is a biggie. Just decide with yourself, I am going to do whatever is necessary to make this a happy family again. Ask for help from family or friends that are near by.
Wish I could give you an easy answer. Winton
Irish, my son who was 3 when we had twins, boy and girl hated them, grandparents didn"t help, transferred all their affection to twins, son felt left out, caught him twisting one babies leg that had come out of bed slats , he told me, break its leg, talked to grandparents and started involving him in changeing diapers,go get powder, etc and one day he was their protecter, daughter feels left out , you and wife are tired, but it gets better , believe me. The old cajun
Dude, Mommy and Daddy time is nearly over until they are out of the house. A part of having a child is the commitment to put aside most, not all, but several things and nurture them. It's tough and a huge responsibility. Ya better get used to that my friend. It does get better. :
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Irish, this is a busy busy time. I have a 6 year old boy and a 5 month old baby boy. I quit my job last month to be a full time stay at home dad. Be glad you have a job to get you out a few hours a day. Now do not get me wrong I love the time I spend with my kids. I am just saying I understand some of what it feels like at this stage. Some days it feels like I am running a marathon and have miles to go before sleep. You are in a little different boat with the kids so close together. So I bet things are intense.
The another parent at school asked him(6 year old) what it was like to have a baby brother.His answer was ," I'm not the cute one any more." Funny and kind of sad at the same time.
We try to do things with the oldest to make him feel like he is getting special time with mommy and daddy. One on one time ya know? Special outing with mom one day and me the other. I took him to see a movie last week and lunch, fishing last week end. Stuff like that. When I can tell he is getting jealous feelings. I tell him about some outing that I have planned. I told him he needs to understand that his baby brother is going to be jealous of him one day. He looked at me like I was confused.Then I told him he is the oldest and gets to do all the awesome stuff first and that his brother is going to look at him like he is awesome! He may get jealous that you get to do all this cool stuff! Try and put a spin on it to sell it to your oldest.
Hang in there bro.
The another parent at school asked him(6 year old) what it was like to have a baby brother.His answer was ," I'm not the cute one any more." Funny and kind of sad at the same time.
We try to do things with the oldest to make him feel like he is getting special time with mommy and daddy. One on one time ya know? Special outing with mom one day and me the other. I took him to see a movie last week and lunch, fishing last week end. Stuff like that. When I can tell he is getting jealous feelings. I tell him about some outing that I have planned. I told him he needs to understand that his baby brother is going to be jealous of him one day. He looked at me like I was confused.Then I told him he is the oldest and gets to do all the awesome stuff first and that his brother is going to look at him like he is awesome! He may get jealous that you get to do all this cool stuff! Try and put a spin on it to sell it to your oldest.
Hang in there bro.
I had a perspective similar to the military one. In my case, I treated it like my house was in some kind of natural disaster--it made it easier to let go of some of the "small stuff" and make sure the most important stuff got taken care of, a kind of triage.
In my honest opinion, this stage sucks but it passes quickly. It gets so much better. Take it from me: right now my two pre-schoolers are entertaining themselves with pbskids.org while I sit here giving out unsolicited advice...
In my honest opinion, this stage sucks but it passes quickly. It gets so much better. Take it from me: right now my two pre-schoolers are entertaining themselves with pbskids.org while I sit here giving out unsolicited advice...
I had to drive 25 miles to pick up some prescriptions, and took my Mom and my two nephews along.
They were some screaming and crying fits. One would start, the other would join in, and vice versa.
And they also loved it when the windows were down on the freeway, and they also fell asleep.
Stressed me out like mad, but we all made it home safe and sound.
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They were some screaming and crying fits. One would start, the other would join in, and vice versa.
And they also loved it when the windows were down on the freeway, and they also fell asleep.
Stressed me out like mad, but we all made it home safe and sound.
I think Freud is telling you that you need some Chardonnay. :
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@irish
What you are going through mate is normal, in so far as having kids. The old saying is "You will not have a hot cup of Hot Coffee for at least 2 yrs". I remember those days well. It does get better and one learns to adjust. Whatever you are feeling, your spouse is feeling it too. Make sure you use the few precious moments you get together wisely. All will be well in the end.
What you are going through mate is normal, in so far as having kids. The old saying is "You will not have a hot cup of Hot Coffee for at least 2 yrs". I remember those days well. It does get better and one learns to adjust. Whatever you are feeling, your spouse is feeling it too. Make sure you use the few precious moments you get together wisely. All will be well in the end.
Irishsmoker
One of the many things that pipe smoking can really help out is stress. I know that you are very busy, so try to take time to smoke a bowl and know that a few of us are pulling for you. You are a very good family man in my book.
Oldshacker
One of the many things that pipe smoking can really help out is stress. I know that you are very busy, so try to take time to smoke a bowl and know that a few of us are pulling for you. You are a very good family man in my book.
Oldshacker
If you have relatives nearby, try to get them to watch the kids for an evening so that you and your partner can get out for dinner, and back home for some "mattress mambo".
I think I must understand my own parents a bit better now. They must have lived most of their lives on the edge.
Hang in there friend. After all you have been through it would be a shame to be brought down by a little baby.
Keep smiling.
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