Spotted...In The Wild!

[Gimlet]

And there are times and places for such behavior. In a proper pub I can enjoy the craic (a proper Irish word indeed.) as well as the next guy. But, that's the reason I'd go. There's a big difference in interacting in a social gathering and simply invading someone's personal space because you feel like socializing. I didn't grow up in a metropolis so my space is probably wider, certainly more sacrosanct than,in perhaps for other people.

But, I respect personal space and expect mine to be respected. Yes, I have the "gift" available when I want to use it. Or, so I've been told. Your conclusions are simply not valid. Logical maybe, as people need imagery to fill out the limited information provided by members through posts.

You're probably lucky in that you've got the space. I'm no sociologist but I'm sure people who live in ever more crowded towns and cities and who know no other existence, are without realising it compensating for the lack of physical and social space by creating virtual barriers around themselves, either by not seeing or acknowledging others who are not in their immediate social group and behaving as if the rest of humanity did not exist, or by physically blotting them out with screens, ear buds and their own noise.
Thus they become self-centred and infantilised by toys and distractions and society reverse-evolves into a human zoo full of damaged captives. Unnatural and destructive behaviour becomes established as the societal norm and defended as "culture" when really it is anti-cultural and antisocial.
That's where we are now and as population density worsens the trajectory will be ever downwards.

 

[warren]

When I was a copper on the Graveyard shift I sometimes had time to try and figure out the human race and the varied behaviors. I developed a theory that sociopaths and psychopaths were less known in the early days of North American colonization. It was an observation that when territory was comparatively empty those people who recognized their inability to coexist, comfortably, in a city, town or village, amongst others, explored the "frontier." I always thought Dan'l Boone personified my theory. Indeed the last bio I read of him seemed to support my nocturnal ruminations. He was not a happy man around family and friends. And, it was only towards the end of his life that he realized his trail blazing had, in fact, slowly deprived him of his freedom to explore as the populations followed him and reduced the amount of safe, relatively free of whites, lands for him to hunt and revel in.

Many indigenous cultures isolated their undesirables, banishing them from tribal lands. Some Alaskan clans/tribes still enjoy the legal right to do this. Hence, the rising number of those so exiled in some cities.

 

[Chasing Embers]

You're probably lucky in that you've got the space. I'm no sociologist but I'm sure people who live in ever more crowded towns and cities and who know no other existence, are without realising it compensating for the lack of physical and social space by creating virtual barriers around themselves, either by not seeing or acknowledging others who are not in their immediate social group and behaving as if the rest of humanity did not exist, or by physically blotting them out with screens, ear buds and their own noise.
Thus they become self-centred and infantilised by toys and distractions and society reverse-evolves into a human zoo full of damaged captives. Unnatural and destructive behaviour becomes established as the societal norm and defended as "culture" when really it is anti-cultural and antisocial.
That's where we are now and as population density worsens the trajectory will be ever downwards.

I grew up on the country where the nearest neighbors were at least 5-10 miles down the road. None of my interests growing up required team participation so I just never developed an affinity or need to be around others. I've just never seen the need for socializing as it impedes me from pursuing interests or accomplishing tasks.

 

[warren]

I've just never seen the need for socializing as it impedes me from pursuing interests or accomplishing tasks.

Seems very reasonable. I like a person who needs no outside validation.

Some people are very social animals, gotta be in a crowd. I can entertain myself, educate myself and, most importantly, do the work. I really need no human interaction or social intercourse to be a content, happy camper. Not complaining but, sadly, I am the most interesting person I know.

 

[Rossi320]

I find myself checking out the shelf for pipe tobacco to see what they have at my gas station ,I also check to to see if anyone is buying besides myself. I wonder who in my area is smoking a pipe.

 

[Chasing Embers]

I find myself checking out the shelf for pipe tobacco to see what they have at my gas station ,I also check to to see if anyone is buying besides myself. I wonder who in my area is smoking a pipe.

Depending on what it is, they may be using it for RYO.

 

[Rossi320]

Guess that is why I get the eye when I buy captain black, guess I should stick with online tobacco orders

 

[seaweed]

It makes me laugh when the grumpy old men disparage people getting excited to see another pipe smoker. It’s not a secret society, but you both participate in a niche, dying activity. Why get you panties so twisted over someone wanting to acknowledge you both do something considered unusual in todays society? Especially if you’re being conspicuous about it.

The same old grumps have to get their shots in every time, and I just don’t get it. The true codgers wouldn’t be posting here.

 

[sardonicus87]

I like how just simply saying you don't want to be bothered equates to being a grumpy asshole and being disparaging.

Though I don't think I saw anyone in the "don't bother me" camp disparage anyone that is in the "gets excited" camp. Just stated difference of opinion automatically makes you an inherent asshole. Good to know.

Starting to realize why I don't have friends. Guess while I can accept other people's ways of being, they can't accept mine even though it doesn't affect them at all. Apparently my mere existence is a personal affront to others.

I'll never understand why people take it so personally that you don't want to be bothered. I have family members that need to be around people, and they always get mad when they invite me to stuff and I don't want to go. But then if I give in and go, they get mad at me that I am not having a good time doing something I don't like doing that they like, despite the fact that there's 20+ other people there enjoying it. It's like, I won't be like you, get over it and stop crying about it.

Or when people assume they need to make me do something because it's fun to them and they think I am lonely. I'm not, but they can't stand that.

If you want to be left alone, it's rude, but somehow intruding on others without invite is not rude?

 

[seaweed]

I like how just simply saying you don't want to be bothered equates to being a grumpy asshole and being disparaging.

Though I don't think I saw anyone in the "don't bother me" camp disparage anyone that is in the "gets excited" camp. Just stated difference of opinion automatically makes you an inherent asshole. Good to know.

Starting to realize why I don't have friends. Guess while I can accept other people's ways of being, they can't accept mine even though it doesn't affect them at all. Apparently my mere existence is a personal affront to others.

I'll never understand why people take it so personally that you don't want to be bothered. I have family members that need to be around people, and they always get mad when they invite me to stuff and I don't want to go. But then if I give in and go, they get mad at me that I am not having a good time doing something I don't like doing that they like, despite the fact that there's 20+ other people there enjoying it. It's like, I won't be like you, get over it and stop crying about it.

Or when people assume they need to make me do something because it's fun to them and they think I am lonely. I'm not, but they can't stand that.

If you want to be left alone, it's rude, but somehow intruding on others without invite is not rude?

If you want to be left alone that’s fine. I think you’re reading my meaning wrong. I have nothing against someone not wanting to be bothered, but there’s certainly a tone to particular posts deriding people for getting excited seeing another pipe smoker, as if they’re teenage cool kids who are too cool to even comprehend why someone who posts here might find that a little exciting.

I’m not going to read through the whole thread to see your comments, but I genuinely understand if someone wants to be left alone, but if you’re doing something so conspicuous in public…well humans are social creatures and I don’t think you can really expect everyone to know they should leave you alone. To have the preference is fine, to even get annoyed at being bothered in general is fine too, I just don’t like the attitude some seem to have that it’s stupid to get excited to see another pipe smoker out and about. Too cool for school.

 

[warren]

I just don’t get it.

You most likely never will understand, some folks simply want to be left alone. You are not one of those obviously. More power to you. It's really quite simple though, we are not all alike, there are differences. Those differences should be respected. I get it and I don't disparage others with respect to their intrusive nature and lack of respect for others, it's how they are wired. Gregarious is their personality. Me? I simply prefer my own company usually. Seems quite simple really, the differences in individuals, some can't seem to fathom that everyone isn't open and outgoing.

I simply expect you and others to respect my space. I do realize there are folks who insist on foisting themselves off on others. Those folks obviously feel they are doing me a favor by intruding. I'm a polite individual, raised that way, but, I do not suffer fools. I've not got the time left.

You find pipe smoking to be an unusual activity. More power to you. Me? If you think I'm unusual, that's your reality ... not mine. I consider smoking a pipe to be a personal choice. A poor choice of course but, my choice. Conspicuous activity? Maybe. But, getting all het up or, giddy, over seeing someone benignly smoking a pipe? My initial impression is a giddy, excited smoker is simply seeking validation for their own poor choice. Again, that's only. my impression or take.

Also, pray tell, how would one smoke a pipe, in public, inconspicuously? I will admit that many are smoking a pipe for the attention it garners from gawkers and anit-smokers.

LOL that my and others' behavior gets your panties so twisted. As you so quaintly put it. You're not the one bothered by such boorish, intrusive and impolite behavior.

well humans are social creatures and I don’t think you can really expect everyone to know they should leave you alone.

Sadly, there is some truth in the above. But, I will not accept such boorish behavior without a polite rebuff.

 

[Chasing Embers]

Why get you panties so twisted over someone wanting to acknowledge you both do something considered unusual in todays society?

Why get yours twisted over someone's honest response? For some, smoking is the only "me" time they get.

 

[seaweed]

You most likely never will understand, some folks simply want to be left alone. You are not one of those obviously. More power to you. It's really quite simple though, we are not all alike, there are differences. Those differences should be respected. I get it and I don't disparage others with respect to their intrusive nature and lack of respect for others, it's how they are wired. Gregarious is their personality. Me? I simply prefer my own company usually. Seems quite simple really, the differences in individuals, some can't seem to fathom that everyone isn't open and outgoing.

I simply expect you and others to respect my space. I do realize there are folks who insist on foisting themselves off on others. Those folks obviously feel they are doing me a favor by intruding. I'm a polite individual, raised that way, but, I do not suffer fools. I've not got the time left.

You find pipe smoking to be an unusual activity. More power to you. Me? If you think I'm unusual, that's your reality ... not mine. I consider smoking a pipe to be a personal choice. A poor choice of course but, my choice. Conspicuous activity? Maybe. But, getting all het up or, giddy, over seeing someone benignly smoking a pipe? My initial impression is a giddy, excited smoker is simply seeking validation for their own poor choice. Again, that's only. my impression or take.

Also, pray tell, how would one smoke a pipe, in public, inconspicuously? I will admit that many are smoking a pipe for the attention it garners from gawkers and anit-smokers.

LOL that my and others' behavior gets your panties in a bunch. As you so quaintly put.


Sadly, there is some truth in the above. But, I will not accept such boorish behavior without a polite rebuff.

The thing is, I DO want to be left alone. It’s why I live in a tiny town in general, and never smoke in public. I just don’t get your viewpoint that others are seeking validation or that it’s inherently rude to seek out a conversation with a stranger. We won’t see eye to eye on this. It is what it is.

 

[Chasing Embers]

well humans are social creatures

Centuries of war and global expansion would say otherwise. Might wanna start questioning psycho babble rather than blindly parroting it.

 

[seaweed]

Centuries of war and global expansion would say otherwise. Might wanna start questioning psycho babble rather than blindly parroting it.

Lmao okay

Why get yours twisted over someone's honest response? For some, smoking is the only "me" time they get.

if they can grandstand, why can’t I?

 

[sardonicus87]

There again though is something I don't understand. Just the very basic nature of doing something conspicuous means you have to inherently expect to be approached. I don't disagree that this is reality, I disagree with a culture that demands it be expected.

Why? Why is that always the default and not the reverse. Why should it matter if an activity is conspicuous or not, and why should it just be accepted that you will be approached for doing something out of the norm?

Humans being social animals doesn't explain the difference between a "normal" or common activity not eliciting approach, but an "uncommon" activity does, that it somehow warrants others who are curious to intrude.

 

[seaweed]

There again though is something I don't understand. Just the very basic nature of doing something conspicuous means you have to inherently expect to be approached. I don't disagree that this is reality, I disagree with a culture that demands it be expected.

Why? Why is that always the default and not the reverse. Why should it matter if an activity is conspicuous or not, and why should it just be accepted that you will be approached for doing something out of the norm?

Humans being social animals doesn't explain the difference between a "normal" or common activity not eliciting approach, but an "uncommon" activity does, that it somehow warrants others who are curious to intrude.

Fair enough, I suppose. I’ve just made peace with the fact that it is reality and isn’t going to change.

 

[warren]

I just don’t get your viewpoint that others are seeking validation or that it’s inherently rude to seek out a conversation with a stranger.

There are signs, if one looks for them, easily discerned which tell others if that person is open to interruption. Eye contact is one. A smile is another. But, a self-important individual neither looks for or, perhaps, ignores such overt indicators. Politicians out glad handing are perfect examples of such. That person obviously feels meeting them and conversing would be a boon for the poor, unsuspecting pipe smoker.

And, unless you are seeking help/assistance such an intrusion is indeed rude, impolite, boorish, etc. behavior. When one puts their wishes over another, particularly a stranger, they are indeed acting, my opinion, in an anti-social manner. But, I don't believe you would ever acknowledge such behavior as being intrusive and, therefor rude.

But, seriously, I thank you for your thoughts on such an insignificant issue. My space is just that, I do not share it often and then very selectively. Here, on this site, we are all easily approached and, most significantly, it's by our choice.

 

[seaweed]

But, seriously, I thank you for your thoughts on such an insignificant issue.

Same.

 

[Green Hill Hermit]

If you want to be left alone that’s fine. I think you’re reading my meaning wrong. I have nothing against someone not wanting to be bothered, but there’s certainly a tone to particular posts deriding people for getting excited seeing another pipe smoker, as if they’re teenage cool kids who are too cool to even comprehend why someone who posts here might find that a little exciting.

I’m not going to read through the whole thread to see your comments, but I genuinely understand if someone wants to be left alone, but if you’re doing something so conspicuous in public…well humans are social creatures and I don’t think you can really expect everyone to know they should leave you alone. To have the preference is fine, to even get annoyed at being bothered in general is fine too, I just don’t like the attitude some seem to have that it’s stupid to get excited to see another pipe smoker out and about. Too cool for school