Something completely new to me

[captainprophesy]

So tonight I met one of my daughters first boyfriends... She's 18 and in college and has been seeing this kid now for about a week. He came by the house to pick her up to go to his little sisters birthday party,

My first reaction was to say "No way!" ... But he showed up early to pick her up and so he today was the day he got to sit down in front of me and have a little talk. He was very polite with "sir" and kept quiet while i loaded a pipe... We then began to talk and he turned out to be a good kid, he's a wrestler for his school and wants to be a cop, he helps take care of his two little sisters and gets good grades. He took the threat of imminent death should he hurt my little girl, very well. He seemed very level headed and when asked of his hobbies and what he did for fun said he was actually very boring, school, wrestling and family took up much of his time. Again he seemed to be a good kid, but I'll be running his plates with some of my friends on the force. as they were leaving I noticed he opened the door for her both at the door and at the his car. All good signs, but I'm still a dad and can't help but to worry.

My wife says not to be such a hard ass, but I say hog wash, I ned to know what this kids about before I'm ok with him dating my little girl.

Having girls is sure as hell a double sword... But at the end of the day my two girls and my son, all know how to handle themselves and up till now have proven to be good judges of characters.

Regardless... It will be a long while before i 100% trust him... It's all pretty new to me.
Any suggestions from other fathers that have been through this?

 

[mso489]

In your place, I would growl and snarl and stalk around protectively. However, between paranoid seizures, remember your girlfriends of the past? Observe your wife. Have they all not had your number, coming and going, forever and ever? Likely, your daughter will do fine. People all have their hearts broken somewhere along the way, but most often it comes at least half from them. This kids sounds pretty good. When your daughter sends him on his way, you may wish he'd come back.

 

[cortezattic]

Hormones -- that's what's goin' on pop.

 

[rigmedic1]

I sat on the porch sharpening my katana when my daughter brought her first boy friend home. Never saw him again, and neither did she, lol. As for my other daughters, well, they were very restrained about bringing boys around. Kids are going to do what they will anyway, you just have to trust them to do the right thing, and hope for the best.

 

[deathmetal]

Never can be too paranoid about other people

 

[michaelmirza]

I'm not a parent, but from what I observe the hardest part of parenting is coming to terms with having less and less control over your kids as they get older. I imagine it's a cool moment when a parent can come to see his or her adult child as somewhat of an an equal some point (while still maintaining paternal respect of course).
Again, not a parent, but my advice: treat your daughter like an adult by honoring her freedom, but remind her constantly that (A) you'll love her no matter what happens and (B) you'll always be there if she needs you.
Sounds like she found herself a decent fella.

 

[jkrug]

Been there done that! I have three beautiful daughters and it is never easy when they start seeing someone new. So far the young men they have dated have turned out to be good fellows, still you always worry. Unless provoked I am pretty much a gentle giant but I am large and somewhat angry looking so the boys are always scared to death of me...I like it that way. :wink:

 

[cortezattic]

It scares me just to look at your avatar picture! 8O

 

[tbradsim1]

Cap you raised her right, she's gonna be ok.

 

[papipeguy]

You got her to 18 without boyfriend issues? You're a lucky man. Guys started sniffing around our daughter at 13. It was easier then, I used to tell the boys that if they touched her I'd flay the skin off of them and have shoes made so I could stomp on them.

This kid sounds all right based on your description and his manners. Your daughter will be fine. It is tough letting go but that's part of growing up for all of us.

 

[newbroom]

Any suggestions from other fathers that have been through this?

You're doing great! Just keep kidding yourself!

 

[jkrug]

It scares me just to look at your avatar picture!

No worries....you're safe unless you're thinking of dating my daughters!! :lol: :lol:

 

[pipestud]

She's 18-years old and in college (legally an adult). While I appreciate your concern, c'prophesy, I am puzzled by your over protective attitude. Perhaps there's some family history that leads to your distrust of your daughter's judgement, I don't know. But, if you raised her right and trust her, then you've got to learn to let out the leash or you'll drive yourself bonkers. By the way, when you smoke, are you a clencher? :wink:

 

[captainprophesy]

Thanks guys... Yeah it sure is hard letting go, but I do agree that all we can do is teach our kids the best we cab and hope for the best. One good thing is that both daughters always tell me that all their friends, at least the male ones, are afraid of me, not even sure why but I'll take it, my girls say its because I stomp around acting all grumpy all the time. :lol:
Well anyways, I gave her a 12:30 am curfew and the boy had her home 5 minutes early, so that's always a good thing. Well for now he seems like a good kid, no sagging pants and well spoken and polite. The fact that he opened the door for my girl spoke volumes to me as I don't see that very much anymore, well except from my son, but he doesn't count as I've taught him manners. So we'll see how it goes, and as MSO stated ... Most likely this is just temporary as most young relationships are, but we can never be too carefull as dads. :wink:
@pioestud... Yes I'm a clencher, why? ... And I do trust my kids, what I don't trust is other peoples kids... There are plenty of people that should never have kids and are horrible parents, how am I to know. My daughters have been taught how to be pretty good judges of character, but they're still young and will make mistakes especially when they're hormones are going every which way.

 

[pipestud]

@pioestud... Yes I'm a clencher, why?

Oh I don't know, C'prophesy. Might of been this line of yours that got me to wondering -

He took the threat of imminent death should he hurt my little girl, very well.

I was just wondering if people who threaten to kill other people were clinchers. 8O
Pipestud

 

[peckinpahhombre]

Make sure the boy doesn't wear a baseball type hat with a flat brim, as opposed to one where the brim is bent into a concave form as all baseball hats should be. The flat brim baseball caps are a telltale sign that he should be watched closely and also indicate that he has no sense of judgment or style.
By the way, you should also make sure she has appropriate contraception.

 

[didimauw]

Oh yeah, my daughter turns 3 in December. I have a long time to clean my guns and work on my death threats. Lol

 

[captainprophesy]

Ugh! Flat brims :?

 

[aggravatedfarmer]

Clean your gun in front of him next time. That's another good warning.

 

[deathmetal]

I was just wondering if people who threaten to kill other people were clinchers.

We all do this. Commit a murder, we destroy your life through endless prison or execution. Same difference.