School me on Easy Tobacco Growing

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I guess if you had the space, in MO, stalk cured burley which you forget about in the shed for a year might be the easiest.
It’s really hard for me to answer to the laziness part of all of this. I wake up and check the tobacco like it’s my children. Ha ha.
It’s like asking me, “how do I raise a child by doing nothing?” Ha ha! I mean, sure, it’s possible, but what kind of kids do you want?
 

Misanthrope

Can't Leave
Apr 26, 2020
367
1,128
Texas
I happen to know exactly how lazy people can grow tobacco. For this, I use the most fearsome agricultural weapon in my arsenal, which I carry in my back right pocket at all times.

Through the mighty and barely restrained arcane powers of my wallet, my friends John Middleton and Peter Stokkebye are magically able to seed, grow, harvest, cure, case, sauce, season, shred, and package my tobacco crop in as much time as it takes for me to open it and hand a card to the cashier.
 
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Briar Lee

Lifer
Sep 4, 2021
4,960
14,356
Humansville Missouri
I appreciate all the responses, and I’m of a mind to attempt two different attempts at lazy man’s tobacco.

One will be land race, or rustic tobacco I’ll plant in a secluded place on my farm where a wagon road ran once upon a time, my father said was abandoned before he was born a hundred years ago. The ruts are still visible, and a stone fence still protects it, and curiously weeds and brush don’t invade it. Let’s see how it raises tobacco. Ideally in years to come wild tobacco will grow in that old roadbed, year by year on it’s own.

The other, I think will be bright leaf raised in my wife’s raised garden beds. Maybe I’ll try some burley at the same time. Those will get some watering and attention.

I’ll start the plants inside sometime in February and transplant them in April, when the dogwoods bloom.

Another aspect is I get an excuse to take photographs of the attempts.

And the old road bed needs some apple, pear, plum, cherry and grapevines planted too.

If the deer don’t eat them up.:)