Quotes from the Kids...

[mortonbriar]

Being a parent involves hearing some pretty great one liners, most of which are lost to the day, unless recorded. I have jotted a few down over the years

Here is a place to put your's if you feel inclined....

I thought about it this week because I made some lame 'finding nemo' reference, not knowing my 9yr old had not seen the movie and she asked me if I was talking about the captain out of 20000 leagues under the sea! 100 literary points!

here are a few -

me: What would I do without you?
N: Hmmm, probably smoke your pipe and work.

me: N, please give me some privacy while I am changing.
N: But your bum is staring at ME too, it just keeps staring and staring and staring...and it never says anything. That's what Mr Bum does.

N: Papa, do you wish you were a girl so you didn't have to work everyday?

N: Don't go in my room ok Papa? I just had to tip out all of my sock draw to find my calendar but I think L meant my shirt draw.

 

[AcesAndEights]

Oh man! This could get fun!

My 6yo, showing me his water color painting: Dad, guess what it is

Me, after a few guesses: I don’t know, what is it?

6yo: A masterpiece

 

[Chasing Embers]

My youngest daughter was four years old the first time she saw me with no facial hair. She asked me what happened and I told her that i shaved it off. She immediately told me to shave it back on.

 

[kschatey]

"Never." That's the reply to everything lately.

 

[rmpeeps]

“Uncle Mark farts.”
Bless her heart.

 

[sablebrush52]

“Uncle Mark farts.”
Bless her heart.

If she was around me, she’d never stop talking.

 

[bullet08]

Remember a lot of funny things. Now the younger one's going to college in the fall. I remember getting a call from his martial art school when he was 5th grade or so. I thought something happened and drove over. My older son told me "Yeah, he try to control himself pretty good until the master told him to do more bunny hop." "He told mater to go f#ck himself." I had to laugh. He got some balls. Of course, I apologized to all the masters and promised to discipline him. He got an ear full from both my wife and I.

 

[alaskanpiper]

Me: “Are you gonna do a somersault?”
Z: “No, I’m gonna do a somerpepper!”

Z: “Daddy, can we beep the car?”
Me: “Not now, we’re on the highway”
Z: “When we are on a downway can we beep?”

Z: “Where do the (NHL) penguins come from?”
Me: “You know the answer”
Z: “Pittsburgh! Is that close to Cheeseburg?”

Me: “Can you move, I need to get out of the shower please.”
Z: (sprints into the living room) “Mommy look out! Daddy’s penis is coming!!!”

 

[mortonbriar]

N: “What’s 5 mixed up with 6?”
Me: 5 plus 6 is 11, just like it is 11 o’clock right now.
N: “Great timing!!” Said with gusto and Italian hands, inherited from her mother.

 

[Franco Pipenbeans]

I took a nephew to a cafe when he was little.
“Can I have some sausages?”
“Yes but you need to do a lot of running when you’ve eaten them because food like that makes you fat.”
Pause; Ike looks round the cafe and settles his gaze on a pair of pregnant ladies.
“They must’ve eaten lots of sausages and not run anywhere.” He said, dipping his sausage into some ketchup.
“No Little Man; those ladies are pregnant, they have babies in their tummy’s. You were in your mummy’s tummy once and I was in grandmas tummy once as well.”
A look of general confusion came across his face, sausage paused in mid flight to his mouth, his little arm moving his mop of fringe to one side.
He looked around the cafe a bit more and after a minute said “Oh? That man must be pregnant too then!” ???‍

 

[anotherbob]

Most I got is when I was a kid I thought the Steelers where the Stealers as in they were named after thieves. Like they name the baseball team pirates why not stick with the theme.
I also thought the Bob Marley song Stir it Up was about cereal.
I know not the same but girls tell me I was a cute kid so....

 

[mawnansmiff]

There's a family story of when Grandma came to visit us when I was about 5 years old.

Grandma had misplaced her hearing aid and while my sisters hunted for it, apparently I ran to Mother and said "Mummy Mummy, Grandma's lost her ear grenade".

I still get teased about that to this day

Regards,

Jay.

 

[kurtbob]

We were eating at a Mexican restaurant and hadn’t ordered yet with my 14 and 16 yr old daughters.

waitress- would you like more chips and queso?

16 yr old- hell no! No more chips and cheese, I’m ordering the nachos please though?

 

[monty55]

My ex is Cajun, and her father went to LSU and was a big LSU fan. He had a big portrait of Mike the Tiger in a bedroom at the back of the house. When my boy was about 5 or 6 yrs old we were visiting there, and he had wondered back to that bedroom unbeknownst to us. He comes running into the living room where we were all sitting and says with a scared look on his face... "Mommy there's a tiger back there and it's going to eat me!" My wife, who had forgotten all about the picture of Mike the Tiger being back there said "Oh Blake, that's just your imagination". He walked off and wonders back to the back of the house again and shortly thereafter comes running into the living room and says, as serious as can be "Mommy my imagination is going to eat me!" We all laughed our ass off.

 

[mawnansmiff]

Though not a kid's quote this is a funny story.

When on holiday as a young lad we were all lying on the beach. I looked up and saw the lovely cloud formations which led me to ask my dad "what are clouds made of?".

Quick as a flash he said "clouds are made of cotton wool".....which I fully accepted. Then anticipating my next question he said "you know the cotton wool that your mum uses on your baby sister, well that is what got caught up in aeroplane propellers, and when the planes land, someone plucks it off the propellers and bags it up for the shops".

For years I believed that

Regards,

Jay.

 

[monty55]

Reminds me of the old Art Linkletter show "Kids Say the Darndest Things", which I believe has been resurrected. That show always made people laugh.

 

[autococker07]

My daughters, who grew up with my Ex-wife, had a pretty rough childhood, unfortunately they continued this into their teen years, and both dropped out of high school, despite making good grades.

about 5 years ago my youngest daughter (20) and my oldest son (7) and I were talking, and she was complaining about work, pay, rent, etc..... ie how life is tough.....

The 7 year old looked her in the eye, with no emotion or judgment and said "Well I guess you should have gotten a better education"

About two years prior to that (so he was 5) the boy, and two of my retired military friends were at the shooting range.... one friend brought out his new 22 revolver to show us. before anyone realized it, my son gently pushed the muzzle aside and towards the ground and told the friend "Do you mind not pointing that muzzle at me?"

My boy is a firebrand, and tells it like it is (just like his momma) especially if you don't want to hear it

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

My great grand father had nine children to which he said children should be seen and not heard. I disagree, but I would agree when making the application to canines.

 

[hawky454]

Watching Aladin, my daughter (2 years old at the time) saw that if you rub a lamp a magic genie comes out, she got up and went over to the tall living room lamp and started rubbing it... said, “but nothings coming out!”

“Only funny people have butts.”

My daughter walked into a door, pretty hard she said, “Whoa! Who put that there? That doors not supposed to be there!”

“If the bugs eat all my hair then I’ll be a boy! But when I grow up I want to be a papa like you!”

“Papa, when I fart I lose air.”

I leave it here, I have to go to work… I could go all day, I write down all the funny stuff she says in a journal. Great idear for a thread!

 

[elessar]

"Daddy are a pretty fast runner?"
"No buddy, not really."
"Why aren't you a pretty fast runner?"
"I don't know buddy."
....thinks about it for a couple of seconds...
"Is it because of all the fat on you?"
"Yeah buddy, that's probably it."

Honest little bastard ?