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brian64

Lifer
Jan 31, 2011
10,041
16,098
Y’all appreciate this funny story . Walking dog at night smoking a pipe ( cream brûlée in a vaun pipe). No street lights Dog did his dump in someone’s front yard in the dark. Holding my cellphone flashlight to see poop to pick up, trying to pick up the poop with poop bag, hang on to the dog who’s pulling to continue walk. You guessed it. Pipe dropped out of mouth and onto pile. Yuck. Put pipe in another poop bag. At home able to clean. The crap didn’t get in the bowl just on the outside. Guess I’m going back to taking a cigar when I walk dog. Though pipe tastes so much better!
This is exactly the kind of thing that would happen to me, which is one of the reasons I only smoke at home. A man's got to know his limitations.

Smoking while walking just isn't enjoyable to me anyway.
 
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woodsroad

Lifer
Oct 10, 2013
12,912
21,599
SE PA USA
My favorite dog shit story;
13 years ago we brought home two Lab puppies. They were wild little troublemakers and chewed on everything they could find. Furniture, first edition photo books, cell phones, TV remotes and, of course, their beds. Whatever went in had to come out, so we’d see bits of magazines, dog toys and oriental rug. Since we live in the woods, we never have to do pooper scooper duty, we just let nature deal with it. A year or so later, I started seeing tree seedlings coming up with bits of dog bed and couch upholstery hanging off their tiny branches. What better place to start life than under a load of nice, rich dog crap? Well, every year since I have spotted trees with small chunks of our old red slip covers, or their brown and gray dog beds hanging off. Some of those trees are getting pretty big now. I’ve seen birds tugging at the bits of cloth, hoping to add it to their nests. The dogs are both gone now, but their important work of sharing our sofa with the rest of the natural world lives on.

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