Pipes and Flatulence

[deathmetal]

Well, that's the third time we've had to call the fire department.
Any hints for a method of restricting flatulence to avoid methane explosions?
I don't think this house can stand much more. Next conflagration is the last... Royal Yacht or not.

 

[pitchfork]

I think you're doing it wrong.

 

[deathmetal]

Man, I'm on fire.

 

[mso489]

Try keeping the match or lighter above your neckline.

 

[deathmetal]

I may need a bigger room. It quickly fills with methane and becomes inflammable.

 

[phil67]

Now that explains why you love RY so much, you're smoking the pipe out of your ass. :wink:

 

[deathmetal]

Good idea. I should try that. How do you manage the inhale however? And what's the retrohale like?

 

[phil67]

Good idea. I should try that. How do you manage the inhale however? And what's the retrohale like?

I've never attempted it, but I imagine the retrohale would taste like shit, or Mixture No.79, which is basically the same thing.

 

[deathmetal]

Mixture 79 is the standard by which all other tobaccos should be judged.
Blew out four windows today. It's going to take a long time for the neighboring houses to remove the glass fragments from their siding.

 

[pitchfork]

Have you tried a churchwarden?

 

[cobguy]

Any hints for a method of restricting flatulence to avoid methane explosions?

Stick some surgical tubing up your butt and direct this either out a window or directly into an incineration box.
Alternately, this gas can be collected in a high-psi tank and fitted to a Hybrid truck.

 

[deathmetal]

Oh, then I can drive a PriASS.

 

[mcitinner1]

:roll: :crazy: :roll: :crazy: :roll: :crazy:

 

[peteguy]

I had legendary flatulence long before I started smoking a pipe. I do not believe the two to be related, at least in terms of decibel level. I cannot give out any information on the smell as mine do not stink.

 

[phil67]

@ mcitinner1
Agreed, that about says it all with this subject.

 

[bonehed]

At room temperature and standard pressure, methane is a colorless, odorless gas.

More recent evidence proves that the major contribution to the smell of flatus comes from a combination of volatile sulfur compounds (VSC). It is known that hydrogen sulfide (H2S), methyl mercaptan, MM (also known as methanethiol, MT), dimethyl sulfide (DMS), dimethyl disulfide (DMDS) and dimethyl trisulfide (DMTS) are present in flatus.

I just read far too much about this...

 

[prairiedruid]

Bonehed = Fartologist

 

[cobguy]

Oh, then I can drive a PriASS.

:rofl:

 

[mso489]

"Fart proudly." --Ben Franklin (I think this may be an authentic quote.)
In France in the 19th Century, there were dance hall performers who performed songs by releasing flatulence. I'm not sure how they sustained the tune past the first few bars, but so they did.

 

[deathmetal]

http://www.johnbarber.com/pujol.html
Even better, his name was Joseph Pujol (pronounced "poo hole").