Pipe Smoking Insults - Post Them Here

[troutface]

"I never knew a man who smoked a pipe that worked a day in his life."

Also, "Never hire a pipe smoker, he already has a full time job."

 

[didimauw]

View attachment 319859

Oh there he is! It's like you knew I was talking about you or something.

Fantastic by the way

 

[troutface]

View attachment 319859

You can't say disabled, it's "earning challenged."

 

[telescopes]

Judging from your homemade pipe repairs, I hope your aren’t thinking about becoming a urologist!

 

[dingdong]

What are you smoking?

 

[ophiuchus]

I could tell right away you were a pipe-sucker.

 

[ophiuchus]

… while you’re at it, you can stick that thing in the other hole.

 

[mpjetset]

Yah not sure about the topic personally but this is from an old loony toons

Porky Pig:
I'll t-take care of you after I catch that rat.
Supreme Cat:
Ah, your sister smokes corn silk!
Porky Pig:
M-m-my sister doesn't smoke corn silk. S-s-she works at a butcher's shop and sm-sm-smokes hams.

Can one smoke corn silk?

 

[AJL67]

Can one smoke corn silk?

It's interesting to google the history of it, it's along the lines of kids thinking they can smoke banana peels for a buzz.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Oh, one more, IYKYK…

Hey there PIPERS!!!

 

[jbfrady]

May your pipes smoke perfectly... as they gurgle like a 7/11 slushie

 

[keith929]

May all your vulcanite stems yellow at the same time.

 

[JOHN72]

I remember Sable saying something scary about a bad tobacco, it was, puppy farts, and infusion of gasoline. That's the cruelest thing I've ever heard in my life.

 

[simong]

Statistics show that unless their tobacco is cube cut, fully rubbed out or drier than a witches tit, 98.2% of US pipesmokers can’t light a pipe!

 

[jpmcwjr]

Statistics show that unless their tobacco is cube cut, fully rubbed out or drier than a witches tit, 98.2% of US pipesmokers can’t light a pipe!

....and the horse you rode in on!

 

[LotusEater]

Statistics show that unless their tobacco is cube cut, fully rubbed out or drier than a witches tit, 98.2% of US pipesmokers can’t light a pipe!

I’d always heard a witches tit was cold but I guess it makes sense that it would be dry

Also - Does that stat apply to Canadians who just happen to live in the U.S ?

 

[OzPiper]

I've run three pipes through my dishwasher- for science!- and no damage. I took out before the dry cycle.

The ultimate water flush

 

[condorlover1]

Got this from someone on here last year but I think it hits the spot...

 

[simong]

Does that stat apply to Canadians who just happen to live in the U.S ?

As you know, Canada is such a hedonistic country where they all start smoking & drinking during infancy, smoking a pipe should hold no such problems, wherever they are in the world.

 

[AJL67]

Yah not sure about the topic personally but this is from an old loony toons

Porky Pig:
I'll t-take care of you after I catch that rat.
Supreme Cat:
Ah, your sister smokes corn silk!
Porky Pig:
M-m-my sister doesn't smoke corn silk. S-s-she works at a butcher's shop and sm-sm-smokes hams.

Speaking of smoking corn silk, in Angel and the Bad Man, J. Wayne is delirious, in a scene where Angel over hears him mumbling about all the women he's been with (its a great scene) but then he says "when i was younger I used to smoke corn silk". Lattice of Coincidence.