Pipe Smoking and My Girlfriend

[gray4lines]

I remember a girlfriend and I having a pretty heated argument over alcohol. I thought it was ok, she wanted no part of it and did not see thebpoint of drinking unless it was to get,drunk, which we both do not do. I, however thoght that drinking could be enjoyed, done in moderation, and was just fine.
Simply, she was raised to not associate with alcohol, for good reasons, and I grew up watching my dad have an occasional beer and never thought anything of it.
So, we were very conflicted. I actually just dropped the argument for a while. But, everynow and then I'd mention it, and talk a little about enjoying responsibly. Slowly, she came around to see my opinion, and why I held it. At the core was trust that she had for me, and my decisions, and also my respect for her feelings, opinions, and worries.
Now that girfriend is my wife, we are very happy, and she surprises me with woodford reserve bourbon, or some nice beers from time to time.
So, there's trust in eachother and eachothers motives and intentions, respect for differing opinions, understanding, willingness to change, and patience from both sides.

 

[bentmike]

Many great words of wisdom in this thread. Here's my favorite:

My deep down feeling is, smoke your pipe and enjoy it! Don't apologize, ask permission or forgiveness for it. You are a man. Always conduct yourself as one. Take care.

And that trust thing. A relationship will go nowhere without lots of that.

 

[dottle]

Man up, and light up. :puffpipe:

 

[dlattim]

If you hide it -- be afraid!

If you have to ask -- be very afraid!!
If you inform her of your decision and she accepts you for who you are -- you're a lucky man, keep her.

 

[taerin]

My gf is a nurse that hates tobacco, but since she sees me enjoying it so much, she actually buys me cigars for special occasions. Your best bet is to light up a nice pipe when she's around and see how she reacts.

 

[pipeinhand]

You have a life, she has a life. If she decides that you need to live a portion of her life and relieve yourself of a part of yours, move on friend, it will only get worse. ALWAYS be up front. I have been married for 37 years and dated my wife for another 3 before that. When you hide something, it becomes 1000 times worse than the item hid.

 

[maduroman]

i have never hid anything from the warden.... that's not to say i tell her everything.
she treats me the same for the most part, lucky me.
just pack and light up, she'll either accept it or she'll move on. do not put up with bickering and nagging about it, life is to short for that. and don't quit "for her" because if you do she'll look for something else to "fix" about you.

 

[austinxpipe]

My fiance didn't like it much at first either, but when she saw me enjoying something, talking to folks on here, building friendships, a spending so little on a hobby she was all for it. Do what you wanna do, within reasons, and she'll come around. If not who cares!

 

[crazypipe]

Smoke your pipe when you want to ,you don't need to ask anyone if it is alright.IMHO ::

 

[atboth]

My ex didn't like my smoking. We were together for more than twenty years, and we're still very good friends. She still doesn't like my smoking.
Don't hide the pipe. It's as much a facet of your personality as those darn handbags probably are of hers.

 

[piperl12]

Well, like the others said don't hide it! The reality check for young men today is that woman want to be with a strong man. Not some sort of weenie. My wife knows she married a hard headed opinionated Irishman. And as hard as it is to believe she is good with that. I look after my family and do the guy things around the house. She likes to know that she is protected, respected and cared for. I don't try to make her into something she is not and she doesn't do it to me either. Long marriages are made of mutual respect, and the strength to know when to let her have her way. Let her win 90% of the time and the 10% you put your foot down she will honour and respect. Don't argue about the small stuff. But don't stop being a man. Not enough of us around anymore. Funny though woman are starting to notice that too.

 

[mustanggt]

Piperl12, Excellent thoughts and I concur 100%. We as a species have got to stop cowtowing to the PC bullscheisse femenist line about how men should be. It aint natural and women want a strong man as the leader of the family not a wuss.

 

[mustanggt]

My second ex was a head case that I was so gaga over I ignored all the signs that she was trouble. She had this fierce femenazi streak but expected me to know when it was ok to be the strong man and take care of her. My timing was never right. As hard as I tried I couldn't read her mind. When I think back on that whole time of my life I just shudder. I would have died from a stroke or heart attack from the stress of being married to that phsyco.

 

[smokedragon]

It seems to be important to point out that pipe smoking should be a relaxing thing. If your girlfriend or parents make it stressful, then the experience can't be fully appreciated.
As an aside, anti-tobacco zombies are people truly susceptible to brain washing. Show her that it is okay, and something you enjoy. You could also compromise. My wife wasn't 100% on board, so I made a deal with her. I promised I'd only tax my body in one way, so I traded my lack of exercise for pipe smoking. She's happy I'm getting in shape, and I get to have relaxing nag-free smokes. ::

 

[zyrcon]

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.
"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, handloading, and fishing.
Maybe you should sell your guns and boat too"
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.
"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't!

 

[smokedragon]

zyrcon, I hereby present you with +1 Internets for that enjoyable story.

 

[mrgunnar177]

Do what you enjoy, if that's smoking a pipe smoke a pipe. Your girlfriend will accept it in time. If not well then you got some evaluating you gotta do.
G

 

[adamthepiper]

I'm not going to hide it from her, but I am going to tell her that I enjoy it and it's something that I want to enjoy once again. If she doesn't like it then I will just try to find a compromise somewhere so we both win. I'll let yall know when I find the right moment to bring it up.
Thanks for the advice!

 

[judcole]

Good luck, Adam.

 

[smeigs]

Real men smoke tobacco pipes adam! Thats all you have to tell her.