Pipe Dementia: Lost Doggie

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cosmicfolklore

Preferred Member
Aug 9, 2013
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Outer Space
Every morning I snag about six pipes to take with me to the shop. I mostly just smoke one while working at the bench, but others are great for when I switch genres of tobacco or run out to deliver and pick up all of the work I get from other stores. Then, before racking all of the days pipes before packing the last bowl of the day, I will break them all down and give them a good cleaning. Then I sometimes I have to deal with an empty space in the rack. I keep the pipes separated by shape on the racks, so when I have a hole left in the rack, I have to begin the memory game. Which one is not here. At least I know it is a bulldog, because the hole is in the bulldog rack. I then check to see if I made a mistake in placing a pipe; maybe it's a dublin that I am really missing. Nope, it's a straight bulldogie.


So, I grab a pipe out of my pocket and light it up while I ponder this. Heck, it might even be a three pipe problem.
"Where all did I go today?" "Did I leave a pipe while running errands?" "what all have I smoked today?"
Puff puff puff...
I retrace my steps... I walk back over to the shop, check out Lora's place, get her all obsessed with finding it too. Maybe the bathroom, the kitchen, The fridge, the freezer? She says that she'll continue to check while I go check my place. The bathroom, the kitchen, the fridge, the freezer? Did I check the bathroom? Check them all over again. I check the pipe bag again, recheck to see if one is out of place. I check my pockets...
Puff puff puff...
Where could it be? I check the car. Was I smoking in the coffee shop? Did I leave it on the counter at The Briary? No, I remember exactly what I was smoking and in what pipe. Accounted for. The restaurant? nope. Hmmm...
Puff puff puff...
I finish my smoke. My mind is tired. I've had to look for stones that I've dropped on the floor. I had to find the papers from the IRS. I'm frustrated and tired of looking for things. It's seems like I am always looking for something. So, I give up. I tap my ashes, clean my pipe, and put the last bulldog right into the empty space on the rack. There it is. I smack myself in the forehead, and decide not to call Lora to have her call of the search on her end. Maybe she'll feel sorry for me and buy me a new pipe, ha ha. I feel pretty stupid. Now, where did I put the TV remote control?
I look forward to full blow Dementia. At least then I will just not know that I need to be looking for things. I've instructed my kids to just Tag me with a GPS device under my skin, so that if I am out lost not knowing where I am, I can enjoy it without everyone freaking out about where I am, Ha ha!!

 

mso489

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Feb 21, 2013
28,605
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The orderliness of all this makes me dizzy. Part of my entertainment is hunting down the pipe I think I want, which I usually find. What a row of dogs! I only dream of such sorting, and then only for photos, grouping by brands, shapes, etc. I also play hide and seek with my coffee cup.

 

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huntertrw

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Jul 23, 2014
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The Lower Forty of Hill Country
cosmicfolklore:
You will be relieved to know that this is not the onset of senile dementia, but rather a temporary condition know as Pipe Misplacement Syndrome (PMS). I say "temporary" because it occurs only once per month as pipe-smokers age.
To lessen the effects, you may want to consider putting your pipes on a leash during your time each month, as this will greatly lessen the probability of them becoming truly lost. To that end, perhaps you could craft some chain-style leashes, perhaps decorated with gemstones, and offer them for sale to us older gaffers who are similarly afflicted?

 

newbroom

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Jul 11, 2014
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That's a variation on the "Where are my glasses?" routine. It's a lesson in perspective.

 

wyfbane

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Apr 26, 2013
4,028
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Tragically, I have misplaced my Pete Dracula. I can relate to loss. =(
I envy your organization. I need to get better compartmentalized pipe racks and organize by shape, I think.

 

jkrug

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Jan 23, 2015
2,869
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Priceless! My particular favourite is getting up to get something I need and forgetting what it was once I get into the other room. :mrgreen:

 

menuhin

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Oct 21, 2014
642
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:laughat:


We can have a similar pic created, but with Cosmic there for clenching pipe smokers alike.

 

stvalentine

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Jan 13, 2015
808
4
Northern Germany
Oh well, my variety of the game is called "where are my dang keys?" My wife is annoyed by this when she is not making jokes about me misplacing the house/car/motorcycle-keys.... :roll:

 

monty55

Preferred Member
Apr 16, 2014
662
0
LOL. That's classic cosmic. I recently lost my every-day seeing glasses. I could not find them for the life of me. Finely I did find them after 5hrs of searching... on my Dad's face! But he has Alzheimer's ... so ..

 

fishnbanjo

Preferred Member
Feb 27, 2013
3,032
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Time for a trip to the Vet getting chipped is cheaper compared to the GPS thing a ma bob. ;)

banjo

 
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