Pipe Abuse - Wicked Are the Ways of Men

[telescopes]

I ain't no saint. I've done some things - some bad things. And while I can only pray fervently that I will be forgiven for the choices I freely made, there are some things, some wicked things, that just don't make sense.

I've abused a few of my pipes. Some were very good pipes that deserved better treatment than I gave them. Some were on the wrong end of my carelessness.

As a substitute teacher when I was 22 years old, I would take my pipes to the shop room and buff them on the high speed buffers. I marred a good many pipes. Others, I would tap the bowl on the side of the car as I cruised down the road only to see them slip out of my hand and onto the road where they quickly disintegrated into a mess of splinters. A few others were smoked in gale force winds and all suffered serious burnouts in the bowl. My calabash went uncleaned for nearly 10 years.

These were all good pipes and they deserved better.

I could go on. But I won't

The worst was taking my prized Dunhill and filling the bowl with Salvia Divinorum and scorching the rim with a blow torch lighter. Not once, but quite a few times. Yes, I learned more about the universe in five minutes time than a doctoral course in quantum mechanics could teach me in 20 years. Still, it took forever to restore that pipe and get rid of some fairly strong ghosting.

I said I wasn't a saint.

 

[Servant King]

All pipe abuse should be immediately reported to the nearest mod.

And no, I don't mean this one:

 

[OzPiper]

From the title of the thread, I thought this going to be a dissertation on the sins of Onan

 

[VDL_Piper]

 

[Lumbridge]

I always have one cob that I don't really care about and is designated as the pipe to be abused. I'll smoke anything in it, smoke it in the wind and rain, travel with it, char the crap out of it, and so on. Two or three now have suffered grisly fates. It's kind of entertaining to see just how much of a beating they can handle before giving up the ghost. The rest of my pipes are treated well, but not babied.

 

[mingc]

The worst was taking my prized Dunhill and filling the bowl with Salvia Divinorum and scorching the rim with a blow torch lighter. Not once, but quite a few times. Yes, I learned more about the universe in five minutes time than a doctoral course in quantum mechanics could teach me in 20 years. Still, it took forever to restore that pipe and get rid of some fairly strong ghosting.

Counter-cultural uses for a Dunhill pipe. I didn't think any existed!

 

[anthonyrosenthal74]

I try to treat my pipes like my mother's fine china. You, sir, are the devil.

 

[Pypkė]

Scorched rims happen when you light a pipe while driving. No bigee...

 

[burleybreath]

I'm guilty of attempted murder. I once, in my youth, lit a pipe and held it out the window of my car while driving at speed. The purpose was to see if I could make it burn out. It got hotter'n hell, but I failed, mostly due to boredom from holding the pipe in that position. No black spot on the exterior. So I tossed it to the side of the road, thus adding littering to my sins. It was a big, heavy freestyle. Hate 'em. Judge me, if you like.

 

[Waning Embers]

Counter-cultural uses for a Dunhill pipe. I didn't think any existed!

Yanik gets a lot of commissions for meerschaum weed pipes so that tracks.

 

[Skippy Piper]

Jeez, that is some serious pipe abuse! I tend to baby my pipes, cleaning the stem and bowl thoroughly after every smoke and not taking them out in inclement weather; making sure to never let them get burning too hot or otherwise risking damage to them.

However, I do have a few cobs that I'll take out in the wind, rain, and snow and not worry about them. In fact, it's quite common for my cobs to become partially frozen during some of my subzero winter time lunting excursions. I still clean and care for them after every smoke same as my briar and meerschaum pipes, they just get exposed to some tougher weather conditions.

 

[OzPiper]

Jeez, that is some serious pipe abuse! I tend to baby my pipes, cleaning the stem and bowl thoroughly after every smoke and not taking them out in inclement weather; making sure to never let them get burning too hot or otherwise risking damage to them.

However, I do have a few cobs that I'll take out in the wind, rain, and snow and not worry about them. In fact, it's quite common for my cobs to become partially frozen during some of my subzero winter time lunting excursions. I still clean and care for them after every smoke same as my briar and meerschaum pipes, they just get exposed to some tougher weather conditions.

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That pipe abuse is just falls short of sticking one on the roof for a year

 

[bassbug]

A gentle reminder that we are talking about a piece of wood and plastic. Perhaps we should be directing our prayers and disdain at more important things.

 

[Hillcrest]

abused

Your not alone ... currently available on ebay :

 

[Copperhead]

I beat on all my pipes....some are cracked and covered in electrical tape, others are super glued, I swap stems on pipes, most have dings and chips....

However, I do keep them all clean. Everything is well used, but I can't abide a dirty pipe.

Your derision is understood and well deserved....lol

 

[mingc]

Yanik gets a lot of commissions for meerschaum weed pipes so that tracks.

It would be very funny if Dunhill starts selling a weed pipe.

 

[abecox]

It would be very funny if Dunhill starts selling a weed pipe.

To be fair any pipe can be a weed pipe if you have enough to pack it right.

 

[Waning Embers]

It would be very funny if Dunhill starts selling a weed pipe.

The Dunhill Airstream practically was.

 

[peteyhan]

I'm calling Sgt Cob of the Briar Police!

Not unlike previous responses, I tend to keep my cobs very clean but slightly more 'rustic.' Considering new briars need to develop the cake I can appreciate that enjoying a cob requires a little less effort but 10 years? That poor calabash

 

[OzPiper]

It would be very funny if Dunhill starts selling a weed pipe.

Anything is possible !
Philip Morris has announced it is getting out of tobacco

I’m not sure if it is a definite corporate strategy to withdraw completely or just making the right noises to placate the rabid anti-smoking brigade.
Maybe they have plans to get into the lucrative vape market

I personally dislike cigarettes, but it is a sad day when one of the largest tobacco companies in the world makes a decision like this.
We have to fear for the existence of our niche pipe tobacco segment