PAD - A Horror Story

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wallbright

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 22, 2010
845
2
We have pretty much all experienced it and if not then you most likely will sometime in the near future. It is very frustrating and has been known to make a grown man or two cry, or at-least break their heart. What am I talking about? The one that got away.
From time to time pipe smokers will fall prey to a sickness identified as PAD, Pipe Acquisition Disorder. Sadly, if you are in fact a pipe smoker then chances are you or someone you love has been diagnosed with this disorder. It is a painful disorder that begins deep in the bowels of a man. It starts as a whisper and grows into a roar. “I must buy pipes!” says the man stricken with PAD and off he goes to peruse the flea markets, local shops, and websites for a new acquisition. Everyone is always told there is a happy ending. Man with PAD goes looking for pipe, man finds pipe, man purchases pipe, and man is happy. However, life is not as simple. May the following story serve as a warning.
On this particularly evening, last night to be exact, a certain man received news that he was going to be acquiring genuine United States currency for a particular upcoming holiday. Ecstatic about the incoming cash flow, the man proceeded to ponder upon what he should buy. He first thought of purchasing a gift for his beautiful girlfriend. He decided this was a viable option and decided to browse the internet for an item to bequest upon his girlfriend. He reached the website and felt a twinge in his stomach. Some voice deep within was telling him this was not right, this money would be wasted. He felt perplexed. How then was he supposed to spend this money? It was then that the man heard an almost faint whisper say, “pipes”. Pipes? But of course! He quickly flipped over to Marty Pulvers website to look at the beautiful pipes he had for sale. Alas, none were found to be pleasing to both the wallet and eyes. He resolved to email Marty Pulvers and inquire about the possibility of new pipes being listed. It was while waiting for Marty to email him back that the man became tired. He decided he would go to bed early and in the morning he would spend the currency. After a restful night’s sleep the man awoke eager and ready to check his inbox. Alas, an email from Mr. Pulvers! He quickly opened the email which advised him to check the website yet again as there were new pipes available. The man eagerly pulled up the website and began browsing the pipes available. Egad! A pipe freshly listed, both pleasing to the eyes and the wallet! The man proceeded to dial Marty and inquire about the pipe. Marty answered and sadly told the man the pipe had already been spoken for. How could this be as the pipe had only been listed for not even an hour? The man said his regards to Marty thanking him for his time, and hung up. The man proceeded to sink in his chair as he sat quietly. It was: THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY.
The previous story is in fact true and occurred just today. May it be a warning to all who suffer from PAD that there is not always a happy ending.
:(

 

connolse

Lurker
Feb 20, 2010
36
51
I feel your pain!
My version of this was somewhat in reverse, where I saw a lovely pipe on a website but couldn't afford it right away. I checked the site lovingly every day, and smiled with great affection at my desired pipe. I saved and saved and saved, putting whatever I could aside to purchase my beloved. She WOULD be mine!
This went on for about four weeks, and then the day came. I had saved enough. I went to the site, but the pipe, that had just been there a few hours earlier, was now gone.
There will never be another like her, and all my PAD now is just a sad attempt to make up for the great pipe that slipped away. . .

 

westcoastrich

Might Stick Around
Feb 17, 2011
88
0
For every loss comes a silver lining, for every miss comes a bulls-eye, fear not, this is what our wonderful hobby is about, searching and, searching and, searching for the perfect pipe. What an enjoyable use of our web surfing time.

 

pipevilleworld

Might Stick Around
Apr 12, 2011
91
0
I have to be honest and admit that lately, over the last month or so, I have been, can't honestly utter, "suffering" but, experiencing the first phases, I would assume, of pipe acquisition disorder; good name, BTW. I would like to add, admittedly, specifically... Mario Grandi pipes. I think I can get a handle on it though. Haven't experienced one slipping from the grips of my eyes and wallet though, luckily.

 

ohin3

Lifer
Jun 2, 2010
2,455
44
Yeah I've had a few get away. I get over it quickly by loading a favourite pipe, having a smoke and probably a whisky while looking for another pipe. I'm in no hurry, there are so many nice pipes out there that I know another will be along soon. I just buy those right place at the right time pipes and enjoy what I have while continuing the search. Still stings though. I was near suicidal when that Ardor Nifea pot dissapeared just as I was about to buy it. Still, the show must go on...what a horrible affliction this is.

 

mowens

Might Stick Around
Jan 5, 2011
94
0
My TAD is far worse than my PAD. I know the feeling though. There was a Peterson pipe I wanted really badly. I filed my taxes Jan 15th to get my tax refund asap. (pipe was about 600 bucks) 2 days before my e-file hit my bank account it was gone. I then proceeded down to my local B&M and bought a bounty of tobacco and few less expensive pipes. The more I think about it the happier I am I didn't buy it. I've grown quite fond of those "lesser" pipes and I have more tobacco than I can handle. Which is always a good thing :puffpipe:

 

papipeguy

Lifer
Jul 31, 2010
15,777
40
Bethlehem, Pa.
The SAS Motto: "Who dares, wins" There is no decision thst cannot be corrected. Never let sleep interfer with PAD. When tired put the significant other on duty to watch out for your interests.

Sounds good in theory. I tried it just once- got flipped off and lost out on the item.

 

unclearthur

Lifer
Mar 9, 2010
6,875
6
It's Karma! You first were going to get the girlfriend a present. Then you decided to spend the money on yourself!The Gods of balance intervened! Either that or the other guy was faster than you were.

 

wallbright

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 22, 2010
845
2
Here is a picture of the pipes (it was actually a 4 pack offered by Marty Pulvers).
The kicker? It was listed for only $30.
DSC00268.JPG


 

pipetrucker

Part of the Furniture Now
Sep 13, 2010
937
1
Following the white rabbit
I know how you feel. I had visited Uhle's in Milwaukee several times and looked at a certain Dublin pipe that was locally made, but had passed it over in favor Peterson each time.
But that one pipe was always resting in the back of my mind. It reached the point that I just had to have it and made a special trip down to buy it just to discover they had sold it that very morning.

 

wallbright

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 22, 2010
845
2
That's rough Mason. I am glad you can relate but also saddened at yours that got away.
I tell you though guys Marty Pulvers is a hell of a guy. He hooked me up with another 4 pipe lot for $30. I had spent so much time talking with him that I decided I trust him so as of now I do not know what brands they are. They look stellar in the pictures though.
PurchasedFromMarty.jpg

Marty is an amazing seller and I know I probably compliment him too much but he deserves it. Hell, he just spent all day communicating back and forth only to make a $30 sale. If that isn't an example of an upstanding seller who cares about his buyers, I don't know what is.

 
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